There's a difference between reading your bible and when God reads it to you. Often it's a chore that we check off our list to get on with our day. Sometimes it serves as a ritual that we do before collapsing in bed because we're so tired. We develop this inner belief that it's good for us to have his Word in us, and it is. However, we know deep down when it is living water and when it is still waters. We know when we are simply reading and when we are being spoken to by the Holy Spirit. There are times when God seems so far away and we feel so alone. It's like the Living Word isn't quenching us. We feel parched, paralysed and in a desolate place. Lonely, shattered, vulnerable and panicking in the darkness. Has God left?
NO, he has not left. His Word says, "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5). I have learned through my "desert experiences" that is when he is the closest. I don't FEEL him but because he has taken me there so many times, by the grace of God, I've learned that my TRUTH IS IN CHRIST. My feelings cannot be trusted but The Living Word, who is Christ, can ALWAYS be trusted. When you are in a desert period of your life you must change the dialogue of your inner voice. Change your why? to what?. What do you want to accomplish in me Lord? Rather than crying out, "WHYYYYY? Why me Lord???? "Ask him, "WHERE do you want to take me?" We are never in a situation that he will not use to mature us for the betterment of our lives. A fantastic book to help with this is "Telling Yourself the Truth" by Marie Chapian and Jim Backus. I started saying, "Praise you Lord." instead of complaining. I also acknowledge his great love for me as opposed to blaming him for my pain. I try to laugh when things seem out of control because I know through his Word that He is faithful and present with me and already knows the outcome. (Scriptures, Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 115:3, Psalm 22:1-2, Psalm 46, Romans 8:28, Ephesians 1:11, Proverbs 19:21, Colossians 1:17, Jeremiah 10:23...) I fail sometimes but not like I used to. He has grown me and I am so much happier.
What I mean by maturing us is that God wants us to be warriors not wimps. His desire is that we will not be shaken to despair but to be awakened to his strength in us. He doesn't want us living lives that are so fragile that at the first sign of trouble we buckle. His will is that we would know who we are IN HIM and go boldly into the tasks he calls us to. Do you put The Armor of God on in the morning? (Ephesians 6:10-18) Before your feet hit the floor in the morning say, "Today I put on the full Armor of God, I gird my waist with the belt of TRUTH, I place the breastplate of God's righteousness on, I shod my feet with the gospel of peace and above all I take up the shield of faith which will extinguish ALL of the fiery missiles from the evil one; I place upon my head the helmet of Salvation and I take up the sword of the Spirit (the Word of God) ..." We must remember that our battles in life are not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 12). We do not serve a God who sends out immature, unwise, unprepared children out into a savage world. We serve a God who trains, equips, provides and goes into battle ahead of us. That is the assurance we have so we can confidently take on any calling.
God is the best parent. God knows exactly how long we need to be in the fire to be refined. He is waiting on us to trust him no matter how dark it may get. When he can see his image in our metal, that is when he pulls us out. He doesn't do this work all at once but like a silversmith he will keep purifying us in stages. That kind of faith takes maturity and wisdom from a human. Placing ourselves or our children completely in God's hands is an act of obedience. I recently went through a devastating situation with my sister. I wanted so badly to pull her from the furnace of her troubles but God made it very clear to me that I needed to leave her alone with only God to lean on. So many people run as fast as they can from times of being in the wilderness or long stretches of dark roads. But, that is where God teaches us our greatest lessons. For years I was angry at God for all the hard times but he refused to leave me stagnant in my weaknesses. Each lesson changed me from a quivering, angry, fearful child to a woman now who is clothed in strength and dignity, who laughs without fear of the future. (Proverbs 31:25).
Life without trusting God is a life of fear. A mature life which has surrendered to God and trusts him is a life of hope. Walk boldly to the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16) and request that he take you on a journey of spiritual growth. A wonderful book to read about this topic is an allegorical novel titled, "Hind's Feet in High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. We're only human and to not want to go on an unknown journey where we know we're going to have to leave our comfort zone is not something we all want to step forward to take on. I fought God for years and what I learned was that the more we complain, kick and holler the slower the trip to the land of milk and honey is. No one ever promised us a comfortable, carefree and trial-free life. I always say, "The trip from Egypt (slavery) to the Promised Land(freedom) was only about eleven days but it took forty years because of their disobedient, stubborn, complaining attitudes. God's work is not to get us from point A to B as soon as possible. He walks with us, talks to us, challenges us, teaches us... It's all about the time he wants to spend with us and our willingness to follow him.
We all have places in our hearts and lives where we don't want Jesus to come into. However, he will not leave a closet uncleaned. The work of the Holy Spirit is continuous in us but getting into our dark closets needs a welcome mat from us. God only changes us as fast as we allow him. The conviction of the Holy Spirit is powerful in our lives but with some places in our lives we smother that still, small voice. Choices like busyness, shopping/spending, achieving, indulging... we prioritize the noise of this world over stillness. Busyness turns our backs to the goodness of change in our lives. Whereas, slowing down and being more aware faces us towards positive changes. The questions are, will we trust God with the life he gave us or will we hop on the pride train of distractions? Will we face him or avoid him? Will we live as if this earthly life is the only life we'll ever have? Or, will we let him train us to be his Ambassadors here to prepare others for the eternal life to come? Will we learn to love him or will we never get to truly know him and fear him with an unhealthy fear? The final question though, will we desire to hear those words from God, "Job well done my good and faithful servant." or "Depart from me for I do not know you." God does not throw people into hell. His desire is for ALL to be saved. Will you trust him, believe in him, invite him into your heart and life? Will you walk with him? Will you let him teach you and grow you? Will you go and tell the good news to others? It's by his blood that we are saved. The only way to the Father is through the son. Our lives are given to us by a loving Creator and all he asks for is that we desire to get to know him and live in relationship with him as we tell others about this free gift of love and life. Will you?
