Every day I see God in everything.
It’s been a month and
a half since I moved from California to Upstate New York. The leaves have gone
and bare branches now have their arms stretched out catching snowflakes. We’ve
had snow storms, warm days, winds and fog. The deer have paraded their families
then hid for days. I’ve seen fox shoot across the yard in a gallop and other
days they stand and stare for the longest time. Some days the bird feeder outside the window is a local hotspot whereas other days all have flown the coop for fairer estates. Every day brings changes not
only in my surroundings but in my heart and life.
I have suffered the pain of exhaustion and the peace of
stillness while here. The flu has visited yet I know now that it will move on. Today I
realized that I am not the same person that left California. My journey has
crested the mountaintop for now and I feel the cool breeze and momentum of the
downward ride. My hopelessness and sorrow have been cremated and from those
ashes my spirit has risen. My mind is filled with assuredness and praise even
when I see depression passing by my door. Everything is new and so much change
brings anxiety but now it knows its place. Hope is the icing over my realities
and it tastes so sweet.
Are there the old things waiting? Right there, but I don’t
accept the ride anymore. My choices are clean and precise like praise over pain
and gratitude rather than complaints. The cold feels refreshing and not lonely
and my heart is above my body breathing in the air that I was deprived of for
so long. Was it kept from me or did I choose not to breathe it? I don’t know
except that I’m breathing it now and I feel alive. The stale, still presence of
hopelessness is cleared and every cell is awash with refreshing hope! I love my new life. I love
that the sadness has dissipated. Deep, deep within my soul I have joy and hope.
For the first time I know He loves me! Shameless, guiltless and loved. All is well.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV), Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the
new creation
has
come: The old has gone, the new is here!
I don't know why things happen in our lives that don't make sense. I do know that we have a choice of how we will accept them as they come though. Most of my pain came not from my circumstances but from my fight against accepting them. It was never about God being mean or unfair....it was all about me not surrendering and trusting Him with everything. Now that I live in the middle of nature at its finest....I see more clearly now what it means to rest in our Creator.
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