Fear Not

God's peace is not found away from the storm but in the middle of one, where His still and quiet grace sustains you.

May you not only experience the elation's of life but also the deep things that are found in the dark caves that we are called to go through.

When after all that...you can find peace for your soul in Christ, then go, and be a peacemaker. You will then fear no more.

Isaiah 41:10, Do not fear, for I (Jesus) am with you.

Hold Still

1 Timothy 1:5 ...love which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

I have this pretty little side table that I use next to my sewing machine. It's a perfect light bone color with a high gloss finish that makes it look so elegant. One day a bottle of mending glue must have tipped over that was stored toward the back. Well, I didn't see or notice it for a week or two and during that time the glue had eaten its way through the varnish and the paint, leaving a gaping scar on the surface. Although the eye-sore was behind other things and could be hidden by my pin-cushion, it remained a scar upon what was supposed to be a beautiful and functional piece that was intended to serve a purpose.

The opening scripture reminded me of that table and the incident as I compared it to the scars of shame and guilt that I had spilled on my life. I saw God's loving hand of restoration through closing my eyes and allowing  memories of my father's work to enter my mind and how he so meticulously restored fine furniture with a skilled and loving hand. Scars are not easy to hide, whether they be on a persons heart, skin or an inanimate object. Gashes in the mind about traumas, mistakes or even shameful intentions fulfilled, can eat away at our thoughts and consciences until we have an emotional wound that is infected and in need of desperate attention. Our minds can feel like a pin-ball machine with metal balls of shame and guilt just banging around in our consciousness causing more bruising and torment until we feel a sense of relentless hopelessness.

As I sat with my eyes closed, picturing my earthly father going through all the tedious stages of restoration, I almost immediately drew the parallel of Jesus, the carpenter and Savior, and Him leaning over us, dressing our wounds and then refinishing us so that His love showed in us rather than our shame and brokenness. Then, I realized why my earthly father had so much success at restoring much beloved yet scarred furniture and it was so clear that it was because the furniture was submissive to him. It didn't fight him or fear him, it didn't run from him or hide from him. It rested still and confident under his skillful and loving hand. Yet, when Father God wants to heal our wounds and restore us to what He intended our lives to be, we run fearing His intentions.

Children of God, we are exhausted from hiding these gashes and they render us ineffective. It isn't until we pray for the courage to lie down before God and let Him apply His skilled and loving hands to our wounds and scars that we will truly be able to have His light and love shine through us into the lives of others. How can we ask others to be honest and courageous if we are hiding from our Master's hand ourselves. I am still in the process of learning to confess and repent for the things that still torment my mind, but I have developed a habit now that is such a blessing.....When a thought comes into your head and you feel shame or guilt, confess it immediately, ask for forgiveness and then place it at the foot of His throne. Every time you find yourself with it after that means you stole it from God because you desire that punishment over His love! Be very aware to be honest with yourself about this. Then, make yourself take it back to His feet, lay it down again and learn to say, "Thank you Lord, for forgiving me of this." We must stop asking for forgiveness for the same sin over and over. That is not what God wants for you! He has no desire to see you in constant torment over a sin after you have repented of it and have asked forgiveness for it. Practice saying, "Thank you for forgiving me, now let's move on."

The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Philippians wrote in chapter 3, verses 13b-14, "But one thing I do; Forgetting what is behind (the past) and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." When our thoughts take us to self-pity and regret which leads to sorrow and then depression...we must call to mind God's Word to save us from the mire that intends to pull us down. Philippians 4:4-8 is one of my favorites, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy....think about such things."

Do what you have to do in accordance with God's will to go less and less to the miry pit of despair. My feeling is this, if you go there less and less and for shorter periods of time each time, then you are growing and that is a good thing! My natural tendency is to fall into despair so I've finally come to the fact that God wants to use me to encourage others who are like me to press on. This is not something God wants me to get over, but get through, and when we can finally realize that, we can see more clearly that He is calling us to help others out of the darkness. I used to think that by me being in the darkness meant that God wasn't with me or He left me or was punishing me, but those are lies! No matter what things "feel" like, the truth is that if you invited Christ into your heart, then, He "is" there and He will never leave! Wherever you are, He is there, in it with you and you can bet on that, although it may not feel like it, there is purpose in it.

Let the Master refine and renew you to fit His holy purposes. No one makes something for no reason, there is a purpose for every created thing. Whatever you are struggling with, God has not left you and He will give you all that you need to get through. I'm not saying it will be easy but it will be worth it. Beloved, if we will still ourselves and submit to the loving and wise hand of our God and Savior, He will heal your wounds, take what is scarlet and make it white as snow, give back to you the years the locust have taken and remove your sins as far as the east is from the west. He promises that the work He began in you, He will complete.

It is only the foolish child, who will not surrender to The One who wants to heal, that goes on in pain.

P.S. I have had it on my heart to minister to our wounded soldiers that are struggling with despair and suicidal thoughts. If you know of any one who is struggling with this or someone who may know someone who is, please forward this to them. I have found that we have two choices, to fall back into the darkness or press on toward the light. The numbers of suicides by our lost children and teens and our soldiers who are trying to readjust is staggering. Pray that God would reveal one of these people to you and then be an encouragement to them.

Who to Blame?

My child,

I know how you're feeling right now. It's awful, painful and you want to blame someone for all of it. It seems as if the smallest, not to mention the biggest of your prayers are being ignored and you are all alone. You're left with confusion and anger on top of your mental, physical and emotional fatigue. I know, I know my sweet child, I felt the same way when my Father had to turn from me at Calvary. I had never been separated from Him before and the feelings of being forsaken were too much to bear. Physical pain, emotional devastation and mental torture were all suffered for only one reason, "For the joy that was set before me." That joy was "you" beloved! As you go through these hard times, make "Me" the joy set before you, and we will endure it all together.

This world is rugged terrain with many dangers, disappointments, infirmities and devastation's. It won't always be like this, remember that I have gone to prepare a place for you that is beyond your wildest imaginations of what joy can be like. So, for this momentary life, although it seems like your sorrows will never end, I promise they will. But you can't make it through all this if you're blaming me. It is the evil and sinful ways of Satan that is the source of all pain, sorrows and suffering. I will soon crush him. This time of waiting is so that many more can be saved and that's what I need you to be doing. Tell others of my compassion, love and hope, show it to them through acts of kindness so that when the last person to accept me, confesses and embraces my salvation, my Father can give the call for me to come and bring you to our paradise! No more tears, no more sorrows, no more suffering, just joy.

Until then my child, I know you need to blame someone for all of it, so remember, brand it on your mind that it is The prince of lies who is the one who seeks to devour and destroy all that is good. Turn your righteous anger on him and your hope on me! Your pain will pass and you will be delivered. These trials are building in you, perseverance, endurance, patience.....See me for what I am, your refuge and source of love and compassion. I cover you with my mighty wing, I will refresh you, revive you and restore you if you will only draw near to me. I know how ugly and awful everything looks and feels to you right now but don't let that blind you to my love and promises. Whatever you go through......I go through it with you! You are not abandon nor alone. Love, Jesus  P.S. Never, never doubt my love for you.

Psalm 25:3, No one whose hope is in the Lord will ever be put to shame.

Romans 12:12, Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Be Kind to Yourself

Your thoughts and the life you live are the steppingstones to who you become and who you will have to answer for, when you stand before God one day. I heard a sermon one Sunday that started a fire of truth deep in my heart. We do become what we tell ourselves is true, and the power of our inner dialog can build us up or tear us down. The truth is, no matter what station in life we were placed, no matter what someone else says or does,  no matter what happens along our journey, nothing should change the truth that God created each of us with complete uniqueness and a special purpose! With Him we can become all He has intended for us, without Him we cannot. God must be intimately involved in every aspect of our lives in order for the great things He has purposed for us to come to fruition! There is nothing we can do, or anywhere we can go that His love and grand design isn't with us! There is only one way to avoid or destroy it and that is to turn our backs on it!

Say nice things to yourself, be kind to yourself and respect yourself. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who is personal, powerful, kind, generous, sacrificial, gentle, just and full of mercy, grace and love! He sent His Son so that He could have an eternal relationship with you and He wants to be a part of all you go through! Respect the gift God gave you, YOUR LIFE, do lovely things for yourself so you can be fresh, healthy and full of energy for the tasks and services you choose to do and that God calls you to do. Stop wasting energy on negative emotions and actions...It just sucks the life out of you and leaves you ineffective. Toss any spirit of self-martyrdom to the side and reach out for help when you need it. Be co-dependent only on God! Pray for God to send blessings into your life so you can be healthy and able to go and be a blessing to others. It's okay to rest, take a nap, close your eyes and rest upon the King's lap. He is the Savior...... not you. All your worry, guilt, shame, fear  and over compensating will not give you any special powers to claim the title of "savior"! Only Jesus can give you the wisdom needed to be balanced emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually, no matter what your circumstance. Your busyness is only a distraction that is keeping you distant from all the blessings from God! He wants to give you peace in your troubles, joy in your day, strength in your challenges! Examine your heart....and choose wisely, for one leads to peace and the other to turmoil.

What lies, the prince of lies, satan, spreads to God's believers. That we must wear ourselves out by becoming martyrs to false idols such as, chronic distracting busyness, obsessions with being right all the time (control), co-dependency on selfish people and their demands, fear of being exposed for being "just plain human" in our weaknesses (not perfect),..... We carry blame and anger rather than love and forgiveness, feel alone when God says we are not, spew excessive complaining, exaggerate our duties to get some attention, praise or love, use worry to show we care about others rather than peace to show we trust God. The prince of lies has us convinced that if we were to "stop" all of that, then maybe, just maybe.....God wouldn't be there and we would be all alone. LIES! ALL LIES! Stop letting fear control you and let the Holy Spirit of love and power control you! Only you can make that choice.

Matthew 11:28-30, Come to Me all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Don't wait till you are so exhausted and full of guilt, shame, fear and
worry to acquire wisdom and enjoy rest.
You may find that you have worn yourself out to the point of breaking
and that wouldn't be good.
Speak kindly to yourself and others, trust and rest in the Everlasting Arms.
God loves you dear one, and His love, mixed with your trust, is a healing balm for your mind, body and soul.

Psalm 62:1, My soul finds rest in God alone.

Psalm Eighteen

The cords of death entangled me, torrents of destruction overwhelmed me, cords of the grave coiled around me, snares of death confronted me. I cried out, my mind and heart were in distress. I was in deep waters and my powerful enemy was too strong for me. Disaster was coming for me, attacks from people and violence was encroaching upon my life!

We have numerous enemies that encroach upon our lives, cancer, illness, depression, loss, personal attacks from loved ones, friends and enemies, natural disasters..... There is no short of problems as long as you live among the living, that's for sure. When David in Psalm 18 speaks of his enemies, we can certainly put a myriad of titles that would apply to our personal situation. That's why the Psalms are so comforting, reassuring and validating. We can open our bibles to these sacred writings and find not only someone who understands but who also can provide all we need to have victory over them! The question lies in what each person defines victory as.

If you are in the darkness, wouldn't light be a welcome blessing? But what if the light wasn't provided for your eyes but for your heart? Verse 28 says, "You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning, You turn my darkness into light." I can attest to this blessing because when I was swallowed up by a deep darkness, God always filled my hearts lamp with oil so that the light of His truth would get me through! Two examples that gave me a mental picture and kept "hope" always before me were, the movie, "The Shawshank Redemption" and the saga of the Chilean miners. I was under great distress in my situation but I had a beautiful, warm, clean bed in which to lie. Many people in the world can't say that! There were no physical enemies that were pursuing me with threats of violence. Many people in the world can't say that! I was free to worship my God through it without fear of death, I wasn't imprisoned, I wasn't trapped! Many people in the world can't say that! My home wasn't swept away in a tsunami, I had all the comforts of home. Many people in the world can't say that! I was loved and not alone. Many people in the world can't say that! Did my situation take me to the marrow of my existence? YES, it did! Did I have more to be thankful for than to complain about? YES!

Our pain, grief, loss, illness....should always be grieved properly. But from one person who has scraped bottom, I can tell you that no matter how dark it may get, God will keep your lamp full with oil! And, through that internal light, we must learn to not become bitter but blessed. When we have troubles we instinctively get tunnel vision that focuses only on that issue and obsession takes root! No one wants problems in their life, it's our natural bend to desire progression and reward. So when life throws us a monkey wrench in our self-controlled life, we tend to magnify the issue till we can get rid of it. Problem is that we don't always have that kind of control. God, whether we can see it or not, always has a plan and will take our trials in His own hands to form a narrative for each life involved. That plan is bigger than us and beyond what we can comprehend. So dear ones, that is when we have to loosen our grip, take a deep breath and say, "Thy will not mine be done, O Lord." Jesus did that for us at Calvary, why would we deserve to escape problems and trials when the Son of God had to surrender to His Father's higher purpose, which was our salvation!

I know, life is not fair, but child of God, He is good and we must find our peace with Him that He knows what is best. Whatever your enemy is right now, or maybe it's your friend or a family member that is fighting a battle, this is just a part of what God has to say through His Word.....I AM your rock, your deliverer, your refuge, your shield, your salvation and stronghold. I will reach down from on high and take hold of you, I will draw you from the deep waters and rescue you. I will support you and bring you out into a spacious place because I delight in those who seek righteousness. My way is perfect and My Word flawless. I will prepare you when you must go into battle, I AM your rock, I AM there for you. Your enemies will lose heart, but not you. I will be faithful to save the humble. Psalm 18 closes with, "The Lord lives! Praise be to my rock! Exalted be God my Savior! He is the God who avenges me....who saves me from my enemies.

If you are a tepid believer, then you will most likely question God when things don't go your way. But, if you grow to trust Him and believe that He is in every circumstance, you will find a peace that is beyond your own ability or comprehension. His Holy Spirit will fill you with comfort, power, wisdom, grace.....all that you will need! Just do three things when troubles come, ask yourself, "Who is the One who can get me through this? And He will always be the One to answer, "I AM." Then, seek Him, (read your bible (start with Psalms:), go to church, get a friend of faith, spend time alone with the God who loves you, talk and listen to Him through His Word). And thirdly, for every problem you have, find 3-5 things that could make it worse and thank God you were spared of those, for it could always be worse! God will bring light into your darkness, sometimes by bringing it to you and other times by bringing you to it. We have victory in all things through Christ.

Psalm Seventeen

As I read today's Psalm, verse seven especially jumped out at me. "Show the wonder of your great love, O Lord." This has become a staple in my prayers for others. Whether praying for family, friends or just someone I see as I'm driving by, I ask God to let them see His great love for them. There isn't anything in this life that can take us down if we are aware of His agape (unconditional) love for us. We all have struggles that threaten to disengage or derail us from what we consider comfortable, safe or familiar. Those struggles can come in many forms such as financial, emotional, physical, mental or circumstantial and anything that challenges our "normal" life is scary and unsettling. It's only His love that steadies us.

God's desire is not to give us a comfortable and uninterrupted lifestyle that affords us only happiness and undisturbed plans. If left to our own fears we would remain root-bound and ineffective in life, so God transplants us constantly so we can grow and flourish, giving glory to Him and Him alone. Having peace, joy and a steady sense of safety comes only from growing. We think that if we don't disturb life and tread very quietly that we won't awaken the monster of problems but that's just a fantasy. If we aren't growing and enjoying that growth then we are just surviving and inwardly waiting for the other shoe to fall. We live in a constant state of worry, panic and doubt and those emotions destroy us!

How do we have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (which are the fruits of God's Holy Spirit)? We trust Him. How do we trust Him? We read His Word and let it guide, comfort, instruct and bless us. We invite Him into our moments, our days, our circumstances. We take joy that He has given us His Spirit that inhabits, guides, teaches and comforts us in all things. The bible tells us that there will be troubles and psalm 17 is a perfect example of that. David is surrounded by trouble as King Saul is pursuing him to destroy him. David begins by crying out to God, "Hear me Lord, listen to my cries, give ear to my prayer!" He then makes the distinction between himself, a man of God, and those who are seeking to do evil against him. In verse 6, David's cry is not the emotional one that he began with but a confirmation of God's faithfulness, "I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer. Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes." David continues with, "keep me, hide me.... rise up Lord and confront them, bring them down, rescue me..." These are strong words from a heart that trusts God, a heart and mind that knows God's faithfulness and promises!

If we do not read our bibles, pray, go to church, fellowship, learn, grow, rest....in God's promises then we are warriors without a sword, and good luck with that. The troubles of this world will bump, bruise, cut and wear you down to a point where all you will cry out is, "Why?, Why God?, Why?" Wouldn't you rather be empowered by the same Spirit that rose Christ form the dead? Wouldn't you rather know that all things have a purpose and that you are supported and loved through all your trials? I read something the other day that profoundly changed my faith. I'm doing a bible study on the fruit of the Spirit by Beth Moore and there was a quote from Foxe's Book of Martyrs where John Foxe writes that, according to the ancient historian, Hegesipppus: Nero sought matter against Peter (the apostle) to put him to death; which, when the people perceived, they entreated Peter with much ado that he would flee the city. Peter, through their importunity at length persuaded, prepared himself to avoid. But, coming to the gate, he saw the Lord Christ come to meet him, to Whom he, worshipping, said, "Lord, whither dost Thou go? To whom He (Jesus) answered and said, "I am come again to be crucified."....... Did you get that????? Peter was heading for big trouble! He was headed to be crucified and as he went to flee, there stood Jesus, and the Lord made it clear that Peter would not go it alone! Jesus suffered and died with Peter, as He will do for everyone of His children when we face trials and troubles! We are NEVER alone!

We are promised the indwelling of God's own Spirit to go with us through this life and Christ Himself will be with us when we depart this life! The only thing that stands between peace and a vexed heart is doubt. With God there is power and purpose in every circumstance, without Him there is only confusion and bitterness. Dear ones, I know what I'm talking about because most of my life was spent not believing God. Oh, I believed in Him but I didn't believe Him. There's a big difference and I'm very familiar with it because I chose to blame Him for all my problems! But praise be to Him who loves and saves even the ones who shake their fists at Him! Yes, "Show the wonder of Your great love, O Lord!" He showed it to me when I didn't deserve it and no matter how many times you fail, He will pick you up, kiss your forehead and encourage you to carry on, all while He covers you with His mighty wing.

So, pray for yourself, for others, that He would show the wonder of His great love so we can be healed and continue on, giving glory to His name! He calls his children, "The apple of His eye." because we are precious to Him, so much that He died on a cross for our sins. "Tetelestai!", His final words cried out from Calvary....meaning PAID IN FULL. Oh, that we would never cease praying that, "THAT LOVE" would never escape our hearts and minds.

1 Peter 4:12-13, Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed.

Revelation 3:8b, Jesus spoke, "I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept My Word and have not denied My Name."

Revelation 7:17b, And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.

Jude 1:21, Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

God works best in the darkness because He's the only One with a light!

He is our hope. Stay close to Him.

Psalm Sixteen

Wisdom, confidence, joy and security. As I'm going through some recent circumstances I can honestly say that I am thirsting for these things! Wisdom, "What do I do Lord?", confidence, "Where is my next step?, joy, "Will there be anything good in or from this?", security, "Why do I feel so scared?". Our minds swirl with questions and fears that almost seem to be drowning us BUT, David speaks a wonderful truth to us in Psalm sixteen, "We are safe, equipped, stable and filled with joy because we have God!" We have ALL good things because we belong to Him! He is our FULL portion, our lot is secure and God has drawn boundary lines for us that fall in pleasant places! We have a delightful inheritance!

One of our greatest fears is to be alone with a problem, with no one to guide us through.... BUT, God says He will counsel us! If we set the Lord before us and obediently follow Him, we will not be shaken. None of us like to be shaken up, it's a horrible feeling that seems to shatter our circumstances into a million pieces. What was once a big problem then seems like a bigger problem scattered all around us! Hoping for help can then turn to helplessness and hopelessness! BUT, we are not wanderers with no guide, we are the children of the Most High and because of His love for us, our hearts can be glad, our tongues can rejoice and our bodies can rest secure! We all know how circumstances can affect our bodies, our health and our abilities! The first place stress manifests itself is in our body and nothing apart from the grace of God can halt that. BUT, we can have peace through anything because we know that He will not abandon us!

Verse 11 closes the miktam with, "You Lord, have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand." Children of God, He is our guide, He fills us, He is our joy, He is present, He can make what is dark, light, what is crooked, straight, what is confusing, clear, He is our all. This Psalm reminds us that we are His, we are set apart, we are covered by His mighty wing, He is our refuge and our strength.

Exodus 3:14, ...And God said to Moses, "Tell them, I AM sent you.

I AM

I AM...God Almighty, Your Shield, The Lord, The First and the Last, The God of all mankind, Son of man, Son of God, The Bread of Life, The Light of the World, The Gate for the Sheep, The Good Shepherd, The Resurrection and the Life, The Way The Truth and The Life, The True Vine...I AM coming soon, I AM Jesus....Who do you say that I AM?  

Surface Tension

Have you ever felt like a tiny little puddle, just laying there with no control over what is happening to you or around you? Sometimes when we're stricken by pain we can feel that way, like we are powerless to maintain our old self and are forced to stop all activity that was healthy or positive and just deal with the uninvited intruder to our body! Other times there may be a circumstance that is beyond our control and we are called to rise up with a love that we feel is unattainable by human effort. Every part of us wants to scream for deliverance because our fears appear to darken any possibility of love succeeding. Hope, seeming like a red hot handle that we dare not grab because it means there will be pain involved as we are called to set our anger, resentment and bitterness down. We feel like our only choices are to remain stagnant or to free fall, and neither is really a choice, is it?

I've found that in our refusal to surrender to God, He will send more rain! Our puddle swells and as the surface tension expands to its limit, it finally breaks and begins to run off. I used to see this as a, "Come on God!, Are you serious!" moment! Just when we think we can't take anymore, we are pushed to breaking! Yet, what we call breaking....God calls expanding, because He knows everything that is to come, all the twists and turns and all the blessings they will bring! Our tiny mud puddle breaks forth and becomes a stream that now has a chance to reach beyond, a chance to know things that are deeper! The overflow is not a strike by God saying, "There take that!", rather, it's a way of escape and anyone who is stuck in a circumstance knows what even the smallest change can mean when you feel trapped!

A couple weeks ago I started a bible study by Beth Moore at our church. Each week I can see the hand of God as he intervenes in the circumstances of my life and draws a common theme....."Your puddle my precious one, will swell and flow until it flows into my ocean of limitless love." I'm finally seeing the bridge that takes me from despair to hope! I always thought of the process as being that my prayer should bring a result from God and if it didn't, well, He just didn't love me. That kind of thinking has kept me in a prison for years but through this study I'm learning how to run to my Heavenly Daddy, search the Word (Jesus) for what He wants to say to me, then, invite the Holy Spirit into all of it so He can enable and guide me to victory through my trials!

This week we learned about agape love, which is God's divine unconditional love. We can never love in that divine fashion BUT He can pour that love through us and enable us to love like He does. I needed this exact lesson at exactly this time in my life! My husband's mother is quite old and progressively getting worse in health. Her other son is Kevin, my brother in law, and he is mentally handicapped, kinda like rain-man but more talkative and funny. He has such an innocent and child-like personality, even though we are both in our fifties, that makes him easy to love! Having him here part-time has been an adjustment but its worked out fine over the years. Recently though, we are faced with the reality that he will be our full-time son and our lives will change dramatically, forever. We will be having to be responsible for another human being, his seizures and medical problems and our privacy and freedom will be gone. I was blinded by fear and anxiety this week as I wrestled with this reality.

God spoke to me though, through this weeks lesson, and revealed to me that agape love is more of an action than a feeling. Beth writes, "Agape always flows from what is right and best. We will discover that God commands us to agape. He is not commanding us toward a feeling, He is commanding us to surrender to an act of His Spirit which results in obedience.....Agape is not fueled by the desire of its recipient; it is fueled by the need.....Agape love means God did what humanity most needed." I took those words and changed the names, "Agape love means Dee did what Kevin most needed." I saw the difference between a life of doing and a life of loving. Believe it or not I never distinguished the two! Mother Theresa said, "It's not how much we do, but with how much love we do it."

In 1 peter 4:8 it says, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." God showed me a deeper truth into that scripture this week and He revealed to me that by loving others, God's mercy is more and more available to us! At the end of this life, when we stand before God, all that will matter is.....did you love others. That mercy given by God will expand as we let God expand His acts of agape love through us in our life! Our fears and our selfishness keep us from knowing the expansive love of God, AND, those fears and selfish choices keep others from knowing God's divine love through us! Fear happens when we step out of the moment and try to go ahead. Our peace, our service, our love is now!

I'm trusting God that if I obey His command to surrender to an act of His Spirit that He will take care of everything I'll need to get through. I want love and joy in my life, not anger and resentment. My story is a long one with many reasons to be angry but now that I finally understand that God's Spirit will help me with everything, I'm choosing to release my bitterness. Life rarely goes as planned and anything outside our plans can rattle our world! We can be overcome by feelings of panic and anxiety that separate us from God's truth about how He can put peace where there's challenge, joy where there's sadness and ability where there's crippling fear! I'm letting Him overflow my puddle into a stream, a river, a lake, an ocean of His love that will enable me to be loved and to love! Whatever comes....His grace will be sufficient.

1 Corinthians 13:7-8, Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.