Refining

Trials are crucibles where God forges our character to reflect his. He is in the fire with us. He never leaves us or forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:8). When we emerge, the strongholds will have burned off and we will find that each time we pass through the fire our freedom in Christ grows exponentially. 

Ref: Daniel 3, Malachi 3:2, Zechariah 13:9, 1 Peter 1:7

Balancing Prayer

Lord of all creation, balance me today. Balance my thoughts, my desires, my cravings. Balance my relationships and the choices that I make in every aspect of my life. Balance my responses, my reactions, my interactions. Lord, balance my heart today from where all things flow. Balance my mind, my body, and my soul. You, oh Lord, who holds the endless universe in perfect balance, the Lord who can suspend planets in mid air and who tells the sea where to stop, balance me today. Make my will your will, my desires your desires, remind me all day through your Holy Spirit that anything that comes into my life has to come through you first. Everything is a lesson to grow from. Let me not expect life to be easy but to know that it will be interesting, exciting, sometimes puzzling and even painful. Remind me that everything is a lesson to grow from. Open my eyes that most of the circumstances I pray for you to remove are places that you want me to be. Places that you want to change me in. Life is a journey of joys and sorrows but you walk with me every step of the way. Keep me mindful that every bad thing has goodness to be found in it if we will only look for you in it. Our purpose here is not to be comfortable but to be comforting, not to be stuffed with delicacies but to be content and share with others. Lord balance me today in every way. Encourage me to release the things I covet and to desire above all that you alone fill my wanting hands, heart and body. Make my day a prayer to you so I can connect to you every moment. Let not my pride think that I can do anything apart from you. Give me a constant hunger to be satisfied and filled only by you. Be my full portion. Above all, reveal and cement in my heart your deep and committed love that you have for me. Let me thirst for your Word and be quenched by it. Let no one or nothing rob me of my peace. Give me wisdom generously to stand in hope of all that you promise. You are My Redeemer, My Savior and the lover of my soul. Whatever shape each person's emptiness is fill it perfectly with all that you are. Whenever someone finds themself alone, may your presence comfort them. And Lord show the lost that you are the way. May your truth and light guide us today and give us hope. Make my desire be to glorify you in all that I do. Amen

Bruises

I often remind myself to act the way Jesus has taught me and not to react to the world. We head out into our day with the best intentions but then something happens and it triggers a reaction from us that we're not very proud of. I call those bruises. If we have unhealed emotional, mental or spiritual bruises then we are vulnerable to being more sensitive. When I was younger, I was a professional with a master's degree in hypersensitivity. My emotions ran my life and as I look back I sadly regret many things.

I learned a lesson many years ago that you can live your life with your emotions controlling you or God's Spirit controlling you. This topic can be very complicated and I could go in depth but I'm going to make this very simple. Today you can choose to get a journal and write down the things that trigger you (your bruises). Then, start reading your Bible and highlight the things that God says to you. Find scriptures that fight those triggers and write them down. They will be the balm that will heal those bruises. They will be the Sword of the Spirit that is part of the armor of God you should be putting on every day (Ephesians 6:13-17). People or Satan will not be able to send you into an emotional frenzy anymore as you grow in this practice.

Allow God's Word to heal those sensitive and wounded parts inside of you, and unsheath God's Word rather than verbalizing your emotions. Day by day you will see yourself maturing in your faith and standing with a posture of a warrior of God rather than a victim. Anger and pity are characteristics that children have. That's why they have tantrums. Our goal should be to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18). In 1st Corinthians 13:11 it says, "When I was a child I spoke like a child, I thought like a child and I reasoned like a child. When I became a grown up I put away childish ways." The more we avoid maturing the longer we and those around us suffer. It's best to jump in with both feet and just start. 

I know that is easy to say but hard to do. It took me years to mature but I will tell you what finally gave me the courage. We need to know two things for sure before we can trust God. The first is how unconditional, magnificent and precious his love is toward us. And second, we have to get rid of our distorted images of God. Find books on these topics. Google scriptures about God's love and write them down in your journal. Do whatever you have to do to keep growing because there is nothing worse than becoming stagnant and apathetic. Whining, having pity parties, lashing out at people, being hypersensitive, angry, combative.. Oh, how I could go on and on and rally behind you regarding this topic! But let's just start with you getting some paper or journal, a pen and some highlighters, post-it notes, your Bible (any Bible will do but I really like the, Life Application Study Bible.) You can find a special place in your house where you can set up or you can put it in a tote bag and take it with you to the park or to a coffee shop, do it by yourself or find a friend to do it with.. I personally like sitting in my bed. I also like to set a timer because you will realize that whether you set it for 5, 15 or 30 minutes it will never end up being enough time. The timer will go off and you will feel like you don't want to stop yet. Once you begin to see how God speaks back to you during your times of study you will want to return to it with enthusiasm. 

So let's get these bruises healed so that we can go out there in the world and instead of being hypersensitive and reactive we can do what we were created to do which is to share the good news and reflect the love of God!

Let's be actors for Christ and not reactors to this world. 

The Stretching

    There's a difference between reading your bible and when God reads it to you. Often it's a chore that we check off our list to get on with our day. Sometimes it serves as a ritual that we do before collapsing in bed because we're so tired. We develop this inner belief that it's good for us to have his Word in us, and it is. However, we know deep down when it is living water and when it is still waters. We know when we are simply reading and when we are being spoken to by the Holy Spirit. There are times when God seems so far away and we feel so alone. It's like the Living Word isn't quenching us. We feel parched, paralysed and in a desolate place. Lonely, shattered, vulnerable and panicking in the darkness. Has God left?

    NO, he has not left. His Word says, "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5). I have learned through my "desert experiences" that is when he is the closest. I don't FEEL him but because he has taken me there so many times, by the grace of God, I've learned that my TRUTH IS IN CHRIST. My feelings cannot be trusted but The Living Word, who is Christ, can ALWAYS be trusted. When you are in a desert period of your life you must change the dialogue of your inner voice. Change your why? to what?. What do you want to accomplish in me Lord? Rather than crying out, "WHYYYYY? Why me Lord???? "Ask him, "WHERE do you want to take me?" We are never in a situation that he will not use to mature us for the betterment of our lives. A fantastic book to help with this is "Telling Yourself the Truth" by Marie Chapian and Jim Backus. I started saying, "Praise you Lord." instead of complaining. I also acknowledge his great love for me as opposed to blaming him for my pain. I try to laugh when things seem out of control because I know through his Word that He is faithful and present with me and already knows the outcome. (Scriptures, Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 115:3, Psalm 22:1-2, Psalm 46, Romans 8:28, Ephesians 1:11, Proverbs 19:21, Colossians 1:17, Jeremiah 10:23...) I fail sometimes but not like I used to. He has grown me and I am so much happier. 

    What I mean by maturing us is that God wants us to be warriors not wimps. His desire is that we will not be shaken to despair but to be awakened to his strength in us. He doesn't want us living lives that are so fragile that at the first sign of trouble we buckle. His will is that we would know who we are IN HIM and go boldly into the tasks he calls us to. Do you put The Armor of God on in the morning? (Ephesians 6:10-18) Before your feet hit the floor in the morning say, "Today I put on the full Armor of God, I gird my waist with the belt of TRUTH, I place the breastplate of God's righteousness on, I shod my feet with the gospel of peace and above all I take up the shield of faith which will extinguish ALL of the fiery missiles from the evil one; I place upon my head the helmet of Salvation and I take up the sword of the Spirit (the Word of God) ..." We must remember that our battles in life are not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 12). We do not serve a God who sends out immature, unwise, unprepared children out into a savage world. We serve a God who trains, equips, provides and goes into battle ahead of us. That is the assurance we have so we can confidently take on any calling. 

    God is the best parent. God knows exactly how long we need to be in the fire to be refined. He is waiting on us to trust him no matter how dark it may get. When he can see his image in our metal, that is when he pulls us out. He doesn't do this work all at once but like a silversmith he will keep purifying us in stages. That kind of faith takes maturity and wisdom from a human. Placing ourselves or our children completely in God's hands is an act of obedience. I recently went through a devastating situation with my sister. I wanted so badly to pull her from the furnace of her troubles but God made it very clear to me that I needed to leave her alone with only God to lean on. So many people run as fast as they can from times of being in the wilderness or long stretches of dark roads. But, that is where God teaches us our greatest lessons. For years I was angry at God for all the hard times but he refused to leave me stagnant in my weaknesses. Each lesson changed me from a quivering, angry, fearful child to a woman now who is clothed in strength and dignity, who laughs without fear of the future. (Proverbs 31:25).

    Life without trusting God is a life of fear. A mature life which has surrendered to God and trusts him is a life of hope. Walk boldly to the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16) and request that he take you on a journey of spiritual growth. A wonderful book to read about this topic is an allegorical novel titled, "Hind's Feet in High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. We're only human and to not want to go on an unknown journey where we know we're going to have to leave our comfort zone is not something we all want to step forward to take on. I fought God for years and what I learned was that the more we complain, kick and holler the slower the trip to the land of milk and honey is. No one ever promised us a comfortable, carefree and trial-free life. I always say, "The trip from Egypt (slavery) to the Promised Land(freedom) was only about eleven days but it took forty years because of their disobedient, stubborn, complaining attitudes. God's work is not to get us from point A to B as soon as possible. He walks with us, talks to us, challenges us, teaches us... It's all about the time he wants to spend with us and our willingness to follow him. 

    We all have places in our hearts and lives where we don't want Jesus to come into. However, he will not leave a closet uncleaned. The work of the Holy Spirit is continuous in us but getting into our dark closets needs a welcome mat from us. God only changes us as fast as we allow him. The conviction of the Holy Spirit is powerful in our lives but with some places in our lives we smother that still, small voice. Choices like busyness, shopping/spending, achieving, indulging... we prioritize the noise of this world over stillness. Busyness turns our backs to the goodness of change in our lives. Whereas, slowing down and being more aware faces us towards positive changes. The questions are, will we trust God with the life he gave us or will we hop on the pride train of distractions? Will we face him or avoid him? Will we live as if this earthly life is the only life we'll ever have? Or, will we let him train us to be his Ambassadors here to prepare others for the eternal life to come? Will we learn to love him or will we never get to truly know him and fear him with an unhealthy fear? The final question though, will we desire to hear those words from God, "Job well done my good and faithful servant." or "Depart from me for I do not know you." God does not throw people into hell. His desire is for ALL to be saved. Will you trust him, believe in him, invite him  into your heart and life? Will you walk with him? Will you let him teach you and grow you? Will you go and tell the good news to others? It's by his blood that we are saved. The only way to the Father is through the son. Our lives are given to us by a loving Creator and all he asks for is that we desire to get to know him and live in relationship with him as we tell others about this free gift of love and life. Will you?

Living with Pain

My life has been a psalm. Pouring out my distress, my pain, crying out to God for relief and mercy. You see, most days I'm lying in my deathbed. I have memories of good days but most of them I had to dull the pain. I didn't want people to see my anguish, my anger my shame. Only God and my sweet husband have seen my darkest struggles. Hours, days, months and years as I sunk deeper and deeper into my troubles. Self-hatred unworthiness and broken, not just by others but by my own misbeliefs. However, it was my life on my deathbed that led me into the precious arms of God. It held me there as God loved me, changed me and grew me! He changed me from the inside out. I used to blame him but now I praise him! What people call their deathbed, when their lives come to an end; I will call my life bed for finally I'll see around that bend.

                ~~~~~~

*Living with fibromyalgia and a myriad of scary and unexplained symptoms and illnesses is like dying a slow death. You are blessed if you have a handful of people that can understand. But God used every evil plan that the enemy had for my life and worked it out for my good! I went from a fearful and confused young lady and he has made me into a Psalm 31 woman who is clothed in strength and dignity and who laughs without fear of the future. I was never alone in all of my lonely pain. God never left me, never turned his back on me and did nothing but love me through it all. Many, many times I did not feel his presence but he promised me in his Word things that I held dear to my heart. I went from a woman who screamed "why? why? why?"  to God, to a woman who says, " I love you Lord and I trust you. You are worthy of my praise"  I don't understand what he's doing a lot of the time but I trust him. He told me to trust him in his Word and I trust him. Even in my days of severe pain my blessings far outweigh my problems. There's always more to be thankful for than there is to complain about if you just look intently for it. 

Resources: 

Telling yourself the truth. Book by Jim Backus and Marie Chapian

Having a Mary heart in a Martha world. Book by Joanna Weaver 

The Peace of heaven. Book by Dana Howard 

Christian cognitive behavioral therapy. Book

by Samaria M. Colbert

Seeing God when you can't see God

As I share the Lord, people often say to me that it’s hard to believe in a God that lets so many bad things happen. My answer to this is biblical and it is that if you live your life separated from life‘s handbook which is the Bible you will not see God in everything. He’s not some big God up in the sky and you’re some little peon down here on earth. He is a triune God which is made up of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. By his nature he is a God that is relational. He created human beings so that he could have a relationship with us. Each and everyone of us. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden and did the one thing that God asked them not to do (Genesis 3), that changed the beautiful plan that God had for his creation. He used to walk in the garden and spend time with Adam and Eve, but, after they rebelled against his will a new plan was put into place. It was a new story that had to be told of a lost people who needed a Savior. We are made up of body, mind, emotions and spirit, not to mention family, community, local, state, national and world affairs… so to think that you can run the show of life on your own and save yourself and the world is a delusion. There is a God, he created us, and to be with him forever we cannot earn it on our own merits. God does not let sin into heaven and he cannot be in the presence of it. The sweet story is, that if we ask Christ into our heart as our savior and ask him to be the Lord of our life we can then stand before our Father in heaven when we die! He will not see our sin but he will see us through the filter and the blood of Jesus Christ his son (John 3:16). It’s a very simple story with a rough road getting to the end but he promises never to leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8).

The one thing you’ll notice in life is if you look at the big story you will not see God. However, if you look into the personal lives of the people going through trials and tribulations, you will hear stories that are so magnificent and miraculous because that’s where God works. Yes, the world is a mess and It’s because of greed, pride, unforgiveness … Which are sins! Our sins! God sent his son because we cannot save ourselves. Christ died at Calvary for you. Christ took the beatings, the slaps in the face, the spitting and cursing and ultimately the horrible death on the cross for you. He was separated from his Father because he bore our sins upon himself! He did what we can’t and that’s why we need a Savior. The only way to the Father is through the son (John 14:6) Christ is the way, the truth and the life. He never promised an easy life! Don’t expect life to be smooth. Who ever promised you that???? He promised to be with us through the fires, floods, traumas, losses…. (Isaiah 43:2), to comfort us, teach us, prepare us, strengthen us… so that we can take that message of his unfailing love to the lost. James 4:8 and Jeremiah 29:12 each tell us that if we draw near to God that he will draw near to us. If you have the courage to seek him, you WILL find him. This life is not about us being comfortable. It simply is about getting all that you need from God and then going and serving others. I pray you seek him and your life becomes one of gratitude rather than one of complaining. God is real so get real with him.

Faith and Orange Juice

Have you ever made fresh squeezed orange juice? You'll know that you have to squeeze a lot of oranges to get a very small amount of juice. That's how Faith also works in your life. Each time that you are in a situation where God in his loving ways begins to squeeze you to build your faith, you will see your faith grow and fill you, if you allow yourself to see him in those hard-pressed times. He starts us out in the same way as an infant does. Small steps, small trials and small squeezing to get us used to growing up in him. If you allow yourself to see him as you take this step and ask him to build your faith you will begin to see yourself filling up. A few of these trials may bring you to where you are filled up past your feet and you will see that you will start to walk in different directions, making better choices and stopping yourself when you know the way that you're going isn't pleasing God. If you continue to see him as he fills you with faith through precarious times you will be filled past your waist and you will notice that you will know when to sit and rest and wait for him to work or to rise and put on the armor of God and take up your sword and go fight a battle. As we continue allowing God to build our faith and fill us with it soon you will see your heart being overtaken by it and saturated in it. Your desires begin to align with Gods. As it continues to fill us it will go past our mouth and change the way that we speak and make it more pleasant to our Lord. It'll rise up above our eyes and we will begin to see him rather than our tough times and we will begin to see that nothing is impossible with his help. And as we mature some of the trials may become darker and harder but if we allow him to press us with less evidence of him being present soon our mind will be soaked with faith through the Holy Spirit and we will see ourselves standing tall and strong in his righteousness rather than our own failable strength! Yes, faith is like orange juice and if you want it bad enough you'll go through the squeezing. 

Just Sing

I will sing in the task I am to hold

I will sing in the dark and the cold

I will sing on the rough rugged road

I am safe when I sing where I am told

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Be happy (in your faith) and rejoice and be glad hearted always; Be unceasing in prayer; thank God in everything (no matter what your circumstances may be) for this is the will of God for you who are in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again - Rejoice!

1 Peter 4:12,13. Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you are participating in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

I urge you brothers and sisters to look for God's grace, mercy and love in your suffering, weakness or anger. HE IS THERE.

James 4:8. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.