If you think that they weren't saved when they died then you have to remember that God visits everyone before they die (psalm 48:14b). I know this from experience and from stories from many people. He visits them because he desires that no one should perish. Find comfort in that. If your loved one died but they suffered, remember that when Steven was being stoned (Acts 7:56), heaven opened up and he saw the face of Jesus. Your loved ones are no longer in pain and they wouldn't want you to be in pain, so miss them and grieve their loss but don't feel their pain. They are free now. Rejoice in that for them. And above all, we will all be together again one day living in his glory! So, take your pain and sorrow to him and let him comfort you. The sin of this world is what causes pain but Jesus is coming back, Justice will be done and we have eternity to be together basking in nothing but joy.
Psalm 34:14, God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Revelation 21:4, He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain...
2 Peter 3:9, .. God is patient and desires no one to perish...
My mother died when I was young and I miss her everyday. I used to blame God but in his great loving kindness he showed me the truth I spoke about above. He showed me his enduring love that pursues us until the very last chance for people to accept his gift of salvation. He never ever ever gives up on a soul. People may reject him even until the end but he never stops pursuing his creation with his love. No one is ever hopeless as long as God is there.
Shalom
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