My life has changed dramatically! We used to have financial security and freedom but not anymore. The bad economy has changed all that for us. Aside from details we are now living a much simpler life. That is actually fine with me and I'm enjoying the simplicity. It's the deep trenches that are no longer manageable for us. The cuts to the bone in every area of life, from me no longer having a car, to the days of isolation and loneliness along with my daily physical pain.
My faith has always gotten me through tough times. My husband used to say that I handled the major issues just fine but it was the little things that sent me reeling. I have been through many losses, injustices and times where I had no control and no freedom. Those times are the hardest for me, when you want to strike out at life because it's been so hard but you have no power, none. There are no options, no choices and all seems hopeless.
I have to admit that when all these pressures mount I get angry at God. As I lie there curled up in a ball of pain, completely isolated from friends and family I will frighteningly whisper toward God, "I think you're mean". Then, I burst into tears because I know He isn't! I know that people all over the world have situations much more severe than me! I know that satan is using the circumstance to get me to hate God and not trust Him!
This morning I read my devotional as I was feeling all that sadness and abandonment and this is what it said..." Trusting even when it appears you have been forsaken; praying when it seems your words are simply entering a vast expanse where no one hears and no voice answers; Believing that God's love is complete and that He is aware of your circumstances, even as your world seems to grind on as if setting it's own direction and not caring for life or moving one inch in response to your petitions; desiring only what God's hands have planned for you; waiting patiently while seemingly starving to death, with your only fear being that your faith might fail, "This, is the victory that has overcome the world", this is genuine faith indeed"! George MacDonald
If I had not reached out and sought God's voice either through my bible, a book, a devotional, a blog, a friend, etc... then, I would have spent my day in a dark depression! I always say, "It's better to do something small than nothing at all"! My choice to seek God rather than curl up and blame Him has changed my day! James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you". That's one of my favorite verses to meditate on! I just picture a small child crawling up on its parents bed and the parent instantly draws near to the child and embraces them!
Life is hard and it's going to get harder, it always does as we get older. All of this boils down to a simple yet profound picture...our Jesus on the cross! When we feel helpless, powerless, frustrated, fearful, alone... That is how He felt when His Father had to turn away from Him because He was carrying "our" sins! As we find ourselves in situations that are very uncomfortable for us it is of the utmost importance to never forget that we are not alone! Christ promises us that He would never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).
When we are confronted with bad circumstances we must remember only one thing... Reach for the rope! We can let things trip us up and fall down the well of despair OR we can reach for the rope that He ALWAYS provides and not fall! I had a choice this morning, to either slip into the darkness or reach out for His voice through it! Just as a plane takes off and treacherously flies through a dark storm of clouds, rain, thunder and lightning...there is nothing like that moment when it bursts through the clouds into that vast sky of blueness! Just as we know that the blue sky is above that storm we must confidently secure to our heart that same truth regarding Christ and our dark days.
So, we do not look at what we can see right now, the troubles all around us, but we look forward to the joys in heaven which we have not yet seen. The troubles will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever! 2 Cor 4:18
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