For years I have struggled with depression but through years of seeking God within it, I have found that He is ALWAYS right there to guide me out. The other day as I felt it creeping in I said to God, "I just don't get you." There were a few things on my mind that were perplexing me but I made the decision to seek Him rather than sink. I opened my bible to Ecclesiastes 11:4,5 and read, "If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done. God's ways are as hard to discern as the pathways of the wind, and as mysterious as a tiny baby being formed in his mother's womb."
He ministered to my heart and I began to see that I didn't get Him for two reasons, one that His ways are not my ways (Isaiah 55:8,9) and I'm not meant to get Him. TWO, I was looking at Him through eyes of entitlement rather than eyes of a child. I will never understand God but I can with 100% certainty know that He is in control. I understand now that I have to stop throwing myself on the floor (figuratively)in a fit of "It's not fair!" and start running into His arms for ALL I need!
After I told God that I didn't get Him, I remember the Holy Spirit whispering to me, "Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you." That CHOICE to turn to Him rather than to my darkness changed my whole day! I was hit by the revelation that I am not created to be able to function on my own. God created us to need Him and I saw with my heart's eyes that my struggle with depression is not a curse that He punishes me with but a gift that He has given me so that I will always curl up at His feet to let Him love me! My degrees of suffering were deep because I entertained lies in my mind rather than truth. Truth does set us free. If we turn down the volume of our own inner dialog and the lies of the devil and grasp God's Word at the beginning of the episode, then, we can avoid falling into the abyss.
I'm done blaming God and others for not meeting all my needs. As I spent time with my Lord this week He spoke to my heart about many things. Each circumstance brought lessons and I grew above my depression. There was a special gift within His presence that opened my eyes to a new perspective. I can freak out because of my inabilities or I can rest in His calmness because of His abilities. Satan is a dominating force in this world BUT HE IS NOT A DOMINATING FORCE IN MY LIFE! I can allow him to grab my tail and whip me around or I can rip it from him and proclaim, "I am NOT your property! I am the property and possession of Jesus Christ!" Making that proclamation stops the descent into darkness so in turn keeps us in the light of Christ.
Is God readily available to yank us from the storm as He did for Peter (Matthew 14:29...)? YES! Do we laser focus on calling out to Him first when we are sinking or do we get overwhelmed by the crashing waves and gasps for air? More than not we let the circumstances draw us down like water down a drain, spinning us into a vortex of "WHYS". Let us change those "Why Lords?" into "What Lords?" by IMMEDIATELY drawing near to Him when we sense our first need. Apart from His Word (the bible), His Presence (prayer & meditation) and Christian fellowship (Church, study groups...) we will sink. Like Peter, thrust your arm up and call out, Lord, help me! and He will draw you near to Him. Just like you have to drive to the store to get bread, so we must go to Him, The Bread of Life.
Romans 5:5, ...and hope never disappoints, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Never give up, for the lesson is in the storm and it will not only bless you, but others also. You have a purpose, you are precious in His sight, you are not alone, nothing can separate you from the love of God! Find the voice of truth and dwell there till He says it's safe to leave. Upon leaving, don't leave without Him!
Book recommendation:
Hinds Feet on High Places. Hannah Hurnard
Telling Yourself the Truth. Backus and Chapian
There's Hope for the Hurting. Robert Lee
Enjoying God. S.J. Hill
Through the Wilderness of Loneliness. Tim Hansel
WHERE THERE IS GOD, THERE IS HOPE.
I have developed a systematic approach to monitoring my experiences with depression. I ask myself 1) Did I seek God sooner? 2) Did I reach out to a trusted confidant? Was the bout shorter than it used to be? Was the bout less intense? If I answer yes to the first two questions then the answer to the last two is always yes. That is an excellent result! God is good.
Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1
Read the Psalms for hope and love.
He ministered to my heart and I began to see that I didn't get Him for two reasons, one that His ways are not my ways (Isaiah 55:8,9) and I'm not meant to get Him. TWO, I was looking at Him through eyes of entitlement rather than eyes of a child. I will never understand God but I can with 100% certainty know that He is in control. I understand now that I have to stop throwing myself on the floor (figuratively)in a fit of "It's not fair!" and start running into His arms for ALL I need!
After I told God that I didn't get Him, I remember the Holy Spirit whispering to me, "Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you." That CHOICE to turn to Him rather than to my darkness changed my whole day! I was hit by the revelation that I am not created to be able to function on my own. God created us to need Him and I saw with my heart's eyes that my struggle with depression is not a curse that He punishes me with but a gift that He has given me so that I will always curl up at His feet to let Him love me! My degrees of suffering were deep because I entertained lies in my mind rather than truth. Truth does set us free. If we turn down the volume of our own inner dialog and the lies of the devil and grasp God's Word at the beginning of the episode, then, we can avoid falling into the abyss.
I'm done blaming God and others for not meeting all my needs. As I spent time with my Lord this week He spoke to my heart about many things. Each circumstance brought lessons and I grew above my depression. There was a special gift within His presence that opened my eyes to a new perspective. I can freak out because of my inabilities or I can rest in His calmness because of His abilities. Satan is a dominating force in this world BUT HE IS NOT A DOMINATING FORCE IN MY LIFE! I can allow him to grab my tail and whip me around or I can rip it from him and proclaim, "I am NOT your property! I am the property and possession of Jesus Christ!" Making that proclamation stops the descent into darkness so in turn keeps us in the light of Christ.
Is God readily available to yank us from the storm as He did for Peter (Matthew 14:29...)? YES! Do we laser focus on calling out to Him first when we are sinking or do we get overwhelmed by the crashing waves and gasps for air? More than not we let the circumstances draw us down like water down a drain, spinning us into a vortex of "WHYS". Let us change those "Why Lords?" into "What Lords?" by IMMEDIATELY drawing near to Him when we sense our first need. Apart from His Word (the bible), His Presence (prayer & meditation) and Christian fellowship (Church, study groups...) we will sink. Like Peter, thrust your arm up and call out, Lord, help me! and He will draw you near to Him. Just like you have to drive to the store to get bread, so we must go to Him, The Bread of Life.
Romans 5:5, ...and hope never disappoints, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Never give up, for the lesson is in the storm and it will not only bless you, but others also. You have a purpose, you are precious in His sight, you are not alone, nothing can separate you from the love of God! Find the voice of truth and dwell there till He says it's safe to leave. Upon leaving, don't leave without Him!
Book recommendation:
Hinds Feet on High Places. Hannah Hurnard
Telling Yourself the Truth. Backus and Chapian
There's Hope for the Hurting. Robert Lee
Enjoying God. S.J. Hill
Through the Wilderness of Loneliness. Tim Hansel
WHERE THERE IS GOD, THERE IS HOPE.
I have developed a systematic approach to monitoring my experiences with depression. I ask myself 1) Did I seek God sooner? 2) Did I reach out to a trusted confidant? Was the bout shorter than it used to be? Was the bout less intense? If I answer yes to the first two questions then the answer to the last two is always yes. That is an excellent result! God is good.
Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1
Read the Psalms for hope and love.
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