"With acceptance comes relief, and relief allows the body, mind and soul to heal." D.A.H.
Shackled and tied to my defiant attitude, I pulled at the rusty metal bounds. Twisting and writhing my angry thoughts till my mind passed-out from exhaustion and weariness. Unconsciousness was my only peace. If I try to pull myself together then everyone will assume that all is well and my martyrdom will float away as swiftly as it came. Things are happening in my life and I have no control. There is no way out and no hope. I hate it, I hate it all and I want it to end now!
That's how I felt for a long time. The somewhat carefree days of innocence were hidden away now and reality came with it's teeth showing. Whether my circumstances or yours, it doesn't matter. Hopelessness is a dark and oppressive state where isolation and crushing loneliness bring pain in many forms. Few understand and our worse enemy is not the people who come to cheer us up, but ourselves. We build a nest of pride, stubbornness and defiance and each day we fluff our bed till the change we want comes. I crossed my arms, planted my feet and basically told everyone including God, that I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it now! I was not happy and I didn't like it! Enough has happened and I refuse any more!
Needless to say, the clouds did not open up with Jesus himself coming down. My visions of Him coming to remove all the discomforts of my life never happened. And, no one in my life had any power to change my circumstances. So, I added all that rejection to my stubborn stance and dug in even deeper! But....still nothing. No angels, no Nicholas Cage in a limo, no army of supporters with "We're here to save Dorothy" signs....just me and my bitterness and it was eating me alive. My health crumbled, my attitude was not suitable for company, I retreated from church and developed a negative inner dialog. God allowed me to remain there until I FINALLY got sick of myself! So much so, that I became worse than the original circumstance!
Just as God stayed with me even while I acted like a complete jerk, He was right there with me when I surrendered. Brothers and sisters, even when life is horrible...God is good! The blessings, lessons, endurance, strength, patience, courage and love that I emerged from this with are jewels in my crown that I will flaunt to His glory! My prayer is that our first instinct would always be to crawl to Him first and not to our prickly nest. My selfishness made me waste too much precious time! Acceptance of my situation has already begun its good work...my body is healing, my mind, spirit and soul are rejuvenated and I'm a part of life again!
Praise God for the light and the darkness, for even darkness is light to Him!
It's not how much you do, but with how much love you do it with. Mother Theresa
God likes it when we work for Him, but He loves it when we sing while doing it!
Surrender to God, not to the enemy!
Shackled and tied to my defiant attitude, I pulled at the rusty metal bounds. Twisting and writhing my angry thoughts till my mind passed-out from exhaustion and weariness. Unconsciousness was my only peace. If I try to pull myself together then everyone will assume that all is well and my martyrdom will float away as swiftly as it came. Things are happening in my life and I have no control. There is no way out and no hope. I hate it, I hate it all and I want it to end now!
That's how I felt for a long time. The somewhat carefree days of innocence were hidden away now and reality came with it's teeth showing. Whether my circumstances or yours, it doesn't matter. Hopelessness is a dark and oppressive state where isolation and crushing loneliness bring pain in many forms. Few understand and our worse enemy is not the people who come to cheer us up, but ourselves. We build a nest of pride, stubbornness and defiance and each day we fluff our bed till the change we want comes. I crossed my arms, planted my feet and basically told everyone including God, that I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it now! I was not happy and I didn't like it! Enough has happened and I refuse any more!
Needless to say, the clouds did not open up with Jesus himself coming down. My visions of Him coming to remove all the discomforts of my life never happened. And, no one in my life had any power to change my circumstances. So, I added all that rejection to my stubborn stance and dug in even deeper! But....still nothing. No angels, no Nicholas Cage in a limo, no army of supporters with "We're here to save Dorothy" signs....just me and my bitterness and it was eating me alive. My health crumbled, my attitude was not suitable for company, I retreated from church and developed a negative inner dialog. God allowed me to remain there until I FINALLY got sick of myself! So much so, that I became worse than the original circumstance!
Just as God stayed with me even while I acted like a complete jerk, He was right there with me when I surrendered. Brothers and sisters, even when life is horrible...God is good! The blessings, lessons, endurance, strength, patience, courage and love that I emerged from this with are jewels in my crown that I will flaunt to His glory! My prayer is that our first instinct would always be to crawl to Him first and not to our prickly nest. My selfishness made me waste too much precious time! Acceptance of my situation has already begun its good work...my body is healing, my mind, spirit and soul are rejuvenated and I'm a part of life again!
Praise God for the light and the darkness, for even darkness is light to Him!
It's not how much you do, but with how much love you do it with. Mother Theresa
God likes it when we work for Him, but He loves it when we sing while doing it!
Surrender to God, not to the enemy!
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