1 Timothy 1:5 ...love which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
I have this pretty little side table that I use next to my sewing machine. It's a perfect light bone color with a high gloss finish that makes it look so elegant. One day a bottle of mending glue must have tipped over that was stored toward the back. Well, I didn't see or notice it for a week or two and during that time the glue had eaten its way through the varnish and the paint, leaving a gaping scar on the surface. Although the eye-sore was behind other things and could be hidden by my pin-cushion, it remained a scar upon what was supposed to be a beautiful and functional piece that was intended to serve a purpose.
The opening scripture reminded me of that table and the incident as I compared it to the scars of shame and guilt that I had spilled on my life. I saw God's loving hand of restoration through closing my eyes and allowing memories of my father's work to enter my mind and how he so meticulously restored fine furniture with a skilled and loving hand. Scars are not easy to hide, whether they be on a persons heart, skin or an inanimate object. Gashes in the mind about traumas, mistakes or even shameful intentions fulfilled, can eat away at our thoughts and consciences until we have an emotional wound that is infected and in need of desperate attention. Our minds can feel like a pin-ball machine with metal balls of shame and guilt just banging around in our consciousness causing more bruising and torment until we feel a sense of relentless hopelessness.
As I sat with my eyes closed, picturing my earthly father going through all the tedious stages of restoration, I almost immediately drew the parallel of Jesus, the carpenter and Savior, and Him leaning over us, dressing our wounds and then refinishing us so that His love showed in us rather than our shame and brokenness. Then, I realized why my earthly father had so much success at restoring much beloved yet scarred furniture and it was so clear that it was because the furniture was submissive to him. It didn't fight him or fear him, it didn't run from him or hide from him. It rested still and confident under his skillful and loving hand. Yet, when Father God wants to heal our wounds and restore us to what He intended our lives to be, we run fearing His intentions.
Children of God, we are exhausted from hiding these gashes and they render us ineffective. It isn't until we pray for the courage to lie down before God and let Him apply His skilled and loving hands to our wounds and scars that we will truly be able to have His light and love shine through us into the lives of others. How can we ask others to be honest and courageous if we are hiding from our Master's hand ourselves. I am still in the process of learning to confess and repent for the things that still torment my mind, but I have developed a habit now that is such a blessing.....When a thought comes into your head and you feel shame or guilt, confess it immediately, ask for forgiveness and then place it at the foot of His throne. Every time you find yourself with it after that means you stole it from God because you desire that punishment over His love! Be very aware to be honest with yourself about this. Then, make yourself take it back to His feet, lay it down again and learn to say, "Thank you Lord, for forgiving me of this." We must stop asking for forgiveness for the same sin over and over. That is not what God wants for you! He has no desire to see you in constant torment over a sin after you have repented of it and have asked forgiveness for it. Practice saying, "Thank you for forgiving me, now let's move on."
The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Philippians wrote in chapter 3, verses 13b-14, "But one thing I do; Forgetting what is behind (the past) and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." When our thoughts take us to self-pity and regret which leads to sorrow and then depression...we must call to mind God's Word to save us from the mire that intends to pull us down. Philippians 4:4-8 is one of my favorites, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy....think about such things."
Do what you have to do in accordance with God's will to go less and less to the miry pit of despair. My feeling is this, if you go there less and less and for shorter periods of time each time, then you are growing and that is a good thing! My natural tendency is to fall into despair so I've finally come to the fact that God wants to use me to encourage others who are like me to press on. This is not something God wants me to get over, but get through, and when we can finally realize that, we can see more clearly that He is calling us to help others out of the darkness. I used to think that by me being in the darkness meant that God wasn't with me or He left me or was punishing me, but those are lies! No matter what things "feel" like, the truth is that if you invited Christ into your heart, then, He "is" there and He will never leave! Wherever you are, He is there, in it with you and you can bet on that, although it may not feel like it, there is purpose in it.
Let the Master refine and renew you to fit His holy purposes. No one makes something for no reason, there is a purpose for every created thing. Whatever you are struggling with, God has not left you and He will give you all that you need to get through. I'm not saying it will be easy but it will be worth it. Beloved, if we will still ourselves and submit to the loving and wise hand of our God and Savior, He will heal your wounds, take what is scarlet and make it white as snow, give back to you the years the locust have taken and remove your sins as far as the east is from the west. He promises that the work He began in you, He will complete.
It is only the foolish child, who will not surrender to The One who wants to heal, that goes on in pain.
P.S. I have had it on my heart to minister to our wounded soldiers that are struggling with despair and suicidal thoughts. If you know of any one who is struggling with this or someone who may know someone who is, please forward this to them. I have found that we have two choices, to fall back into the darkness or press on toward the light. The numbers of suicides by our lost children and teens and our soldiers who are trying to readjust is staggering. Pray that God would reveal one of these people to you and then be an encouragement to them.
I have this pretty little side table that I use next to my sewing machine. It's a perfect light bone color with a high gloss finish that makes it look so elegant. One day a bottle of mending glue must have tipped over that was stored toward the back. Well, I didn't see or notice it for a week or two and during that time the glue had eaten its way through the varnish and the paint, leaving a gaping scar on the surface. Although the eye-sore was behind other things and could be hidden by my pin-cushion, it remained a scar upon what was supposed to be a beautiful and functional piece that was intended to serve a purpose.
The opening scripture reminded me of that table and the incident as I compared it to the scars of shame and guilt that I had spilled on my life. I saw God's loving hand of restoration through closing my eyes and allowing memories of my father's work to enter my mind and how he so meticulously restored fine furniture with a skilled and loving hand. Scars are not easy to hide, whether they be on a persons heart, skin or an inanimate object. Gashes in the mind about traumas, mistakes or even shameful intentions fulfilled, can eat away at our thoughts and consciences until we have an emotional wound that is infected and in need of desperate attention. Our minds can feel like a pin-ball machine with metal balls of shame and guilt just banging around in our consciousness causing more bruising and torment until we feel a sense of relentless hopelessness.
As I sat with my eyes closed, picturing my earthly father going through all the tedious stages of restoration, I almost immediately drew the parallel of Jesus, the carpenter and Savior, and Him leaning over us, dressing our wounds and then refinishing us so that His love showed in us rather than our shame and brokenness. Then, I realized why my earthly father had so much success at restoring much beloved yet scarred furniture and it was so clear that it was because the furniture was submissive to him. It didn't fight him or fear him, it didn't run from him or hide from him. It rested still and confident under his skillful and loving hand. Yet, when Father God wants to heal our wounds and restore us to what He intended our lives to be, we run fearing His intentions.
Children of God, we are exhausted from hiding these gashes and they render us ineffective. It isn't until we pray for the courage to lie down before God and let Him apply His skilled and loving hands to our wounds and scars that we will truly be able to have His light and love shine through us into the lives of others. How can we ask others to be honest and courageous if we are hiding from our Master's hand ourselves. I am still in the process of learning to confess and repent for the things that still torment my mind, but I have developed a habit now that is such a blessing.....When a thought comes into your head and you feel shame or guilt, confess it immediately, ask for forgiveness and then place it at the foot of His throne. Every time you find yourself with it after that means you stole it from God because you desire that punishment over His love! Be very aware to be honest with yourself about this. Then, make yourself take it back to His feet, lay it down again and learn to say, "Thank you Lord, for forgiving me of this." We must stop asking for forgiveness for the same sin over and over. That is not what God wants for you! He has no desire to see you in constant torment over a sin after you have repented of it and have asked forgiveness for it. Practice saying, "Thank you for forgiving me, now let's move on."
The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Philippians wrote in chapter 3, verses 13b-14, "But one thing I do; Forgetting what is behind (the past) and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." When our thoughts take us to self-pity and regret which leads to sorrow and then depression...we must call to mind God's Word to save us from the mire that intends to pull us down. Philippians 4:4-8 is one of my favorites, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy....think about such things."
Do what you have to do in accordance with God's will to go less and less to the miry pit of despair. My feeling is this, if you go there less and less and for shorter periods of time each time, then you are growing and that is a good thing! My natural tendency is to fall into despair so I've finally come to the fact that God wants to use me to encourage others who are like me to press on. This is not something God wants me to get over, but get through, and when we can finally realize that, we can see more clearly that He is calling us to help others out of the darkness. I used to think that by me being in the darkness meant that God wasn't with me or He left me or was punishing me, but those are lies! No matter what things "feel" like, the truth is that if you invited Christ into your heart, then, He "is" there and He will never leave! Wherever you are, He is there, in it with you and you can bet on that, although it may not feel like it, there is purpose in it.
Let the Master refine and renew you to fit His holy purposes. No one makes something for no reason, there is a purpose for every created thing. Whatever you are struggling with, God has not left you and He will give you all that you need to get through. I'm not saying it will be easy but it will be worth it. Beloved, if we will still ourselves and submit to the loving and wise hand of our God and Savior, He will heal your wounds, take what is scarlet and make it white as snow, give back to you the years the locust have taken and remove your sins as far as the east is from the west. He promises that the work He began in you, He will complete.
It is only the foolish child, who will not surrender to The One who wants to heal, that goes on in pain.
P.S. I have had it on my heart to minister to our wounded soldiers that are struggling with despair and suicidal thoughts. If you know of any one who is struggling with this or someone who may know someone who is, please forward this to them. I have found that we have two choices, to fall back into the darkness or press on toward the light. The numbers of suicides by our lost children and teens and our soldiers who are trying to readjust is staggering. Pray that God would reveal one of these people to you and then be an encouragement to them.
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