The pain of unresolved issues seems to torment us. We get this idea that if we just put our hand in front of God and tell him to step back because we've got this handled, that we can fix it. It doesn't take long for us to realize that we can't. We can't change a person's heart or mind. We are not equipped to know a person's deepest hurts or what lies in their heart. We want so badly to fix the situation but it is so hard to just leave it before him and trust him. We simply just want the pain to stop.
What we forget sometimes is that God can fix anything in a blink of an eye. However, he has to work with stubborn people who want their own way and they want it now. In reality, God is never working on the people that we're having problems with without working on us at the same time. Now he has two people that want their own way and all involved are getting mad at God because he's not answering their prayer the way they want him to.
I have been learning a deep lesson recently concerning all of this. I keep giving this situation to God but it feels like it just jumps back in my boat, which is my mind, and it flops around driving me crazy. The lessons I have been learning is that God wants to change me as much as he wants to change other people.
When we reel it back in it's because we want control. We have not learned to still our heart and our mind and to trust that God is going before us to win the battle. It's an issue of lack of trust and control.
When it jumps back in your boat that is God saying I need you to look at this more closely. You're blaming and pointing fingers but are you showing this other person the grace that I've shown you when you were unsufferable? Are you open to loving this person like I have loved you unconditionally?
Practicing self-righteousness or seeking God's righteousness is a choice that we have to make. If the fish keeps jumping in your boat it's because GOD wants to deal with your heart. If you keep reeling the fish in it's because YOU want to deal with someone else's heart.
We are all sinners and we all fall short of the Glory of God. (Romans 3:23). But Lord, what are we to do? His answer is clear and that is to repent of our own judgments and to forgive the other of any transgressions.
Boundaries regarding abuse or molestation are a whole other conversation. But when it comes to being obedient to Christ rather than our own pride we are called to act like Christ did. He sought his Father's counsel, spoke the truth in love, forgave his enemies, whether they accepted his grace or not and he moved on in love, grace and mercy.
It says in 1st Corinthians 13:4-8, Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
I've read this scripture hundreds and hundreds of times yet, I fail at perfecting these qualities. It's because Christ is the only one who is perfect. Our life here on earth is about surrendering to him and asking him to bless us with a mind and heart that are more like his. Each time we choose to surrender to him he grows us a little more into his image. Our desire should be to have a hunger and a thirst to be more like him and less like us. That fulfillment comes when we open our Bibles, spend time with him, pray to him, and desire his will more than our own.
We can do it the easy way or the hard way. We can change or remain. We can grow or we can be stagnant. We can be filled with joy and goodness or we can be filled with resentment and anger. Like mother Teresa said, "It is never between us and the other person, it is always between us and God."
This world right now is filled with so much division and hatred. But God is very clear in his word that people will know us by our love for each other. (John 13:35). God is urging his children to put aside our petty differences and quarrels. He's asking us to examine ourselves first and then to forgive others for their shortcomings. May we all take this to heart and desire this with all of our heart.
Luke 6:7, Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Matthew 6:14,15, Forgive others and your Heavenly Father will forgive you.
We have to answer these simple questions, "Would we rather be right or loved?" "Would we rather have peace in our mind and heart or turmoil and angst? Will we choose resentment over Joy?" "Do we want to be right with God or just right?"
There is no honest and pure conversation while someone is holding a sword. Both parties need to set down there weapons and choose love, resolve and forgiveness or there will be no healing.
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