Living on the Fence

I lived on the fence most of my life. Even though I asked Christ into my life when I was 18 I never wanted to give up my earthly ways completely. Each year I would pull out my old journals and read excerpts out of them. I would think to myself, how can I still be dealing with the same problems 10 years 20 years 30, 40 years later! I spent time with the Lord whenever I could. More than most people did. I went to my Bible studies and attended church. I had Christian friends and was a part of prayer groups. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I was still struggling with the same old things. 

Surrender, repentance and obedience. That's why my life never changed. I lived a life that secretly held on to habits. I didn't want to repent because that meant that I had to give up those habits. The result of that mindset meant that I was not being obedient to God. I would often cry out to him and ask him why he wasn't healing me and why my life and my health were so bad. I'm embarrassed to say that it took me years and years to really make that simple choice to jump off the fence and give all of me to God. 

The Lord used me in mighty ways in other people's lives and it was exciting and wonderful to see him work through me. That's what's so amazing about him. He uses however much we will give him and then he will wait patiently for us to give him the rest. Even if it takes years. 

I didn't realize how beautiful a full blessing would be. As I have mentioned in other posts I have just recently had an Awakening. I surrendered all to God and ever since I did I am overflowing with hope, energy, Joy, wisdom and praise! God will never leave us. He will wait patiently while we try to do it our own way. He'll be with us as we struggle and cry and do most things the hard way. However, the moment we decide to give it all to him and surrender our control, there is a flood of joy and peace that rushes in immediately.

I encourage you today to get off the fence. I can tell you the truth about surrendering, it brings freedom. Satan wants to keep you on that fence because he owns it. You will vacillate in your mind and be tossed around by the waves of your emotions. You will be ineffective and unwell as long as you sit there. But I promise you that if you jump on God's side you will be astounded at the freedom and joy. 

By no strength of my own did all these wonderful new things happen to me. All I did was ask God with a willing heart to change me and he did. Every day new things are being revealed to me and we're working on things together. I love that about him. His patience and unconditional love cannot be matched. Once you crawl under his wing and understand how much he loves you and wants you to grow in him, there's no going back. 

Lord, whoever is reading this right now I pray that you would give them courage. I pray that you would free their mind and clean their heart through your Holy Spirit so that their life can begin to reflect their relationship with you. As they surrender and your beautiful fruit starts to grow in their life I pray that you would be glorified and you would use them to tell others about the goodness of God. Amen

Galatians 5:1 

• "For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery".

Indiana Jesus

I had a wonderful experience about a month ago where I surrendered everything to God. I gave him full access to me and I finally gave him permission to clean out some dark ugly closets in my life. It felt so good to finally do that. The main reason being that God does not condemn but he loves us. When we ask him into those dirty places he comes in with pure love and no judgment as he helps us clean up some messes. The last week or so some really bad feelings were stirred up in me. Those feelings triggered reactions in me of anger and judgment... I realized this morning that the enemy was spinning me around by the tail so I ran to Jesus and asked him to help me. I opened my Bible and my journal and the Lord revealed to me that there was a treasure chest buried behind the wall in the closet that I just let him clean out a month prior. I didn't even realize it was there. I gave him permission to pull it out and go through it with me. 

As he opened it up, sealed inside were deep resentments. Strongholds that were robbing me of my freedom in Christ! I immediately asked him to clean me out. All morning he spoke to me through scripture and through my journaling. In short, he revealed to me that I needed to forgive some people, I needed to pray for them that God would bless them with spiritual Awakening.

I prayed that he would give them freedom from the strongholds that they were suffering from. Next, I had to repent as I listed all those feelings. I had to pray for myself that I would have freedom from that self-bondage.  I asked that I would be robust with the Fruit of the Spirit and that the Lord would continue to heal me of my bruises that could be triggered to make me act ungodly. I asked him to give me his Spirit of love and peace. 

Don't be afraid to open yourself up to Jesus. He doesn't judge you or condemn you, he simply loves you and wants you to be free. Find the courage to ask him to do an extensive archaeological dig into your heart, mind, soul and spirit. Then, trust him to excavate the contaminants out of you and to create a rich fertile soil for his fruit to grow in your life. 

1st Timothy chapter 2, "He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone. I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them, intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them." 

Ephesians 4: 31-32, "get rid of all bitterness, anger and slander... Be kind, compassionate and forgiving.

Refining

Trials are crucibles where God forges our character to reflect his. He is in the fire with us. He never leaves us or forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:8). When we emerge, the strongholds will have burned off and we will find that each time we pass through the fire our freedom in Christ grows exponentially. 

Ref: Daniel 3, Malachi 3:2, Zechariah 13:9, 1 Peter 1:7

Balancing Prayer

Lord of all creation, balance me today. Balance my thoughts, my desires, my cravings. Balance my relationships and the choices that I make in every aspect of my life. Balance my responses, my reactions, my interactions. Lord, balance my heart today from where all things flow. Balance my mind, my body, and my soul. You, oh Lord, who holds the endless universe in perfect balance, the Lord who can suspend planets in mid air and who tells the sea where to stop, balance me today. Make my will your will, my desires your desires, remind me all day through your Holy Spirit that anything that comes into my life has to come through you first. Everything is a lesson to grow from. Let me not expect life to be easy but to know that it will be interesting, exciting, sometimes puzzling and even painful. Remind me that everything is a lesson to grow from. Open my eyes that most of the circumstances I pray for you to remove are places that you want me to be. Places that you want to change me in. Life is a journey of joys and sorrows but you walk with me every step of the way. Keep me mindful that every bad thing has goodness to be found in it if we will only look for you in it. Our purpose here is not to be comfortable but to be comforting, not to be stuffed with delicacies but to be content and share with others. Lord balance me today in every way. Encourage me to release the things I covet and to desire above all that you alone fill my wanting hands, heart and body. Make my day a prayer to you so I can connect to you every moment. Let not my pride think that I can do anything apart from you. Give me a constant hunger to be satisfied and filled only by you. Be my full portion. Above all, reveal and cement in my heart your deep and committed love that you have for me. Let me thirst for your Word and be quenched by it. Let no one or nothing rob me of my peace. Give me wisdom generously to stand in hope of all that you promise. You are My Redeemer, My Savior and the lover of my soul. Whatever shape each person's emptiness is fill it perfectly with all that you are. Whenever someone finds themself alone, may your presence comfort them. And Lord show the lost that you are the way. May your truth and light guide us today and give us hope. Make my desire be to glorify you in all that I do. Amen

Bruises

I often remind myself to act the way Jesus has taught me and not to react to the world. We head out into our day with the best intentions but then something happens and it triggers a reaction from us that we're not very proud of. I call those bruises. If we have unhealed emotional, mental or spiritual bruises then we are vulnerable to being more sensitive. When I was younger, I was a professional with a master's degree in hypersensitivity. My emotions ran my life and as I look back I sadly regret many things.

I learned a lesson many years ago that you can live your life with your emotions controlling you or God's Spirit controlling you. This topic can be very complicated and I could go in depth but I'm going to make this very simple. Today you can choose to get a journal and write down the things that trigger you (your bruises). Then, start reading your Bible and highlight the things that God says to you. Find scriptures that fight those triggers and write them down. They will be the balm that will heal those bruises. They will be the Sword of the Spirit that is part of the armor of God you should be putting on every day (Ephesians 6:13-17). People or Satan will not be able to send you into an emotional frenzy anymore as you grow in this practice.

Allow God's Word to heal those sensitive and wounded parts inside of you, and unsheath God's Word rather than verbalizing your emotions. Day by day you will see yourself maturing in your faith and standing with a posture of a warrior of God rather than a victim. Anger and pity are characteristics that children have. That's why they have tantrums. Our goal should be to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18). In 1st Corinthians 13:11 it says, "When I was a child I spoke like a child, I thought like a child and I reasoned like a child. When I became a grown up I put away childish ways." The more we avoid maturing the longer we and those around us suffer. It's best to jump in with both feet and just start. 

I know that is easy to say but hard to do. It took me years to mature but I will tell you what finally gave me the courage. We need to know two things for sure before we can trust God. The first is how unconditional, magnificent and precious his love is toward us. And second, we have to get rid of our distorted images of God. Find books on these topics. Google scriptures about God's love and write them down in your journal. Do whatever you have to do to keep growing because there is nothing worse than becoming stagnant and apathetic. Whining, having pity parties, lashing out at people, being hypersensitive, angry, combative.. Oh, how I could go on and on and rally behind you regarding this topic! But let's just start with you getting some paper or journal, a pen and some highlighters, post-it notes, your Bible (any Bible will do but I really like the, Life Application Study Bible.) You can find a special place in your house where you can set up or you can put it in a tote bag and take it with you to the park or to a coffee shop, do it by yourself or find a friend to do it with.. I personally like sitting in my bed. I also like to set a timer because you will realize that whether you set it for 5, 15 or 30 minutes it will never end up being enough time. The timer will go off and you will feel like you don't want to stop yet. Once you begin to see how God speaks back to you during your times of study you will want to return to it with enthusiasm. 

So let's get these bruises healed so that we can go out there in the world and instead of being hypersensitive and reactive we can do what we were created to do which is to share the good news and reflect the love of God!

Let's be actors for Christ and not reactors to this world.