This post that I am about to write has been written before. During the winter, the Lord spoke to my heart through a very painful time and revealed this analogy to me. I sat all afternoon and poured my heart out into my writing and just upon completion...it somehow got erased! My old computer had a habit of doing that and in all honesty it sent me into a tailspin because it's like loosing a part of your soul. Imagine...the God of the Universe speaking through you and in the process you are emptied and exhausted of yourself and your own abilities. You sit almost in a daze as your fingers are furiously typing the words given to you by the Holy Spirit and you seem to be in some sort of zone. The structure of the piece takes on a balanced form and the message is clear and defined. The evidence of the experience lays there before you in writing, and POOF it's gone! I was so angry that I didn't write for months and the loss burned inside me at every thought of it.
Upon reflection of my reaction I now see that it was a lesson taught to me by The Most High. I let "self" come before "His will" and no matter what mask I tried to put on it...it was pride. I had to come to realize that if He calls me to write a thousand pieces and He desires for all of them to be erased, then blessed be His Name! (The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord. Job 1:21) I had to realize that I write for God and what He chooses to publish is His sovereign will. (Your will and not mine be done. Luke 22:42b) I am the pen in His hand...He gives me grace to write. So, here it goes...one more try at "The Glass Door"...
Have you ever tried to get through to someone but to no avail? How many times has someone tried to get through to you (even God) and you just would not lower your protective wall that you've raised up around you? I call it the glass door because as much as we want to think we have shut ourselves in or everyone else out, we are standing there vulnerable and exposed. Depending which side of the glass door you're on, you can either be the one requesting, pleading, or begging, or you are the one in a stubborn, prideful or angry stance. All relationships in life have this power struggle to some degree. One person is a pursuer and the other an avoidant. One an agitator and the other a co-dependant...the scenarios can go on and on. Needless to say, everyone, no matter what side, wants something. It may be that one wants more attention where the other may want to be left alone.
I've had glass door scenarios where I pounded and scratched at the door, wanting the person on the other side to see how they were hurting me. I begged them to just hear me but received only a dead stare in return. Yet, other examples were of someone wanting to get through to me but I didn't want to deal with the issue so I turned my face from them. The glass door is an unspoken force field that we use or get blocked by, it either prevents us or protects us from the pain of another person or ourselves. We can use it to throw a fit against or to sincerely pour out a plea to someone for grace. It is often used to block out someone or to punish them. Many times it is a prison that the pursuer waits in while the aviodant deflects.
Since losing my original blog post, I am shocked at the deeper insights that God has given me regarding this topic. My first draft was written from an angry heart and had a bend of fury and revenge entwined throughout it. God did not want His message delivered in a soiled package. It was never about me and how I saw it all. God used all those experiences, brought them to a battlefield in my life and His desire was for me to humble myself before Him. Letting Him shine His insight into the web of my conscience as He unraveled truths and wisdom. Where we get into trouble is when we think we have figured anything out on our own.
Every interaction in life is done from behind a glass door. You may think you have stepped out from behind it when you are lambasting someone, but trust me, none of us wants the pain that would be accompanied by a rebuttal! We live in fear of rejection, truth, pain or even sometimes getting what we THINK we want. I used to think the glass door was a curse but now in retrospect I can see it as a protective layer that God in His grace puts between us and what we can not handle yet. Our selfishness and entitlement often makes us believe the lie that, we know what is best for us. When in truth, God wants to use our situation rather than remove it.
I have stood at the glass door and demanded from others what they simply were not able to give at that time. God's will was for me to calm down and allow Him to unfold matters of the heart so that His perfect will could be done. Yet, I screamed, kicked, cried, begged and demanded, causing nothing but more pain for all involved. I was so self-involved that I lost sight of the suffering of others. As I kicked my situation around before God, He opened my eyes to be able to see that the same pain I was feeling was happening to many around me. What they needed from me, I was not equipped to give. It was in that time with God that He showed me that there was a divine process that needed to unfold. Just as I could not get what I needed when I wanted it, I also could not give what others needed from me at that time.
God's timing is perfect, yet, we enter each day with demands and a self-righteous entitlement that puts us instantly at a disadvantage. We wonder why God is letting us suffer and why things aren't changing at our pace. Relationships are strained and where peace should be, there is conflict and turmoil. All because we want to take the lead from God because we think we know what is best.
Isaiah 40: 27-31 says, "How can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding. He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; He offers strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait upon the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." God is not impotent to do miracles in your life. He is ALL POWERFUL, ALL KNOWING and ALL PRESENT in your life!
Stop trying to control everything. Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I AM God." Children of God, still yourselves, calm down, take a breath, focus on Him, lay it all down. Stop demanding from others what you yourselves are not even able to give. Trust in the Giver of all good things and you will find in that sweet silence, rest. For it is in our surrender that He blesses.
"I will sing to the Lord because He has been so good to me." Psalm 13:6
Upon reflection of my reaction I now see that it was a lesson taught to me by The Most High. I let "self" come before "His will" and no matter what mask I tried to put on it...it was pride. I had to come to realize that if He calls me to write a thousand pieces and He desires for all of them to be erased, then blessed be His Name! (The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord. Job 1:21) I had to realize that I write for God and what He chooses to publish is His sovereign will. (Your will and not mine be done. Luke 22:42b) I am the pen in His hand...He gives me grace to write. So, here it goes...one more try at "The Glass Door"...
Have you ever tried to get through to someone but to no avail? How many times has someone tried to get through to you (even God) and you just would not lower your protective wall that you've raised up around you? I call it the glass door because as much as we want to think we have shut ourselves in or everyone else out, we are standing there vulnerable and exposed. Depending which side of the glass door you're on, you can either be the one requesting, pleading, or begging, or you are the one in a stubborn, prideful or angry stance. All relationships in life have this power struggle to some degree. One person is a pursuer and the other an avoidant. One an agitator and the other a co-dependant...the scenarios can go on and on. Needless to say, everyone, no matter what side, wants something. It may be that one wants more attention where the other may want to be left alone.
I've had glass door scenarios where I pounded and scratched at the door, wanting the person on the other side to see how they were hurting me. I begged them to just hear me but received only a dead stare in return. Yet, other examples were of someone wanting to get through to me but I didn't want to deal with the issue so I turned my face from them. The glass door is an unspoken force field that we use or get blocked by, it either prevents us or protects us from the pain of another person or ourselves. We can use it to throw a fit against or to sincerely pour out a plea to someone for grace. It is often used to block out someone or to punish them. Many times it is a prison that the pursuer waits in while the aviodant deflects.
Since losing my original blog post, I am shocked at the deeper insights that God has given me regarding this topic. My first draft was written from an angry heart and had a bend of fury and revenge entwined throughout it. God did not want His message delivered in a soiled package. It was never about me and how I saw it all. God used all those experiences, brought them to a battlefield in my life and His desire was for me to humble myself before Him. Letting Him shine His insight into the web of my conscience as He unraveled truths and wisdom. Where we get into trouble is when we think we have figured anything out on our own.
Every interaction in life is done from behind a glass door. You may think you have stepped out from behind it when you are lambasting someone, but trust me, none of us wants the pain that would be accompanied by a rebuttal! We live in fear of rejection, truth, pain or even sometimes getting what we THINK we want. I used to think the glass door was a curse but now in retrospect I can see it as a protective layer that God in His grace puts between us and what we can not handle yet. Our selfishness and entitlement often makes us believe the lie that, we know what is best for us. When in truth, God wants to use our situation rather than remove it.
I have stood at the glass door and demanded from others what they simply were not able to give at that time. God's will was for me to calm down and allow Him to unfold matters of the heart so that His perfect will could be done. Yet, I screamed, kicked, cried, begged and demanded, causing nothing but more pain for all involved. I was so self-involved that I lost sight of the suffering of others. As I kicked my situation around before God, He opened my eyes to be able to see that the same pain I was feeling was happening to many around me. What they needed from me, I was not equipped to give. It was in that time with God that He showed me that there was a divine process that needed to unfold. Just as I could not get what I needed when I wanted it, I also could not give what others needed from me at that time.
God's timing is perfect, yet, we enter each day with demands and a self-righteous entitlement that puts us instantly at a disadvantage. We wonder why God is letting us suffer and why things aren't changing at our pace. Relationships are strained and where peace should be, there is conflict and turmoil. All because we want to take the lead from God because we think we know what is best.
Isaiah 40: 27-31 says, "How can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding. He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; He offers strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait upon the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." God is not impotent to do miracles in your life. He is ALL POWERFUL, ALL KNOWING and ALL PRESENT in your life!
Stop trying to control everything. Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I AM God." Children of God, still yourselves, calm down, take a breath, focus on Him, lay it all down. Stop demanding from others what you yourselves are not even able to give. Trust in the Giver of all good things and you will find in that sweet silence, rest. For it is in our surrender that He blesses.
"I will sing to the Lord because He has been so good to me." Psalm 13:6
No comments:
Post a Comment