We're Only Human

I'm writing this from a very troubled place in my life right now. I'm not writing from the Pinnacle of joy but from the valley of despair. I signed up to do this 4 month cleanse and it goes down to a cellular level and cleans out your cells and then fills them with good things. However, it's a long process. The first two phases went great and I loved what I was eating and I had tons of energy. I was really feeling like I was finally out of my bed, accomplishing things and feeling creative again! I was feeling joyful. Then I started phase 3 which is a detox phase and it has taken me to a very difficult place. Having all of these toxins released from my cells and they're loose in my body which is what makes you not feel well. There are binders that you can take that pull these toxins out but sometimes there's a backup of toxins in your body and it affects you mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. My niece and I have been helping each other go through a hard time right now. She's been committing herself to taking these walks and just talking to the Lord. She records them and sends them to me everyday and I've been gleaning so much from that. As I was sitting here in bed feeling terrible, not only physically but all of this is stirring up a lot of emotional turmoil and old thoughts. You start to ask God all kinds of questions of why you have to go through something like this. I remembered a metaphor that I gleaned from the movie Shawshank Redemption. I think I wrote a blog post about this. Tim Robbins plays an innocent man who was convicted and inprisoned in a maximum security prison. He went through hell there but all along he was planning an escape which took years of planning and execution. He dug a tunnel behind a poster in his cell and that tunnel led to the main sewage pipe that let out of the prison. The day came when he did his escape and I can't remember exactly but there was probably about 250 yd of sewage pipe that he had to go through and when he emerged outside of the prison walls it was pouring rain. He raised his hands up and the rain was just washing the sewage off of him. 

That story has been something that I have shared with so many people. How many of us would have just given up and never started digging a tunnel? How many of us would have never even formulated a plan to escape and just curled up in our prison cell and lived a life of despair? This story reminds me of the story in Song of Solomon. Where the Shulamite maiden made herself very comfortable in a cave but her lover who represents God went up ahead and found a beautiful place, he would call down to her trying to encourage her to leave the cave, the comfort zone and to follow his voice up to freedom and sunshine! These two stories are so representative of where we want to stay and where God wants us to go. If we stay in our comfort zone we never change but if we go and follow God's voice we arrive to that sacred ground not as our old self but as a new creation in Christ. 

My niece told me today we need to keep our minds off of the why's and how's of the journeys that God calls us to and to just stay focused solely on the God who is calling us. 

I don't even want to admit this but I have backed out of the sewage tube and I have crawled back to my cell, my comfort zone and I'm basically curled up in a ball crying to God telling him just to leave me there. I can't go in that sewage tube again I'm not strong enough, I don't even feel committed enough. It's almost like in the movies when someone says, "Go and save yourself just leave me here." It really is a cry of desperation, self-pity, weariness, lack of faith etc. But you know what, we're only human. We may cry and kick and scream but the bottom line is he wants to rescue us. He wants to give us something better. He wants to build a character and a mindset and a determination in us that cannot be destroyed by the enemy. When we say it's a comfort zone we're not really happy there we're just not challenged there. We're in a place where there's no growth, no hope, no reward. I'm thinking right now how many people live their life like that everyday. But I'm not that kind of person. I may be kicking and crying right now but I'll go back into the sewage tube. I will become fully aware of my pity party and my immaturity right now. I'll realize which I already know that I don't want to stay here and I don't want to stay the way that I am. I want what he has a head for me. This is a rough one right now but I'm recommitting. I have to depend on him for every breath and every step. I have to lean on him and trust him and believe him. Yes, I am only human, but in Philippians 4:13, it says,  With Christ I can do all things! Luke 1:37, Nothing is impossible with God! Jeremiah 29:11-12, For I know the plans he has for me plans to prosper me and not to harm me. Plans to give me hope and a future. And if I call out to him he will hear me. John 4:4, Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. 2 Tim 1:7, God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. Isaiah 40:31,Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength, they will rise up on wings like eagles, they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not faint. 

We serve a God that empowers us, he stands with us when we're weary and gives us HIS strength. When we say, "Just leave me here and go save yourself." He looks at us with compassion and probably a little smirk as he holds back the words, "Why do you have so little faith my child." Then, he empowers his Holy Spirit within us to press on toward the goal that is set before us (Philippians 3:14). We need him and we just have to make the choice of whether we want to be immature children or wise adults.

How far are we willing to go to be where our Lord is? Yes, again, we are only human and we will have our tantrums, meltdowns, come aparts, we will doubt and overthink and spend more time in the why's than the what's. We will sit in our fears and allow the enemy to kick us around when all the while Jesus is standing there with his hand held out telling us," Come to me, you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

You see, no matter what we go through he wants us to share his yoke. When we go through the sewage tube he goes with us! We may not see him or feel him but he's there. He's there through all the sewage and he's there at the end to celebrate over us and wash us. Life is dirty and hard, but it's also a terrain that has highs and lows. Every Joy is a road to sorrow and every sorrow is a road to Joy. That's just life and to think otherwise leads only to disappointment. He knows that we're only human that's why he went to the cross. When he pleaded with the Father in The garden of Gethsemane to remove the cross experience, I think a lot of us forget that even though he sweat blood in his pleading, his prayer was not answered with a yes. When he carried the sins of the world on his shoulders he was separated from his Father for the first time and cried out, Father, why have you forsaken me? When the Bible says he did that for the joy that was set before him - we were that Joy! 

So, when we think we can't go through something, when we shimmy backwards into our prison cell, it's only because we have not spent time with him, basking in his promises and truths, recalling every blessing that he's ever done for us, having fellowship with a dear friend to help us straighten out our thoughts and feelings. We haven't sat quietly and let his peace soak into us. He is more than human, he is the God of the universe who came down to earth as a man to die for our sins. He understands our humaneness completely. He's patient with us, he comforts us while we struggle, and he gives us courage to walk through the fires. 

My favorite verse is from James 4:8, "Draw near to me and I will draw near to you." When we have to go through trials we have to recall his Word and in it we will find Jesus, who has all of these beautiful things to say to encourage us and remind us that he will never leave us or forsake us. He's in it with us, his Spirit is inside of us, the Father is cheering us on! Our God is for us! 

Let it Go

If the Son of God can go through what he went through prior to the cross and on the cross. Forgiving a bunch of sinners simply because he loves us. Can't we also forgive  and offer a sacrifice of self. Putting our needs aside and desiring instead the unity that Christ asks us as his children to have toward each other? I want to encourage us this Holy week to humble ourselves and go and make peace. Forgiving others as Christ has forgiven us. 

The Tin Man

Do you recall in the movie The wizard of Oz when they came upon the tin Man? His first words that he tried to utter were, "oil can". He had rusted up as he was working and a rainstorm moved in. Frozen in mid swing he stayed like that until some kind people came across and offered assistance.

Have you ever felt like you needed an anointing from God because some situation had Frozen you. Whether you feel unjustly treated, confused, frightened, perturbed... You feel Frozen physically but your mind is running in high gear struggling to make sense of it all and trying to manage all the emotions that are stirred up. 

I've had such a situation and I do feel physically Frozen. I've been unable to sleep because my mind won't stop. My emotions are hurt. I felt left in the dark and when I expressed my feelings I received a little reprimand. There's nothing worse than feeling unjustly treated and then dealing with a troubled mind. 

When a disturbance is caused in our peace, as a Christian we struggle because our natural instinct is to defend ourself. However, the Holy Spirit constantly prods us to forgive the offense, to be kind and compassionate to the offender. Even though we want to do the right thing, our mind has to go through a process of giving up the struggle for what we feel Justice would be and simply surrender and let it go. 

There is nothing more painful in life than to feel rejected or unjustly treated. It hurts and those feelings roll around causing a clenched jaw, sleepless nights, tears and pleas for peace. We become Frozen in that state until someone kind comes along and offers to oil us with compassion. But the final unfreezing comes through the anointing oil of the Holy Spirit. That is a penetrating oil that finds its way right to the heart. After our exhausting battle in the mind of what is fair and what is not, the Holy Spirit if we allow, will anoint us with the truth. The truth that though we were yet sinners Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) and we are to show the same Mercy to others that Christ showed to us (Matt 18:33, James 2:13-18).

Everything in us wants to scream, "But that's not fair!" Was it fair that Christ went to the cross for us and bore our sins upon his innocent body? We are called to set down our selfish pride and allow the Holy Spirit to soften us and build the character of Christ in us. Until we do that we will be frozen on the outside but tumultuous on the inside. Once we surrender our pride and take on the humility of Christ then peace will flood our mind and our hearts will be transformed. Our jaw will unclench, we will sleep sweet and our mind will have peace and rest. Forgiveness will have done its work of setting everyone in the situation free and to be able to move on in peace and joy. 

Mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:13b)

Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8)

Forgive, just as you have been forgiven.(Ephesians 4:32)

In closing, we have to take into consideration how our emotions can get the best of us and overreact. Most times it's not an offense it's just humans being humans. And we must always remember to turn the mirror upon ourselves to make sure that our own hearts are right. 

Shalom Shalom 

Forgive and you will be forgiven. (Matt 6:14-15)

Chin Up

I'm feeling a little downcast today. I'm trying to pray but sometimes I think of all the pain and suffering in the world and I get overwhelmed and I feel very sad. I was sitting here during my Bible time unable to concentrate and then I took my hand and put my fingers under my chin and gently lifted my head up. As I held it there I pictured it was the Lord gently encouraging me to look up at him. As I pictured him being there and completely representing unconditional love I heard a quiet voice in my spirit say, "We will get through everything together. My children are never alone." I felt the sadness leave me and a smile came upon my face. 

It always surprises me how a few minutes in his presence can change the entire paradigm. Sadness can turn to Joy, sorrow to comfort, hopelessness to Hope, discouragement to encouragement... 

I encourage you today to enter into his presence and not to leave until you have that moment with him. If you have to, put your fingers under your chin and lift your head up and picture him being the one doing that. Then, after you have your moment with the King of the Universe text someone or call someone, email them or write them a letter and share the beauty of Christ in an honest and simple way. That's what will change our world. 

Psalm 42:7-9, Deep calleth unto deep at the roar of thy water spout, thy waves and thy billows have swept over me.

Psalm 3:3, "But you, oh Lord, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who lifts my head high."

Living on the Fence

I lived on the fence most of my life. Even though I asked Christ into my life when I was 18 I never wanted to give up my earthly ways completely. Each year I would pull out my old journals and read excerpts out of them. I would think to myself, how can I still be dealing with the same problems 10 years 20 years 30, 40 years later! I spent time with the Lord whenever I could. More than most people did. I went to my Bible studies and attended church. I had Christian friends and was a part of prayer groups. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I was still struggling with the same old things. 

Surrender, repentance and obedience. That's why my life never changed. I lived a life that secretly held on to habits. I didn't want to repent because that meant that I had to give up those habits. The result of that mindset meant that I was not being obedient to God. I would often cry out to him and ask him why he wasn't healing me and why my life and my health were so bad. I'm embarrassed to say that it took me years and years to really make that simple choice to jump off the fence and give all of me to God. 

The Lord used me in mighty ways in other people's lives and it was exciting and wonderful to see him work through me. That's what's so amazing about him. He uses however much we will give him and then he will wait patiently for us to give him the rest. Even if it takes years. 

I didn't realize how beautiful a full blessing would be. As I have mentioned in other posts I have just recently had an Awakening. I surrendered all to God and ever since I did I am overflowing with hope, energy, Joy, wisdom and praise! God will never leave us. He will wait patiently while we try to do it our own way. He'll be with us as we struggle and cry and do most things the hard way. However, the moment we decide to give it all to him and surrender our control, there is a flood of joy and peace that rushes in immediately.

I encourage you today to get off the fence. I can tell you the truth about surrendering, it brings freedom. Satan wants to keep you on that fence because he owns it. You will vacillate in your mind and be tossed around by the waves of your emotions. You will be ineffective and unwell as long as you sit there. But I promise you that if you jump on God's side you will be astounded at the freedom and joy. 

By no strength of my own did all these wonderful new things happen to me. All I did was ask God with a willing heart to change me and he did. Every day new things are being revealed to me and we're working on things together. I love that about him. His patience and unconditional love cannot be matched. Once you crawl under his wing and understand how much he loves you and wants you to grow in him, there's no going back. 

Lord, whoever is reading this right now I pray that you would give them courage. I pray that you would free their mind and clean their heart through your Holy Spirit so that their life can begin to reflect their relationship with you. As they surrender and your beautiful fruit starts to grow in their life I pray that you would be glorified and you would use them to tell others about the goodness of God. Amen

Galatians 5:1 

• "For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery".

Indiana Jesus

I had a wonderful experience about a month ago where I surrendered everything to God. I gave him full access to me and I finally gave him permission to clean out some dark ugly closets in my life. It felt so good to finally do that. The main reason being that God does not condemn but he loves us. When we ask him into those dirty places he comes in with pure love and no judgment as he helps us clean up some messes. The last week or so some really bad feelings were stirred up in me. Those feelings triggered reactions in me of anger and judgment... I realized this morning that the enemy was spinning me around by the tail so I ran to Jesus and asked him to help me. I opened my Bible and my journal and the Lord revealed to me that there was a treasure chest buried behind the wall in the closet that I just let him clean out a month prior. I didn't even realize it was there. I gave him permission to pull it out and go through it with me. 

As he opened it up, sealed inside were deep resentments. Strongholds that were robbing me of my freedom in Christ! I immediately asked him to clean me out. All morning he spoke to me through scripture and through my journaling. In short, he revealed to me that I needed to forgive some people, I needed to pray for them that God would bless them with spiritual Awakening.

I prayed that he would give them freedom from the strongholds that they were suffering from. Next, I had to repent as I listed all those feelings. I had to pray for myself that I would have freedom from that self-bondage.  I asked that I would be robust with the Fruit of the Spirit and that the Lord would continue to heal me of my bruises that could be triggered to make me act ungodly. I asked him to give me his Spirit of love and peace. 

Don't be afraid to open yourself up to Jesus. He doesn't judge you or condemn you, he simply loves you and wants you to be free. Find the courage to ask him to do an extensive archaeological dig into your heart, mind, soul and spirit. Then, trust him to excavate the contaminants out of you and to create a rich fertile soil for his fruit to grow in your life. 

1st Timothy chapter 2, "He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone. I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them, intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them." 

Ephesians 4: 31-32, "get rid of all bitterness, anger and slander... Be kind, compassionate and forgiving.

Refining

Trials are crucibles where God forges our character to reflect his. He is in the fire with us. He never leaves us or forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:8). When we emerge, the strongholds will have burned off and we will find that each time we pass through the fire our freedom in Christ grows exponentially. 

Ref: Daniel 3, Malachi 3:2, Zechariah 13:9, 1 Peter 1:7

Balancing Prayer

Lord of all creation, balance me today. Balance my thoughts, my desires, my cravings. Balance my relationships and the choices that I make in every aspect of my life. Balance my responses, my reactions, my interactions. Lord, balance my heart today from where all things flow. Balance my mind, my body, and my soul. You, oh Lord, who holds the endless universe in perfect balance, the Lord who can suspend planets in mid air and who tells the sea where to stop, balance me today. Make my will your will, my desires your desires, remind me all day through your Holy Spirit that anything that comes into my life has to come through you first. Everything is a lesson to grow from. Let me not expect life to be easy but to know that it will be interesting, exciting, sometimes puzzling and even painful. Remind me that everything is a lesson to grow from. Open my eyes that most of the circumstances I pray for you to remove are places that you want me to be. Places that you want to change me in. Life is a journey of joys and sorrows but you walk with me every step of the way. Keep me mindful that every bad thing has goodness to be found in it if we will only look for you in it. Our purpose here is not to be comfortable but to be comforting, not to be stuffed with delicacies but to be content and share with others. Lord balance me today in every way. Encourage me to release the things I covet and to desire above all that you alone fill my wanting hands, heart and body. Make my day a prayer to you so I can connect to you every moment. Let not my pride think that I can do anything apart from you. Give me a constant hunger to be satisfied and filled only by you. Be my full portion. Above all, reveal and cement in my heart your deep and committed love that you have for me. Let me thirst for your Word and be quenched by it. Let no one or nothing rob me of my peace. Give me wisdom generously to stand in hope of all that you promise. You are My Redeemer, My Savior and the lover of my soul. Whatever shape each person's emptiness is fill it perfectly with all that you are. Whenever someone finds themself alone, may your presence comfort them. And Lord show the lost that you are the way. May your truth and light guide us today and give us hope. Make my desire be to glorify you in all that I do. Amen

Bruises

I often remind myself to act the way Jesus has taught me and not to react to the world. We head out into our day with the best intentions but then something happens and it triggers a reaction from us that we're not very proud of. I call those bruises. If we have unhealed emotional, mental or spiritual bruises then we are vulnerable to being more sensitive. When I was younger, I was a professional with a master's degree in hypersensitivity. My emotions ran my life and as I look back I sadly regret many things.

I learned a lesson many years ago that you can live your life with your emotions controlling you or God's Spirit controlling you. This topic can be very complicated and I could go in depth but I'm going to make this very simple. Today you can choose to get a journal and write down the things that trigger you (your bruises). Then, start reading your Bible and highlight the things that God says to you. Find scriptures that fight those triggers and write them down. They will be the balm that will heal those bruises. They will be the Sword of the Spirit that is part of the armor of God you should be putting on every day (Ephesians 6:13-17). People or Satan will not be able to send you into an emotional frenzy anymore as you grow in this practice.

Allow God's Word to heal those sensitive and wounded parts inside of you, and unsheath God's Word rather than verbalizing your emotions. Day by day you will see yourself maturing in your faith and standing with a posture of a warrior of God rather than a victim. Anger and pity are characteristics that children have. That's why they have tantrums. Our goal should be to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18). In 1st Corinthians 13:11 it says, "When I was a child I spoke like a child, I thought like a child and I reasoned like a child. When I became a grown up I put away childish ways." The more we avoid maturing the longer we and those around us suffer. It's best to jump in with both feet and just start. 

I know that is easy to say but hard to do. It took me years to mature but I will tell you what finally gave me the courage. We need to know two things for sure before we can trust God. The first is how unconditional, magnificent and precious his love is toward us. And second, we have to get rid of our distorted images of God. Find books on these topics. Google scriptures about God's love and write them down in your journal. Do whatever you have to do to keep growing because there is nothing worse than becoming stagnant and apathetic. Whining, having pity parties, lashing out at people, being hypersensitive, angry, combative.. Oh, how I could go on and on and rally behind you regarding this topic! But let's just start with you getting some paper or journal, a pen and some highlighters, post-it notes, your Bible (any Bible will do but I really like the, Life Application Study Bible.) You can find a special place in your house where you can set up or you can put it in a tote bag and take it with you to the park or to a coffee shop, do it by yourself or find a friend to do it with.. I personally like sitting in my bed. I also like to set a timer because you will realize that whether you set it for 5, 15 or 30 minutes it will never end up being enough time. The timer will go off and you will feel like you don't want to stop yet. Once you begin to see how God speaks back to you during your times of study you will want to return to it with enthusiasm. 

So let's get these bruises healed so that we can go out there in the world and instead of being hypersensitive and reactive we can do what we were created to do which is to share the good news and reflect the love of God!

Let's be actors for Christ and not reactors to this world.