There is a Time for Every Season Under Heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

As the years have gathered my days, I've grown. I have come to a point in my life where I truly enjoy God! I let Him love me and I love Him back! I let Him comfort me and I then go and comfort others. I don't blame God any more but, I see Him in everything! The journey IS life, we will never arrive as long as we walk on this earth so I've learned to see each day, each moment as a chapter in my life's journal whether it be a great day or a dark season, God is in it with me.

I'm also aware that the enemy is always prowling about with one mission in mind, to rob me of my joy and to get me to doubt God. There are times when I lend ear to the whispered lies and I become ensnared. Not for the long lengths of time as when I was younger and thought God was responsible for pain and suffering. I've grown in the grace and knowledge of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I find myself falling much less and for shorter periods of time. That's because I read God's Word each day and I have a personal relationship with Him!

I have struggled with worthlessness because of the things that happened to me in my life. Growing and healing is a process and He is teaching me about many things that I look forward to sharing! This blog is a place for my thoughts to find their voice! I hope you enjoy visiting here just as if you were going to a friends house.

Jesusdeevah is a name I chose because it reminds me that I am set apart, special, precious and treasured by my Father in Heaven! So much that He sent His only beloved Son, Jesus, to suffer and die for me! Then, on the third day He rose from the grave and conquered sin and death so that I could be with Him forever! The lie is that I'm worthless, the truth is that I am worth dying for!

John 3:16,17... For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life! God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it but to save it!

*If any of these posts contain knowledge and wisdom that you have already gleaned then please consider sharing them by clicking on the M icon at the bottom of the post and emailing it to someone that may be struggling or hungry for this kind of message. Someone told me once, "It's not always what you're going to get from someone but sometimes it's about what someone may get from you!" Sharing is caring :)

These are my thoughts and stories....Please remember that a Blog goes backwards. The history builds up to the present posts. Check out the archives for background.

Folllow me on Instagram @Jesusdeevah for truth and inspiration or @ugobun to follow my art.

Monday, May 27, 2024

Living with Pain

My life has been a psalm. Pouring out my distress, my pain, crying out to God for relief and mercy. You see, most days I'm lying in my deathbed. I have memories of good days but most of them I had to dull the pain. I didn't want people to see my anguish, my anger my shame. Only God and my sweet husband have seen my darkest struggles. Hours, days, months and years as I sunk deeper and deeper into my troubles. Self-hatred unworthiness and broken, not just by others but by my own misbeliefs. However, it was my life on my deathbed that led me into the precious arms of God. It held me there as God loved me, changed me and grew me! He changed me from the inside out. I used to blame him but now I praise him! What people call their deathbed, when their lives come to an end; I will call my life bed for finally I'll see around that bend.

                ~~~~~~

*Living with fibromyalgia and a myriad of scary and unexplained symptoms and illnesses is like dying a slow death. You are blessed if you have a handful of people that can understand. But God used every evil plan that the enemy had for my life and worked it out for my good! I went from a fearful and confused young lady and he has made me into a Psalm 31 woman who is clothed in strength and dignity and who laughs without fear of the future. I was never alone in all of my lonely pain. God never left me, never turned his back on me and did nothing but love me through it all. Many, many times I did not feel his presence but he promised me in his Word things that I held dear to my heart. I went from a woman who screamed "why? why? why?"  to God, to a woman who says, " I love you Lord and I trust you. You are worthy of my praise"  I don't understand what he's doing a lot of the time but I trust him. He told me to trust him in his Word and I trust him. Even in my days of severe pain my blessings far outweigh my problems. There's always more to be thankful for than there is to complain about if you just look intently for it. 

Resources: 

Telling yourself the truth. Book by Jim Backus and Marie Chapian

Having a Mary heart in a Martha world. Book by Joanna Weaver 

The Peace of heaven. Book by Dana Howard 

Christian cognitive behavioral therapy. Book
by Samaria M. Colbert






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