Rescued

I shared a lot of personal things and at the end God spoke through his Spirit and it is powerful! I'm not going to spell check or edit this because the writing of it has left me exhausted. God be with you. 

As I sat weeping uncontrollably while watching a show on tv, my heart was angrily speaking to my mind. "Where was God when I was being assaulted!" Of course this girl on tv was going to be rescued but that's not real life! In real life horrible things happen. While I was basically screaming at God and wallowing in my stronghold of worthlessness I felt the warmth of the Holy Spirit begin to consume and cover me. His voice which was strong yet warm and loving began to speak to me. But first, let me catch you up on how I ended up with the scars that held me in bondage.

Years ago when I was younger there were five events that happened to me that ensured me that I was of no worth. These happened after the loss of my mother which devastated me and started that voice within me that told me I wasn't worth living for. I've been a child of God ever since my young twenties but in my youth I always straddled the fence of worldliness and righteousness through Christ. My disobedience led me to places I should not have been but on the other hand wickedness also comes to find you. Below are the defining events. I'm going to skip a lot of detail because this is a blog post not a book.

I remember the first event when a group of boys chased me down and pinned me to the ground. They began to take my pants off and I recall feeling so helpless. My friend was screaming at them and I don't know what happened but they released me and dispersed. The second event took place at an outdoor mall. A gang of boys picked me up by my legs and arms and carried me the entire length of the mall while I screamed and struggled for help. There were people and couples with children that just watched but no one helped me. My friend kept yelling at them to let me go but they took me in the ally behind the store and pinned me against the wall. They were a motley crew that we called "The gutter gang" and as they began to take my pants off someone in their group but standing back further  said, "That's enough, stop." They released me and my friend and I ran. The third time took place when I was leaving my job as a bar waitress. It was about 3 am in the morning and as I got into my car a man entered the passenger door. He instructed me to drive and soon arrived at a big mansion in the city. He took my keys and entered the house. I could see that he put the keys in his coat pocket and through the big front window he put the coat in a trunk behind the couch and then went into a door and closed it. I ran into the house and retrieved the keys and ran back out. He came out of the door moments later, naked and confident and saw that I was in my car. He motioned to me that he had my keys but I held them up and I drove away quickly. The fourth episode happened when I went on a trip with a new boyfriend to a cabin up in the mountains. He turned out to be a sociopath and needless to say he tormented me, hurt me badly and threatened my life over and over. It went on for three days until he threw me out of the car at a bus station in a very dangerous place in the middle of nowhere and hundreds of miles from home. The fifth time happened when I was in my 30's. I was gardening in my yard one morning before I had to go to an appointment. I noticed a man lurking in the ally and he was still there over an hour later. I had to leave the house so I pre-planned to open the garage door and get into my car fast and lock the door just in case he was dangerous. I'm so glad that I did that because as I opened the garage door he came bolting into my garage and as I locked the door he was putting his hand on the door handle. We caught eyes and he exited the garage. I pulled out and called the police but he was gone when they arrived.

    It was only a year later that I was hit by a tidal wave of emotions that took me down. They say that's how it happens. You survive a trauma and at some unexpected time, years later it hits! All the memories and emotions flood your brain which sends a signal to your body that you are overwhelmed and consumed with fear. You start to shake, sweat, cry and your world spins out of control. I started therapy and over the years I learned ways to protect myself and still be able to function in life. It took a long time but slowly I healed in many areas and was able to recover to a point. No one really understood the fear, abandonment and torment that I lived with everyday. I looked normal on the outside but I was a terrified child inside. I covered those emotions with alcohol and anxiety for many years which of course resulted in a myriad of health problems. Each year I would heal a little more as I lived a healthier life-style and continued in counseling. I also immersed myself in Jesus and I began to become a woman who was strong in her faith. God and I have been through a lot together. My pain was his way into my heart.

So, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post I was watching a show and it was stirring up an anger deep with me. My old inner voice showed up and was telling me that I wasn't worth saving and that God had abandoned me. We all know that voice right? That self-deprecating voice that rears its ugly head when we are feeling weak. That is the voice of the enemy and as the bible says, he seeks to devour and destroy. But, Gods voice is greater and more powerful! As I sat there weeping and blaming God for not rescuing me during those terrifying times I began to hear a voice within me rising up. If you're not familiar with the book of Job in the bible when God says to Job, "Now listen to me." then you HAVE TO read it (Job chapter 38-42) WOWZER! This voice is the Spirit of the ONE TRUE LIVING GOD and it's speaking to me while I'm in one of my darkest places. It was a Psalm 42:7 moment for me when Deep called unto deep and His waves and billows rushed over me. God spoke and this is what he said, "Why did those boys let you go? Because I rescued you. Why did that gang release you? Because I rescued you. Why did you escape that mansion? Because I rescued you. Why did you survive at that cabin, in the dark desert where you were thrown out and at the dangerous bus station where evil was all around? Because I rescued you. Why did the man looking for prey not get you? Because I rescued you. I have rescued you even when you didn't know that danger was near. I have rescued you even when you went against my will and direction. I have never left you or forsaken you. I have been and always will be with you. There is no place that you can go that is beyond my love for you, even unto death. Do you think I am not there when my precious children are ravaged by the evils of this world? Do you think that even when they are killed that I am not there to rescue their souls and usher them home? I enter the most dangerous places and I rescue every soul. I meet with them as they are perishing and when they gaze into my eyes of love they give themselves to me and I take them in my arms. I rescue the lost, the broken, the overwhelmed and the tired. My love transcends any love that you know. I rescued you, I will continue to rescue you until we break bread together in heaven. You were not alone, you will never be alone. I am in the hottest fire, the deepest sea and the most sinful places. My Father sent me to walk into the crack houses, the homes of rage and abuse... I can see each soul, not as they are but for who they can be in me. You may not be able to see how my love works but I'm asking you to trust and believe that it is boundless. Read My Word, Know My Word and Live My Word. Now go, and tell someone about this free gift of love.

John 3:16, "For God so loved the world (YOU) that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Romans 8:31-39, Jeremiah 29:11-14, Hebrews 13:5, Deuteronomy 31:6

The Tree

  An Allegory  

    It's the deep of winter here in the northeast when all of life turns to black and white. Most days are dreary and spent inside. Where did all the colors go? The flowers, birds, sunshine, picnics and gatherings seem like lost memories buried deep under the frozen ground like graves. Our front doors are like prison gates as the frigid winds lurk just outside like guards keeping us locked in. The tedium and mundane play like a record stuck in a groove, over and over. Newness and creativity seem to ebb and flow depending on our mindsets or energy levels. All of life somehow hangs on to a frayed string of hope that this too shall pass and we will feel warmth and energy again. Where is God?

    I saw him in a tree yesterday. He stood there stripped of all his luscious leaves. The birds had abandoned him and only the woodpecker stayed to chip away at his carcass. Surrounded by frozen ice he sat alone on a bleak hill. I asked him, "Why aren't you showing your glory? We need to see your majesty! You seem to be worn down just like us! Where is your power and might?" As I stood there presuming only silence as a response, I heard him.

    "Oh, child I AM here. Just as I appeared on the cross that gloomy day at Golgotha. Stripped of my luscious purple robe of majesty, the world appeared to have gone black and white. My friends and followers abandoned me and only my enemies stayed to pick at my carcass. Surrounded by frozen hearts I hung alone on that bleak hill. There was no way out and the guards made sure that the nails kept me prisoner. Darkness fell over the land and upon me was heaped the sins of the world. Even my Father had to look away.               I gave you that day at Calvary to remind you that even though the branches are bare and the fig tree produces no fruit, I AM alive in the darkness. Inside this tree that you are staring at is an intricate plan. It may look defeated to you but to me I AM working. Nothing is dead, nothing is out-of-control! The DNA of all living things is conducted by me. I have written the symphony that it will play, the steps it will dance and the songs it will sing. I will unveil the warmth of the sun and push forth blossoms. I will send the honeybees to do their work and the birds will build their nests with no worry. The ants will never tarry, the fox will hunt and the sun and moon will rise and set as I have commanded them. There is not even a stone that sits where I do not tell it to. The snow caps will melt bringing glacial milk to the valleys where your crops will grow and fresh waters will flow. I AM right here my child and there is nothing that can change that"

    As I stood in wonderous awe I could now see that the tree that appeared dead to me was working furiously within its DNA. At a microscopic level God's love and purpose was alive and fierce in its purpose. The epiphany that God is not dead in our darkness blew light into my spirit and life into my soul. "I AM here, he told me. No season, no challenge, no temporary defeat, no depression, no sickness... can extinguish me. I AM the light and life forever more. NEVER FORGET that that dark day at Calvary, when the tree appeared dead was only the gateway to the day of resurrection. You may suffer for a short time but I PROMISE you that after every darkness there will come the day of light. There is no power in heaven or on earth that can keep me from shining my light on you so you can rise from the cold earth and blossom. Don't ever confuse stillness for ineffectiveness for most of my work is done in silence. Never presume me unable or distant. The tomb cloth will soon be removed and I will place the robe of righteousness, my righteousness upon you. Your winter is coming to an end."

1 Peter 5:10, "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered for a little while, he himself will restore, support and strengthen you."

    God has put in us, through His Spirit, a DNA that belongs to Him. He is interwoven into you literally. Nothing can separate that. Where ever you are, He is alive and working IN you. The tree that appears dead and lifeless is hard at work inside planning for spring.

Clean out the Closets

This is a re-post of an article that I wrote a few years back. I feel led to share it again. I believe it is good wisdom on starting anew. God bless and Happy New Year. From God's heart to mine to yours, Sincerely, Dee

In our relationship with God we can choose several ways to try and avoid Him. There's tip toeing around, trying to hide our shame or guilt, pretending that if we don't look at Him then He won't notice us. Or we live a tepid Christian life that just does the minimum and it's enough to make us feel good about ourselves. Then there's busyness, where we stay so busy that, "There just isn't time right now Lord, for me to stop and discuss this!" and we hope He forgets about it. I played these games for years and all it did was make me feel awful and I missed out on living a guilt and shame free life! When we finally figure out how much God loves us, and that He knows everything anyway, whether we tell Him or not, that's when we can exhale and start breathing again!

We can talk to God about everything, no matter how ugly, dark or repulsive it may be. He already knows about it and He wants you to be set free. He died on the cross for you, and the exact same sin that you're worrying about right now, has already been nailed to the cross and forgiven. The processes we have to go through here on earth to heal from our sins and its affects is for our benefit. His love and forgiveness is unlimited as long as we accept Him and His gift of pardon on the cross! He always responds to our human failures with love, compassion and discipline. Yes, I said discipline, but don't let that scare you because discipline is not punishment! It is a lesson of love that He uses to teach us, just like we teach our children to not touch fire again. We will actually come to love those lessons because they draw us nearer to His heart and His deep ocean of love. We won't be afraid to come to Him with everything after experiencing that unconditional love. Judgement and condemnation is not how God deals with His children because of Christ's sacrifice on the cross. In John 12:47 Christ tells us that, He did not come into the world to judge us but to save us!

Jesus is our safe place! He doesn't want you to be afraid of Him, He wants you to run to Him, grab on to Him and feel free to release anything that is holding you in bondage. Picture yourself as a child and leap onto His lap, wrap your arms around His neck and find peace there. If you were to describe a perfect friend, He is that friend! He will listen to you, empathize with you and teach you how to live a life of freedom. His compassion and mercies never run out because He loves you unconditionally. Do you have a hard time grasping the idea of hugging God or looking into His eyes when He isn't actually physically there? So did his disciples, but Jesus told them that He would have to leave them and go back to heaven but that His Father was going to send a helper. He told them, (John 15:5-15) that He would no longer be beside them but that the Holy Spirit would come and be inside them! The Holy Spirit can't be summed up but once you invite Jesus into your heart and His Spirit comes to reside in you, there's nothing else like it! He will guide you, comfort you, teach you and get you through everything!

Our Savior came to set the sinners free not imprison them. He didn't come to hang out with the chief priests and the people who appeared perfect. No, He came to ordinary men and woman who knew they needed a Savior. He came to the sick, the poor, the broken, the hurting and the lost. He came to heal, love, save, comfort and redeem! We all can be free if we confess, receive and believe in the God who left His Holy position in heaven, took on human flesh and dwelt among us! We all have a free will and we can choose to accept Him as our Savior or we can go and live our lives our own way. He will never force His love upon us because that's what free will is...He wants us to choose to love Him!

Let's assume you're going to accept Him into your heart and life. What about having to change, that's scary! We all have dark closets that we don't want anyone poking around in. We've all done this...when we have company or a party at our house we stuff things into the closets to make the residence appear all together and tidy. We only want people to see the perfect us and would be appalled if someone intruded by opening a closet door that we had designated as off limits. Jesus will never open that door without your permission and if you do allow Him in...He won't be shocked because He already knows what's in there. It's us that have all the hang ups, not Him! The longer we ignore that closet and keep Him out of it, the worse that closet becomes. Dark closets begin to mold and mildew, they get spiders, mice, germs, dust, cobwebs and the vermin will even nest! The floorboards and walls will begin to deteriorate and most of the good items in there will become ruined along with the junk. Ever watch Hoarders? Do you have a dark closet in your heart? Invite Jesus in and He will be with you every step of the way.

It's human nature that the worse a problem gets, the more we avoid it! We put off opening up those closets because it all seems to daunting to deal with. Let me tell you something about closets, whether they be in our home, mind or hearts...you have to make a big mess before you can get it orderly! You have to first have the courage to open it, then you have to start pulling things out and making piles, ie: one for the thrift store, one is for garbage, one is to clean and keep and maybe one pile for things you have to return to people and so on it goes. I happen to be one of those people that loves to clean things out and have order but most people are not like that! They hate the thought of doing it and especially having to do it alone ! Satan will even get involved and start whispering in our ear, things like, "Ah, leave it in there, you don't have to deal with it, it's not bothering anybody." or "You're sick, tired and afraid already, why make things worse!" or "If anyone were to find out about your sin that you're hiding, just think how humiliated you would feel!" and the lies go on and on....

These are some truths that dispel the lies...#1: Opening the closet and confessing is not the scary part! It's the fear, guilt and shame you feel by hiding it. I opened a dark closet in my mind and I invited Jesus in to help me with the clean-up and it wasn't bad at all. I'm not saying that the process wasn't very difficult, I'm just saying that it wasn't what the enemy was making it out to be at all! There was love there, not condemnation. The worse part was all the anxiety and panic that I felt prior to doing it, and thinking that He would be ashamed of me and punish me. But none of that happened, all He did was sit with me and help me through it all. It was wonderful and I hope whoever is reading this will dismiss the lies in their head and just get to it, so you can begin to have freedom and live again!

#2: As you pull each thing out of the dark closet you will have to make decisions like, "Do I keep this wound and allow it to be healed so I can cherish the scar as a reminder of my victory over it?" or maybe you'll pull something out that really belongs to someone else, like a hurt, an offence or a pain that someone else caused, but you've been holding on to it. "Is it time to let go?" You may come across something that you just need to hand over to Jesus and ask Him to fix it because you've never been able to do it on your own. Some things simply get thrown out, some may be things that remind you that you need to apologize to someone or forgive someone that hurt you deeply so that you don't have to carry that "ugly" in you anymore. There will be things that we need to face and take responsibility for and other things we need to clean up and preserve as reminders. Tears, sorrow, anger, bitterness, shame, guilt, resentments....they will all be in there and each one Jesus will be there to lovingly help you sort through, giving you new courage and healing your wounds.

#3: Your life will be so different after you do this! You're going to ask yourself, "Why didn't I do this sooner!" Once the closet is cleaned of the contents, the mold and cobwebs have been cleaned up, you've aired it out, finished any repairs and repainted, it's time to put a new light bulb in! That light is Jesus and His light is eternal and purifying! At this point it's up to you what you want to put back into the closet and if your going to keep His light burning in there. (Please read Matthew 13:1-23!) about the Parable of the Four Soils.) Some of us choose to go on with the Lord, letting Him love us and heal us, whereas, others choose to go back to the darkness. They will believe the lies from the enemy and their sweet memories of their time with Jesus will fade because they won't read their bible, go to church or have fellowship with other Christians. They'll  paint their closet black again and put junk back in there like before. But for those who choose abundant life they fill their new closet with the good things from God such as, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22,23). The imprisonment they used to live in has been transformed forever to a place of freedom! Their mind, heart and souls are now open and full of light and God is welcome there anytime!

Isaiah 61:1-3, (Prophesy about our Messiah Jesus), The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good new to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God (justice), to comfort all who mourn, and to provide for those who grieve, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.

Restoration

 Joel 2:25 reads, "I will restore back to you the years the locusts have taken.

Just as in the book of Job, God does allow calamity. However, in the book of Joel he also promises restoration. He will do anything to get our attention so that we recognize our sin and come to repentance. That's why Psalm 118:24 says, "This is the day that the Lord has made; rejoice and be glad in it!" No matter where God has you, He is in it with you. He waits for us to release our grip on sin so that he can save us and give us good things.

Are you in a desert land? God wants to speak to you there. Give him your attention and he will draw near to you (James 4:8) He has plans for you, plans to prosper you; not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on him and come and pray to him, and he will listen to you. He will be found by you and bring you back from captivity." (Jeremiah 29:11-14).

Where do you find yourself today? Battling a promiscuous past and struggling with feelings of worthlessness, shame and guilt? Have you landed yourself in jail or prison? Is your marriage in shambles? Do you have a loved one or child that is out of control or on drugs? Are you weary from abuse? Are you battling an addiction? Has your bank account run dry? Are you living on the desolate side of life? Does depression come over you like a dark cloud. Do you fret and worry and now you are physically sick from it? Has anger consumed you to the point that it now controls you? Has unforgiveness become like vomit in your belly and you have no freedom in your mind or life because of it?

God wants to deliver you from it all. He wants to wash you clean. (See Ezekiel 16:1-14), vs 9-10, "Then I bathed you and washed you, I rubbed fragrant oils into your skin and clothed you beautifully..." God loves you and wants you to be his child. (read Romans 8:14-17) He will restore back to you the years the locust have taken. (Joel 2:25) He will give you a new heart and a new mind. (Ezekiel 36:26).

Blessed Redeemer, Transform me, make my sharp edges smooth. Turn my confusion into soundness and my sadness into joy. Wash me, dress me and crown me as your own. Fill me with your Spirit and never let me look upon false gods. Keep me from temptation and deliver me from evil. Renew my mind to see my worth in you. Set me on the rock which is you, who raises me above falsehoods. Let my heart rejoice in what you have done and be in wonderment for what you are going to do. Above all, send me to the lost, the hurting, the needy so they can see you through me. Thank you for restoration! Amen

Read Psalm 51

Crown of Hope

Psalm 8:4, “What are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them? Yet, you made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honor.”

We are the crown of his creation, even the angels live in wonder of why God loves us so much. Yet, each day we leave our crown behind because balancing it on our head just makes our errands, chores, duties... more cumbersome. We can get much more done without having to balance that signal of our position, that sign of who we represent, on our frantic head. 

When we run on our own steam there is a posture of self sufficiency that emanates from us. Our speech projects a spirit of self accomplishment and self strength. God however, wants others to see Him in us. His poise, grace, humility, love, trust, patience, mercy... When others see us serving him by taking time to notice them - it’s then that he receives all the glory. That is what it is all about, His plan not our list. 

Taking the time each morning to place that royal crown upon our head is an act of surrender and worship. We are saying to God that we want his plan and purpose for the day. We want people to see him in us. We want him to receive the glory for his kindness through us not empty accolades for how much we can wear ourselves out or how well we handle pressure. Wearing the crown each day ensures we are focused on Him. Balancing it, straightening it, protecting it as we go through our day with the posture of being the Kings child. 

We serve a King who serves his people. He is majestic yet humble, wise yet understanding, kind yet protecting, loving yet sovereign. That crown that we find too weighty and inconvenient to place on our heads each day is actually the thing that keeps us upright, prioritized, walking with a posture that glorifies the King. It keeps our body balanced, strengthens us and is a constant reminder that we may be royal but we have been saved. Saved by grace and the purpose of that crown is to walk in grace each day glorifying the grace giver- Jesus Christ. 

Our crown says to everyone that sees us that we are in a position to bring to them any resource that may be needed. Our Father provides all and through our prayers with them they will have been placed in the presence of the Great-giver. Our crown brings comfort, reassurance and peace where there is none. It is a beacon of hope where all Hope seems to have been lost. Our crown is a symbol of provision that the King sees their need and HE WILL ensure provisions. Our crown is a statuesque beacon that love is there. It has not been defeated, crushed or destroyed but it is erect and shining with a blinding light into the hearts of his people who are feeling fearful and the hearts of the lost. Our crown says to the world that God has not left you or forsaken you because LOOK, here are his sons and daughters and you can be assured that he would never leave them behind. They are a Royal Army that has been given orders to help, relieve, heal, feed, comfort... It tells the wounded and needy that they are not alone. 

This world is going to get crazier in hyper-speed but just as worldly things do fall apart, our Father does not. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is a rock on which you can stand as the storm rages around you. Give your heart to him today. Ask him to come and reside within you and become Lord of your life. Confess and repent of your sins and watch him make you white as snow. The world needs hope, faith and charity right now more than ever, so take up your crown and go be a soldier in his Royal Army. 

Think Bigger

Oh, so often I go to God thinking so small. As if He gives me only as much as I have earned. I have learned in the past few years the practice of asking big! In my old way of thinking I would ask God in prayer to lift a suffering friend's nose just above the stormy waters for relief. However, now I come boldly before the throne with full confidence that God's grace is more than sufficient for our needs. His supply of grace, mercy, healing, love.... is abundant and endless. I now pray that same prayer with assurance by asking God to pluck them from the stormy waters and walk with them on the glassy sea. Ministering to them as to why they are in a drowning situation. I pray that in God's timing they would have deliverance from what was causing them to drown and that He would bless them abundantly in all ways with maturity in Him. Menial prayers represent a low faith posture. We should not pray with the limits of  what we think we deserve to ask for. We should pray the way God told us to pray! Hebrews 4:16, "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace for help in times of need."

More than not we ask God to get us or someone else OUT of a trial. Never considering that God wants to use the pressure of that hard time to turn us from a chunk of coal into a diamond. Under pressure, in pain, being uncomfortable... those are the places of growth and transformation. No one likes to be in those situations. We are humans and we always seek survival, comfort and control. However, those dark places are where God gets our attention. We can fight Him there or we can surrender to His love and let Him transform us. Few ever change because it's a very scary prospect that we will loose control or become overcome with fear when we step out of our comfort zone. That's why we must go boldly before the throne daily and ask God to make those changes with full trust in His love. He wants us to come to Him and trust Him to take our hand and see us through to the other side. When we consider pain we see torment but when God talks of pain He sees healing. It's not a place of punishment, it's a place of grace. Way to often we will not voluntarily go to God for growth because our fear is bigger than our faith. That is why He will change our route or cause a detour in our life so that He can get our attention and work on completing the good work that He began in us. (Philippians 1:6) He loves us way too much to leave us the way we are.

Try it for a week and THINK BIG. Pray bigger prayers, See His love as limitless and kind, filled with purpose and good will. Reach your hand out to Him and ask Him to help you with an area of your life that you want to change. Trust Him to heal you of your past and turn your shame into rejoicing. Pray believing and trust His timing. Faith it till He fulfills it. Pray for Him to use the dark times that you or someone else are going through to recycle you and turn your old into new. Each 24 hour cycle of life has light and darkness in it. So is our walk with the Lord as He always takes us through times of Light and times of darkness. Learn to trust Him BIG, love Him BIG, pray BIG, think BIG and know with full certainty that He is BIG and able. His grace IS sufficient for all our needs. The biggest problem in our fast paced world is impatience. Slow down, meditate on His Word, and come to the realization that God works in His timing not ours. His plans are way bigger than we could ever imagine! His plans are to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future... You will call to him and come and pray to Him and He will listen to you. You will seek Him and you will find Him when you seek Him with all your heart. He will be found by you and He will bring you back from captivity..." (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

Ephesians 3:16-21, "May you grasp how wide and long and deep My love for you is; a love that surpasses knowledge... you cannot ask or imagine the things I am planning for you."

Philippians 1:6, "being confident of this that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Matthew 7:7-11, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks the door will be opened"

God wants tenacity, faith, belief in His unwavering love and power. Never stop thinking BIG, asking BIG and believing BIG. His good works are as beautiful in the dark as they are in the light.

Psalm 139:12, "even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like day, for darkness is as light to you."

His grace is great enough to meet the great things-
The crashing waves that overwhelm the soul,
The roaring winds that leave us stunned and breathless,
The sudden storms beyond our life's control.

His grace is great enough to meet the small things-
The little pinprick troubles that annoy,
The insect worries, buzzing and persistent,
The squeaking wheels that grate upon our joy.

Annie Johnson Flint

My Psalm Part 2

Oh Lord, My God, Praise you for hearing the cries of my heart yesterday. Thank you for not just raising my nose above those scary waters but for pulling me into your life boat and giving me full relief. I was weary and you gave me rest (without guilt:). I was confused and upset but you calmed my mind with your Word. My feelings were taking over but you raised your hand and said, "Be still." and they obeyed your command. I was crying from sadness but you turned them into tears of gratitude for your grace and presence.

Having the flu and its lingering affects brought me to my knees. However, when I cried out in my distress You were so faithful to reveal your love. Sometimes we want to be able to look into your eyes or feel you swipe the fever drenched hair off our foreheads. I know it's because my mom died when I was young that I desire that physical tenderness when I'm ill. Thank you for refocusing my thoughts toward the blessings I do have rather than what's absent. My dear friends and family texted and called to check on me, my husband carried every load and loved on me, my sister-in-law made me soup and my son made me his Valentine :) Lord, you not only provided shelter and provisions but you lavished your love upon me. ONE PRAYER CHANGED EVERYTHING.

When we feel desperate and it seems like even God has forgotten us, He hasn't. All it takes is one prayer, one scripture to refocus our attention. James 4:8 is one of my favorite scriptures, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." When we are at our weakest He promises to be our strength (2 Corinthians 12:9). He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8).

Sisters and brothers, keep your focus on the Lord. We all get turned around so it is vital that we know His Word. It is imperative that we know His truth. This world and the forces of darkness are busy at work every day to get your attention off of God and onto worldly things. I let my weariness turn my focus to sad and pitiful thoughts rather than clinging to His Word like a mast to get me through the storm. We must be children of God and know with full assurance who we belong to and what His promises are for us. It is our duty to service that we encourage each other and lift each other up. Read Proverbs chapter 4 and understand how important it is to guard our hearts. The mind is the pathway to the heart (Read Philippians 4:7).

When I was a baby Christian I fell all the time, however, as a mature Christian woman I fall much less and not as hard. I regroup and get my focus back on God's truth much quicker. I share my pitfalls to encourage others and let them know that we're only human and that's why we need Jesus. His grace, mercy, kindness, tenderness, long-suffering.... is simply who He is - a God that intimately loves us and will NEVER leave us or forsake us, ever.

My Psalm

I learned years ago that when I felt down or overwhelmed that I should journal those feelings. We need to see our emotions in writing so we can capture them and deal with them. Otherwise, they just circle around, uncontrolled and overwhelm us. I realized that just writing my feelings was only half of my story. I had to begin to tell my emotions the truth from scripture. Every doubt, fear, sadness, shame... had to have a counter-weight scripture of truth to put it in perspective. Our journaling should be written like a Psalm. At first, we pour out our lamentations then we conclude with God's truth, His Word, His promises! We're human and we have feelings. We must be honest with ourselves when we feel such child-like emotions. Put them out there for Jesus to go through with you and to begin the healing process. He wants to get us THROUGH the process of healing, NOT OVER IT. Pour out your emotions and feelings to Him and He will turn those open wounds into battle scars that we wear like badges of honor!

I've been sick for weeks now and I'm feeling weak, lonely and sad. This is my Psalm for today.

Hear my cry my Savior, bend down so I can feel your breath. I miss you so much. I have been in this foreign land away from you and my tears run like a river. My bones hurt and my mind burns. Being absent from the Lover of my Soul is too much. I lay in the darkness and cry because I’m so lonely and long to look into your eyes. Oh, to feel your arms around me would heal me. Where are you? I cannot rise from my bed, everything hurts and I’m consumed by sadness. This world is becoming increasingly scary and my fears are mounting. I feel my fear more than you and that scares me. This illness has me feeling so vulnerable and I feel like I can't fight back. My weakness is causing me to fear.

Oh child of mine. Not only do I hear your cries but I save each tear which is more precious than diamonds. You do not feel my breath upon you because my Holy Spirit lives IN you. I live in you. The day is drawing very near when I will meet you in the clouds and we will be together forever! (1 Corinthians 15:51) You are NOT alone. You may feel lonely but your faith must remind you that I am with you always. I will never leave you or forsake you, even until the end of the world. (Deuteronomy 31:6) You are in a foreign world, you are an ambassador for me until I call you home. (2 Corinthians 5:20) I will be the rod of iron in your back to keep you upright and strong. Use the armor I gave you every day and these “feelings” will get behind you. (Ephesians 6:11) Your emotions will send you spiraling downwards, whereas, your faith will rise you above the clouds! This world is infected with sin and that sin takes a toll but I have overcome sin and death. Where ever you are, I am the strength in your weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:7)

My daughter, 

Your honesty and my truth will heal many. I will personally deliver these words of hope to exactly who needs it.

Jesus