There is a Time for Every Season Under Heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

As the years have gathered my days, I've grown. I have come to a point in my life where I truly enjoy God! I let Him love me and I love Him back! I let Him comfort me and I then go and comfort others. I don't blame God any more but, I see Him in everything! The journey IS life, we will never arrive as long as we walk on this earth so I've learned to see each day, each moment as a chapter in my life's journal whether it be a great day or a dark season, God is in it with me.

I'm also aware that the enemy is always prowling about with one mission in mind, to rob me of my joy and to get me to doubt God. There are times when I lend ear to the whispered lies and I become ensnared. Not for the long lengths of time as when I was younger and thought God was responsible for pain and suffering. I've grown in the grace and knowledge of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I find myself falling much less and for shorter periods of time. That's because I read God's Word each day and I have a personal relationship with Him!

I have struggled with worthlessness because of the things that happened to me in my life. Growing and healing is a process and He is teaching me about many things that I look forward to sharing! This blog is a place for my thoughts to find their voice! I hope you enjoy visiting here just as if you were going to a friends house.

Jesusdeevah is a name I chose because it reminds me that I am set apart, special, precious and treasured by my Father in Heaven! So much that He sent His only beloved Son, Jesus, to suffer and die for me! Then, on the third day He rose from the grave and conquered sin and death so that I could be with Him forever! The lie is that I'm worthless, the truth is that I am worth dying for!

John 3:16,17... For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life! God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it but to save it!

*If any of these posts contain knowledge and wisdom that you have already gleaned then please consider sharing them by clicking on the M icon at the bottom of the post and emailing it to someone that may be struggling or hungry for this kind of message. Someone told me once, "It's not always what you're going to get from someone but sometimes it's about what someone may get from you!" Sharing is caring :)

These are my thoughts and stories....Please remember that a Blog goes backwards. The history builds up to the present posts. Check out the archives for background.

Folllow me on Instagram @Jesusdeevah for truth and inspiration or @ugobun to follow my art.

Thursday, June 12, 2025

We're Only Human

I'm writing this from a very troubled place in my life right now. I'm not writing from the Pinnacle of joy but from the valley of despair. I signed up to do this 4 month cleanse and it goes down to a cellular level and cleans out your cells and then fills them with good things. However, it's a long process. The first two phases went great and I loved what I was eating and I had tons of energy. I was really feeling like I was finally out of my bed, accomplishing things and feeling creative again! I was feeling joyful. Then I started phase 3 which is a detox phase and it has taken me to a very difficult place. Having all of these toxins released from my cells and they're loose in my body which is what makes you not feel well. There are binders that you can take that pull these toxins out but sometimes there's a backup of toxins in your body and it affects you mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. My niece and I have been helping each other go through a hard time right now. She's been committing herself to taking these walks and just talking to the Lord. She records them and sends them to me everyday and I've been gleaning so much from that. As I was sitting here in bed feeling terrible, not only physically but all of this is stirring up a lot of emotional turmoil and old thoughts. You start to ask God all kinds of questions of why you have to go through something like this. I remembered a metaphor that I gleaned from the movie Shawshank Redemption. I think I wrote a blog post about this. Tim Robbins plays an innocent man who was convicted and inprisoned in a maximum security prison. He went through hell there but all along he was planning an escape which took years of planning and execution. He dug a tunnel behind a poster in his cell and that tunnel led to the main sewage pipe that let out of the prison. The day came when he did his escape and I can't remember exactly but there was probably about 250 yd of sewage pipe that he had to go through and when he emerged outside of the prison walls it was pouring rain. He raised his hands up and the rain was just washing the sewage off of him. 
That story has been something that I have shared with so many people. How many of us would have just given up and never started digging a tunnel? How many of us would have never even formulated a plan to escape and just curled up in our prison cell and lived a life of despair? This story reminds me of the story in Song of Solomon. Where the Shulamite maiden made herself very comfortable in a cave but her lover who represents God went up ahead and found a beautiful place, he would call down to her trying to encourage her to leave the cave, the comfort zone and to follow his voice up to freedom and sunshine! These two stories are so representative of where we want to stay and where God wants us to go. If we stay in our comfort zone we never change but if we go and follow God's voice we arrive to that sacred ground not as our old self but as a new creation in Christ. 
My niece told me today we need to keep our minds off of the why's and how's of the journeys that God calls us to and to just stay focused solely on the God who is calling us. 
I don't even want to admit this but I have backed out of the sewage tube and I have crawled back to my cell, my comfort zone and I'm basically curled up in a ball crying to God telling him just to leave me there. I can't go in that sewage tube again I'm not strong enough, I don't even feel committed enough. It's almost like in the movies when someone says, "Go and save yourself just leave me here." It really is a cry of desperation, self-pity, weariness, lack of faith etc. But you know what, we're only human. We may cry and kick and scream but the bottom line is he wants to rescue us. He wants to give us something better. He wants to build a character and a mindset and a determination in us that cannot be destroyed by the enemy. When we say it's a comfort zone we're not really happy there we're just not challenged there. We're in a place where there's no growth, no hope, no reward. I'm thinking right now how many people live their life like that everyday. But I'm not that kind of person. I may be kicking and crying right now but I'll go back into the sewage tube. I will become fully aware of my pity party and my immaturity right now. I'll realize which I already know that I don't want to stay here and I don't want to stay the way that I am. I want what he has a head for me. This is a rough one right now but I'm recommitting. I have to depend on him for every breath and every step. I have to lean on him and trust him and believe him. Yes, I am only human, but in Philippians 4:13, it says,  With Christ I can do all things! Luke 1:37, Nothing is impossible with God! Jeremiah 29:11-12, For I know the plans he has for me plans to prosper me and not to harm me. Plans to give me hope and a future. And if I call out to him he will hear me. John 4:4, Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. 2 Tim 1:7, God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. Isaiah 40:31,Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength, they will rise up on wings like eagles, they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not faint. 
We serve a God that empowers us, he stands with us when we're weary and gives us HIS strength. When we say, "Just leave me here and go save yourself." He looks at us with compassion and probably a little smirk as he holds back the words, "Why do you have so little faith my child." Then, he empowers his Holy Spirit within us to press on toward the goal that is set before us (Philippians 3:14). We need him and we just have to make the choice of whether we want to be immature children or wise adults.
How far are we willing to go to be where our Lord is? Yes, again, we are only human and we will have our tantrums, meltdowns, come aparts, we will doubt and overthink and spend more time in the why's than the what's. We will sit in our fears and allow the enemy to kick us around when all the while Jesus is standing there with his hand held out telling us," Come to me, you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
You see, no matter what we go through he wants us to share his yoke. When we go through the sewage tube he goes with us! We may not see him or feel him but he's there. He's there through all the sewage and he's there at the end to celebrate over us and wash us. Life is dirty and hard, but it's also a terrain that has highs and lows. Every Joy is a road to sorrow and every sorrow is a road to Joy. That's just life and to think otherwise leads only to disappointment. He knows that we're only human that's why he went to the cross. When he pleaded with the Father in The garden of Gethsemane to remove the cross experience, I think a lot of us forget that even though he sweat blood in his pleading, his prayer was not answered with a yes. When he carried the sins of the world on his shoulders he was separated from his Father for the first time and cried out, Father, why have you forsaken me? When the Bible says he did that for the joy that was set before him - we were that Joy! 
So, when we think we can't go through something, when we shimmy backwards into our prison cell, it's only because we have not spent time with him, basking in his promises and truths, recalling every blessing that he's ever done for us, having fellowship with a dear friend to help us straighten out our thoughts and feelings. We haven't sat quietly and let his peace soak into us. He is more than human, he is the God of the universe who came down to earth as a man to die for our sins. He understands our humaneness completely. He's patient with us, he comforts us while we struggle, and he gives us courage to walk through the fires. 
My favorite verse is from James 4:8, "Draw near to me and I will draw near to you." When we have to go through trials we have to recall his Word and in it we will find Jesus, who has all of these beautiful things to say to encourage us and remind us that he will never leave us or forsake us. He's in it with us, his Spirit is inside of us, the Father is cheering us on! Our God is for us! 


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