My husband and I were talking the other day about how 90% of our marriage is nice, filled with respect and love in action. But, there is a 10% cloud that passes by and with it comes a storm of demands from me and a tornado of denial and escape tricks from him! That 10% has nothing funny about it, it is no parody or Saturday Night Live skit, it is where the rubber meets the road in relationships. Like a retreating tsunami pulling all the facades away and our carefully hidden secrets are exposed! Secrets like......you are not perfect! Nor is your spouse! Or your children! These unresolved expectations of perfection can burn a hole right through a persons gut. There will always be times of immense displeasure with our loved ones and those times can stir up the unresolved corpses that lie hidden beneath the surface of our perfectly groomed lives. It's okay to not be perfect or have the perfect life but it's not okay to bury issues that are still alive! Those issues fight for healing, so try to start your new year by sitting down with your loved one(s) and being honest. Or write down your feelings of dismay, fear, contempt...... and get it all out, exposing it. Then re-write it over and over till you refine it down to pure truth, where you can clearly see all sides of it in a truthful light. Then, go to those involved with a heart of love and truth, not to get it all fixed right then but to simply plant a seed of safety to let them know that when they are ready to talk, you will not attack them but you will listen, absorb, and take it to God in prayer. Learn how to speak without being offensive and to listen without being defensive. Getting root problems resolved is scary for all involved because although you think it's only the "other" person who needs to change, if you are honest with yourself and allow the Holy Spirit to shine in your hidden closets, you will see that you also have a wall of fear surrounding you. We all do......that's what being human is, so stop trying to be perfect, stop trying to make your family appear perfect and stop burying the issues that cause so much pain. You will find that people will feel safe around you when you become softer and the changes you desire around you will just come naturally because you will no longer be a scary place to run from but a safe place to run to. The older and more humble I become, I see so clearly that the things others do that aggravate me.......are things that I do too! Mercy and grace are such sweet balms.
These are some thoughts I wrote when I saw some infuriating injustices, not only in my life but in the lives of some of my loved ones:
Rejection or unresolved issues and offences. One, like a sharp knife to the heart that never gets pulled out, the other a burning fire that never relents. They are the most stinging and heart-breaking of all the assaults because of their haunting and unrelenting presence. There's nothing quite like them, whether they clawed you at a young age or recently, the sting remains like an open wound that won't heal. It seems to infect you with a myriad of viruses, from anger (silent screaming), to weeping (deep sorrow), to seeping (short bursts of grief that have built up to the point where it spills over and out), to a dead feeling that melts over you. It can squeeze your being till it's dry of any joy and void of hope, and it's residue remains like a filthy film of despair who's cloud never moves on through your soul.
Any fool can reject you and cause a pain that will prove to possibly be manageable at some point in your life. But, rejection from someone you love and trust is a puncture wound that aches and throbs in your inner recesses. Like a small dose of poison, just enough to make you miserable but not enough to mercifully put you out of your misery. You just eek on and on through each day with your mind and gut wrenching from the infraction and the worse pain is caused by the loved ones refusal to admit, acknowledge or repent for the pain they caused or are causing. Yet, there is another unbearable suffering they can inflict and it's the empty comments of, "That's just the way I am.", "I don't know how to change." and "You're just crazy." There's also the silent, empty, distant stares that burn a hole in the floor because they will not look up until you storm out of the room angry or crying, which is exactly what they wanted! They, like a child, can divert and dodge the issue like a pro by creating an emotional dust storm by just pressing a few of the right buttons to set you off! Then, while you are all discombobulated they escape unscathed and once again the issue is never resolved but put off till the next round. They seem to go on their way unburdened, unaware or unwilling to offer repose. How can someone who claims they love you watch you suffer from their lack of effort? Surely, such offenses can crush you, but so can the constant, daily, moment by moment refusals to make things better or right......stubborn refusals that wear away at the victims spirit.
Where do you go when there is no way out? When each desperate attempt to save yourself or them only takes you deeper into the abyss. Your prayers seem bound by cob-webs and your pleas are covered with layers of dust. You kick and fight till you're exhausted and the waves of hopelessness are unrelenting, until you finally collapse and curl into a ball of despair (literally or emotionally). Then shame covers you because you feel demeaned and sometimes you wish you had a bruise just so you could show someone the pain you are feeling. Once that low has been achieved the only place you feel you have left to go is to spiral down the black hole and hope you can distance yourself from the reality. You become what they have made you rather than who you really are. All you want is for them to care enough about you that they would challenge themselves to grow and change in the areas that are causing so much pain. You just want them to care but their apathy has become their slothful partner and you have become "the enemy". They actually flip the mirror onto you and you begin to say things like, "Who could possibly love me in this condition!? "I must not be worth changing for." How can their lack of trying turn us into such sniveling wrecks that blame ourselves for the problem. Probably because it's easier to condemn ourselves than to argue with someone who will never see or admit what their doing is manipulative! We end up contemptuous, dispirited or live with waves of both crashing over us.
What do you do? Where can you go?
You take your battered soul and crawl up into the arms of Jesus, laying your weary head upon His breast and weep, again and again. That's what you do. You determine in your heart and mind that each time the sorrow comes......you go to God, not to the pit of doubt. It's not God's fault that someone won't change and it's not His fault that your heart is deflated with sorrow. Jesus is our only hope and no matter how many times you are overwrought with deep discouragement, He will always be there to comfort and console you. His faithfulness endures forever and although the tides of darkness role in, He walks upon the water to come to you with fresh love and hope to sustain you and keep you afloat. If your persecutor is evil, then Psalm 35:1 says, "Contend O Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me." (Note: Do not stay in a dangerous relationship but seek help and refuge.) Yet, if your source of heart-pain is coming from a loved one who won't change their emotionally immature, harmful or hurtful behavior and that refusal to address their own issues causes nothing but sorrow, Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:8).
Into the presence of God's Word is where we should not only run but it's where we should stay. Psalm 34:10b, "Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." He is an ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1), He rescues the poor from those to strong for them (Psalm 35:10b). All the pain that life can throw at you has no hope of destroying you if you dwell in His word. His love is all you need, because all you need will never be found in this world no matter where you look for it. Your peace and purpose lie not in others but in Christ. If someone deprives you of love then Praise God that we have "The" God of love, who longs to fill us to overflowing if only we would sit in His presence and absorb it. The only perfect love you will ever have is from Jesus, no human being can fill you to contentment. Psalm 36:5-9, "Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, Your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, Your justice like the great deep. O Lord, You preserve both man and beast. How priceless is Your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They feast on the abundance of Your house; You give them drink from the river of delights. For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light!
When times of sorrow run through your veins and drug you with hopelessness, journal those deep menacing thoughts and lay them out before God. He already knew what was in your heart but until we confess we cannot be set free. A psalm pours out lamentations from deep within someones soul to the Man of Sorrows (Jesus), yet it always ends with praise to our God of Hope! There is nothing too ugly that we cannot go to Him and release because His blood can wash us white as snow (Isaiah 1:18, Though your sins be as scarlet, they will be white as snow, says the Lord.") Those who cause pain can find cleansing from God as well as those of us that hold resentment toward them. We are all sinners and in need of forgiveness and love. My sorrow will raise it's sinister head time and again but each time I must remember not to entertain it but to take it to the throne of God and lay it down, deciding there and then to rather pick up His heavenly love instead. We all have a choice of what we are going to wallow in....sin or love, victim-hood or victorious living, contempt and despair or forgiveness and hope. Through this process of going to the throne of grace I actually began to see that I was not the only one hurting. When there are unresolved issues, there is more than just you who is wounded. Hurt people hurt people.
There are those who desire more in life and the freedom from getting resolution of their fears gives them the wings they need to live life more enjoyably. That resolution does not have to come from who you blame for your unhappiness, it should come from your relationship with God. Then, there are those who try to make it through life without having to deal with their fears and they remain imprisoned in a constant defense mode because they won't go to God and ask for healing. When both remain stubborn, selfish and too afraid to face their own demons, you will see a trail of dreams left by the wayside and everyone suffers. Every reminder of the "buried alive issues" brings one person to a state of resentment and the other to shame, but both will show anger toward each other rather than love. One person spends their life bringing those around them down to their level rather than rising to a higher standard by taking responsibility for their own fears. While the other slowly chips away at the relationship with blows of bitterness from their resentful heart, when really all they want is to walk side by side and have a little peace and joy! Until one of them decides to be kind and approachable, displaying a heart filled with love, they will never be free of the vicious cycle of blame and pride. So much can be gained by realizing that the only surrender is to God. There are no winners or losers just people that will be blessed.
We all feel as though the 10% times are never going to end or change, but they will when one of the people involved steps out of the craziness and lets God speak to them. The more we surrender to God the more freedom we will receive and freedom's only goal is to reach more lives. Apart from God's love, people are always "self" centered rather than "God" centered. By removing yourself from the throne of your life and allowing God to reign there, you will find that life will become more about loving others and caring about their needs than loving yourself and having to have your needs met. You may think that you put others first all the time but in truth we are getting something out of it. Someone may say that they are ALWAYS tending to someone else's needs but in actuality they may just be co-dependent. Or, someone may be self-deprecating yet by being that way they get all kinds of affirmations from those around them. There is always a self-need, it's only human, and unless it sneaks into a realm that is out of the normal, don't feel bad about not being perfectly perfect. Having a teachable heart will keep you from extremes, that's the beauty of humility.
Next time you feel trapped, robbed, insulted, demeaned or discouraged, remember that Jesus felt ALL of those things yet He still died for EVERYONE. And, the person hurling those insults or torturing you with silence was most likely a victim of the same medicine that they are giving out! We learn so much from what we see growing up but the best gift we can give ourselves is to not let injustices make us bitter, or repeat them for our children to see. For the offering of bitter water can never heal and the angry or taciturn will never draw the frightened near. We are all victims of fear and in search of a safe and loving place to go for respite or to just hide. (As I said earlier, if your situation is dangerous, then get out and get to a safe place, pray for the guidance and help of Christ Himself and your angels, your deliverance will come. A way will open up for you.) People are just vulnerable souls that have been wounded. They wander the earth either hiding or searching and it is only God's love that can give them the healing and joy that they so desperately need. Yet, they continue to go and seek it out from another imperfect soul and try to change that person into Jesus! It's not our job to change people, we are only called to love them.
The journey of life has percentages of good and bad times....life is a path that is sometimes bumpy or smooth, uphill or downhill, still or racing, but one constant is that there will be no constant except the Lord. Life is a roller coaster, people are only human and nothing will be perfect or finished as long as we have breath. When you're filled with anger, entitlement, disappointment....... pray for a grateful and content heart. If your partner is stubborn or broken, pray for God to give you patience while you intercede for them in prayer. And, don't forget to say a prayer for yourself too, because if one of your loved ones decides to be as rough on you as you have been on them or others, well, you're gonna need a lot of mercy, grace and love. Also, should you ever find yourself getting the change that you have been complaining about and it's not all that you expected, maybe you will realize that it's not a good idea to get ahead of God. Believe it or not, He does know better than you do what each heart needs and at what pace it needs it. Or, if you discover that their changing has now put you in a position where you have to start facing your own demons, well, that may not be a comfortable thing but it will be a good thing.
A Prayer for us all:
Change my paradigm Lord by starting a change inside of me first before I even think of demanding change from another! Fill me with Your goodness and make my trees blossom again so I can rest under the shade of their leaves and be nourished by their fruits. Show me that perfection is only "in You" and just an unachievable fantasy for mere humans to attain. Make me start acting like a flesh and blood person who sees everyone through You, rather than through my own lenses of judgement and personal needs. Help me to stop hurting those who are already hurting and teach me to be a safe place for them. Take my desires and change them from ones that condemn those I love, demanding that they change first, to ones that are grateful for the 90% of wonderful that you have blessed me with! Forgive me for harboring contempt toward someone that doesn't know how to change yet. You spoke from the cross and said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." I understand now why some won't change and how fear can keep us from finding freedom. You know the hearts of all people and I pray that You would help us all to be free and teach us how to love like You do. Our prisons holds more than just ourselves and I cry out to you that Your Light would shine on a pathway that will lead everyone out to a higher level of honesty and love. Comfort me in my sorrows and comfort those who I love in theirs. Be our Shepard so that we will have no wants except You, and instead of feeling lost, lead us to follow where You go so we will feel safe. Fill us with Your love and let that love cover our sins of apathy and soften our indignant hearts. Despising someone rather than having a righteous plea will never bring freedom......only love will. Help me Lord, to love unconditionally and set my needs down at the foot of the cross. Bring humility, clarity, wisdom and a willingness to grow to all who are afraid. I desire Lord, for the recalcitrant to put their anger away and let them allow those who care for them to love them . Humble us all so Your great love can flow. Heal what is sick, straighten what is crooked and light up what is dark. Teach us how to love each other by realizing that every one's prison is built of fear and it's only by becoming a safe place rather than a place of condemnation that all will find healing. Encourage us to be faithful in prayer, not only toward those who please us, but give us hearts that pray for our offenders and even our enemies. Make us more merciful and slower to judgement as if we were dealing with ourselves. Matthew 10:8 says, "Freely you have received (mercy), so freely give." And Lord.....who ever reads this and falls to their knees with a need.....take care of them as I know You will. Amen
Try thinking about how much worse your life could be rather than how much better you think it should be.
Hand your control over to God not to other people.
Trade your high expectations of perfection, for a life of freedom and joy.
Living a life of gratitude is what we should be striving for, not perfection. Only God is perfect.
If you're not audacious enough to tell the pilot of a major airline that you are going to fly the plane today, why then, do you assume that you can say that to the God of all creation everyday! God is in control.
John 8:32 The truth will set you free.
Truth is a two edged sword and it cuts both ways, so remember, if you are going to be truthful with someone then be prepared to also hear the truth.
Mercy is not getting what we deserve and grace is getting what we don't deserve. Do everything in love.
These are some thoughts I wrote when I saw some infuriating injustices, not only in my life but in the lives of some of my loved ones:
Rejection or unresolved issues and offences. One, like a sharp knife to the heart that never gets pulled out, the other a burning fire that never relents. They are the most stinging and heart-breaking of all the assaults because of their haunting and unrelenting presence. There's nothing quite like them, whether they clawed you at a young age or recently, the sting remains like an open wound that won't heal. It seems to infect you with a myriad of viruses, from anger (silent screaming), to weeping (deep sorrow), to seeping (short bursts of grief that have built up to the point where it spills over and out), to a dead feeling that melts over you. It can squeeze your being till it's dry of any joy and void of hope, and it's residue remains like a filthy film of despair who's cloud never moves on through your soul.
Any fool can reject you and cause a pain that will prove to possibly be manageable at some point in your life. But, rejection from someone you love and trust is a puncture wound that aches and throbs in your inner recesses. Like a small dose of poison, just enough to make you miserable but not enough to mercifully put you out of your misery. You just eek on and on through each day with your mind and gut wrenching from the infraction and the worse pain is caused by the loved ones refusal to admit, acknowledge or repent for the pain they caused or are causing. Yet, there is another unbearable suffering they can inflict and it's the empty comments of, "That's just the way I am.", "I don't know how to change." and "You're just crazy." There's also the silent, empty, distant stares that burn a hole in the floor because they will not look up until you storm out of the room angry or crying, which is exactly what they wanted! They, like a child, can divert and dodge the issue like a pro by creating an emotional dust storm by just pressing a few of the right buttons to set you off! Then, while you are all discombobulated they escape unscathed and once again the issue is never resolved but put off till the next round. They seem to go on their way unburdened, unaware or unwilling to offer repose. How can someone who claims they love you watch you suffer from their lack of effort? Surely, such offenses can crush you, but so can the constant, daily, moment by moment refusals to make things better or right......stubborn refusals that wear away at the victims spirit.
Where do you go when there is no way out? When each desperate attempt to save yourself or them only takes you deeper into the abyss. Your prayers seem bound by cob-webs and your pleas are covered with layers of dust. You kick and fight till you're exhausted and the waves of hopelessness are unrelenting, until you finally collapse and curl into a ball of despair (literally or emotionally). Then shame covers you because you feel demeaned and sometimes you wish you had a bruise just so you could show someone the pain you are feeling. Once that low has been achieved the only place you feel you have left to go is to spiral down the black hole and hope you can distance yourself from the reality. You become what they have made you rather than who you really are. All you want is for them to care enough about you that they would challenge themselves to grow and change in the areas that are causing so much pain. You just want them to care but their apathy has become their slothful partner and you have become "the enemy". They actually flip the mirror onto you and you begin to say things like, "Who could possibly love me in this condition!? "I must not be worth changing for." How can their lack of trying turn us into such sniveling wrecks that blame ourselves for the problem. Probably because it's easier to condemn ourselves than to argue with someone who will never see or admit what their doing is manipulative! We end up contemptuous, dispirited or live with waves of both crashing over us.
What do you do? Where can you go?
You take your battered soul and crawl up into the arms of Jesus, laying your weary head upon His breast and weep, again and again. That's what you do. You determine in your heart and mind that each time the sorrow comes......you go to God, not to the pit of doubt. It's not God's fault that someone won't change and it's not His fault that your heart is deflated with sorrow. Jesus is our only hope and no matter how many times you are overwrought with deep discouragement, He will always be there to comfort and console you. His faithfulness endures forever and although the tides of darkness role in, He walks upon the water to come to you with fresh love and hope to sustain you and keep you afloat. If your persecutor is evil, then Psalm 35:1 says, "Contend O Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me." (Note: Do not stay in a dangerous relationship but seek help and refuge.) Yet, if your source of heart-pain is coming from a loved one who won't change their emotionally immature, harmful or hurtful behavior and that refusal to address their own issues causes nothing but sorrow, Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:8).
Into the presence of God's Word is where we should not only run but it's where we should stay. Psalm 34:10b, "Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." He is an ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1), He rescues the poor from those to strong for them (Psalm 35:10b). All the pain that life can throw at you has no hope of destroying you if you dwell in His word. His love is all you need, because all you need will never be found in this world no matter where you look for it. Your peace and purpose lie not in others but in Christ. If someone deprives you of love then Praise God that we have "The" God of love, who longs to fill us to overflowing if only we would sit in His presence and absorb it. The only perfect love you will ever have is from Jesus, no human being can fill you to contentment. Psalm 36:5-9, "Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, Your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, Your justice like the great deep. O Lord, You preserve both man and beast. How priceless is Your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They feast on the abundance of Your house; You give them drink from the river of delights. For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light!
When times of sorrow run through your veins and drug you with hopelessness, journal those deep menacing thoughts and lay them out before God. He already knew what was in your heart but until we confess we cannot be set free. A psalm pours out lamentations from deep within someones soul to the Man of Sorrows (Jesus), yet it always ends with praise to our God of Hope! There is nothing too ugly that we cannot go to Him and release because His blood can wash us white as snow (Isaiah 1:18, Though your sins be as scarlet, they will be white as snow, says the Lord.") Those who cause pain can find cleansing from God as well as those of us that hold resentment toward them. We are all sinners and in need of forgiveness and love. My sorrow will raise it's sinister head time and again but each time I must remember not to entertain it but to take it to the throne of God and lay it down, deciding there and then to rather pick up His heavenly love instead. We all have a choice of what we are going to wallow in....sin or love, victim-hood or victorious living, contempt and despair or forgiveness and hope. Through this process of going to the throne of grace I actually began to see that I was not the only one hurting. When there are unresolved issues, there is more than just you who is wounded. Hurt people hurt people.
There are those who desire more in life and the freedom from getting resolution of their fears gives them the wings they need to live life more enjoyably. That resolution does not have to come from who you blame for your unhappiness, it should come from your relationship with God. Then, there are those who try to make it through life without having to deal with their fears and they remain imprisoned in a constant defense mode because they won't go to God and ask for healing. When both remain stubborn, selfish and too afraid to face their own demons, you will see a trail of dreams left by the wayside and everyone suffers. Every reminder of the "buried alive issues" brings one person to a state of resentment and the other to shame, but both will show anger toward each other rather than love. One person spends their life bringing those around them down to their level rather than rising to a higher standard by taking responsibility for their own fears. While the other slowly chips away at the relationship with blows of bitterness from their resentful heart, when really all they want is to walk side by side and have a little peace and joy! Until one of them decides to be kind and approachable, displaying a heart filled with love, they will never be free of the vicious cycle of blame and pride. So much can be gained by realizing that the only surrender is to God. There are no winners or losers just people that will be blessed.
We all feel as though the 10% times are never going to end or change, but they will when one of the people involved steps out of the craziness and lets God speak to them. The more we surrender to God the more freedom we will receive and freedom's only goal is to reach more lives. Apart from God's love, people are always "self" centered rather than "God" centered. By removing yourself from the throne of your life and allowing God to reign there, you will find that life will become more about loving others and caring about their needs than loving yourself and having to have your needs met. You may think that you put others first all the time but in truth we are getting something out of it. Someone may say that they are ALWAYS tending to someone else's needs but in actuality they may just be co-dependent. Or, someone may be self-deprecating yet by being that way they get all kinds of affirmations from those around them. There is always a self-need, it's only human, and unless it sneaks into a realm that is out of the normal, don't feel bad about not being perfectly perfect. Having a teachable heart will keep you from extremes, that's the beauty of humility.
Next time you feel trapped, robbed, insulted, demeaned or discouraged, remember that Jesus felt ALL of those things yet He still died for EVERYONE. And, the person hurling those insults or torturing you with silence was most likely a victim of the same medicine that they are giving out! We learn so much from what we see growing up but the best gift we can give ourselves is to not let injustices make us bitter, or repeat them for our children to see. For the offering of bitter water can never heal and the angry or taciturn will never draw the frightened near. We are all victims of fear and in search of a safe and loving place to go for respite or to just hide. (As I said earlier, if your situation is dangerous, then get out and get to a safe place, pray for the guidance and help of Christ Himself and your angels, your deliverance will come. A way will open up for you.) People are just vulnerable souls that have been wounded. They wander the earth either hiding or searching and it is only God's love that can give them the healing and joy that they so desperately need. Yet, they continue to go and seek it out from another imperfect soul and try to change that person into Jesus! It's not our job to change people, we are only called to love them.
The journey of life has percentages of good and bad times....life is a path that is sometimes bumpy or smooth, uphill or downhill, still or racing, but one constant is that there will be no constant except the Lord. Life is a roller coaster, people are only human and nothing will be perfect or finished as long as we have breath. When you're filled with anger, entitlement, disappointment....... pray for a grateful and content heart. If your partner is stubborn or broken, pray for God to give you patience while you intercede for them in prayer. And, don't forget to say a prayer for yourself too, because if one of your loved ones decides to be as rough on you as you have been on them or others, well, you're gonna need a lot of mercy, grace and love. Also, should you ever find yourself getting the change that you have been complaining about and it's not all that you expected, maybe you will realize that it's not a good idea to get ahead of God. Believe it or not, He does know better than you do what each heart needs and at what pace it needs it. Or, if you discover that their changing has now put you in a position where you have to start facing your own demons, well, that may not be a comfortable thing but it will be a good thing.
Our complaining and judging of others often shines an exposing light on them and allows us to hide in the shadows and escape the criticisms of our own behaviors. When the other person changes, we find that our flaws are now more visable, which then puts us in the position of having to grow up and change ourselves. If we will just stop and be honest, we will see that arguing is just a tactic that both people use so neither has to face their fears and faults! You see, if someone were to jump out of the argument and take responsibility then there would be no place for either one to hide anymore. Arguing is a protection strategy that humans use so that they won't have to face the truth and then be required to change. The truth stings really bad at first and then it presents the mature option of having to change! Not many are up for that type of vulnerability and challenge, it's just too scary, so the circle of anger and blaming continues.At some point in life we can either find all we need from God and share that fullness and mercy with others or we can remain in our bunker of fear, shooting at anyone who tries to get close. God is waiting for you to exercise your free will.................which will you choose?
A Prayer for us all:
Change my paradigm Lord by starting a change inside of me first before I even think of demanding change from another! Fill me with Your goodness and make my trees blossom again so I can rest under the shade of their leaves and be nourished by their fruits. Show me that perfection is only "in You" and just an unachievable fantasy for mere humans to attain. Make me start acting like a flesh and blood person who sees everyone through You, rather than through my own lenses of judgement and personal needs. Help me to stop hurting those who are already hurting and teach me to be a safe place for them. Take my desires and change them from ones that condemn those I love, demanding that they change first, to ones that are grateful for the 90% of wonderful that you have blessed me with! Forgive me for harboring contempt toward someone that doesn't know how to change yet. You spoke from the cross and said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." I understand now why some won't change and how fear can keep us from finding freedom. You know the hearts of all people and I pray that You would help us all to be free and teach us how to love like You do. Our prisons holds more than just ourselves and I cry out to you that Your Light would shine on a pathway that will lead everyone out to a higher level of honesty and love. Comfort me in my sorrows and comfort those who I love in theirs. Be our Shepard so that we will have no wants except You, and instead of feeling lost, lead us to follow where You go so we will feel safe. Fill us with Your love and let that love cover our sins of apathy and soften our indignant hearts. Despising someone rather than having a righteous plea will never bring freedom......only love will. Help me Lord, to love unconditionally and set my needs down at the foot of the cross. Bring humility, clarity, wisdom and a willingness to grow to all who are afraid. I desire Lord, for the recalcitrant to put their anger away and let them allow those who care for them to love them . Humble us all so Your great love can flow. Heal what is sick, straighten what is crooked and light up what is dark. Teach us how to love each other by realizing that every one's prison is built of fear and it's only by becoming a safe place rather than a place of condemnation that all will find healing. Encourage us to be faithful in prayer, not only toward those who please us, but give us hearts that pray for our offenders and even our enemies. Make us more merciful and slower to judgement as if we were dealing with ourselves. Matthew 10:8 says, "Freely you have received (mercy), so freely give." And Lord.....who ever reads this and falls to their knees with a need.....take care of them as I know You will. Amen
Try thinking about how much worse your life could be rather than how much better you think it should be.
Hand your control over to God not to other people.
Trade your high expectations of perfection, for a life of freedom and joy.
Living a life of gratitude is what we should be striving for, not perfection. Only God is perfect.
If you're not audacious enough to tell the pilot of a major airline that you are going to fly the plane today, why then, do you assume that you can say that to the God of all creation everyday! God is in control.
John 8:32 The truth will set you free.
Truth is a two edged sword and it cuts both ways, so remember, if you are going to be truthful with someone then be prepared to also hear the truth.
Mercy is not getting what we deserve and grace is getting what we don't deserve. Do everything in love.
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