Script from the Sky

The thought came to me like a bright exploding bolide. Its truth blinded me and shocked me at first but I knew it had to be. "Turn your life completely upside down, mix it up and trust God where the pieces fall!", the inner voice said to me. Alright, I'll take that challenge, I'll go forward boldly and not let fear stop me. Next thing I knew we had bought a house 3000 miles away.

Along this journey I have had numerous anxiety attacks and mini breakdowns. The physical exhaustion of packing, the grueling mental fatigue, not to mention the emotional currents all seemed at times to be too much to battle. Yet with each one I sought support from my Lord, my friends, my kids and my husband, and they all lifted me up, encouraged me and set me back on my path. I had allowed life to suffocate me, depress me and discourage me to the point where I just isolated myself from everything. I had become bitter, sad, fatalistic and joyless. Then, God sent the meteor into my soul and woke me up! I went from wanting to die to wanting to live!

God allows us to go through many things in life and His desire is to display His mighty love and power to us through those trials. Sadly, we choose so often to go our own way. We choose pity parties, selfishness, stubbornness, pride, anger, distractions, busyness, depression, discouragement.... We blind ourselves to His glory. Ephesians 3:20-21 states, "To Him (Jesus) who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory." WE MISS OUT ON SO MUCH BECAUSE WE CHOOSE DOUBT OVER TRUST! He is able. Are you able to trust Him? Are you able to choose "the good part"?

I chose the bad part for way to long but God being the Master Redeemer, used all my choices to teach me and mature me. He didn't waste one opportunity and never gave up on me. He believed in me when I didn't believe in Him. There will always be ups and downs in life but I believe God desires us to find a happy middle. A place where we acknowledge the pain but take joy in His love. A place where we look at the good in our life but feel empathy for and serve those who are down. A place where we find rest and peace in His presence even when a storm is raging around us. A place where we walk beside Him, not anxiously ahead or fearfully behind.

I'M CHOOSING TO LIVE and I'm so excited! As fears keep jumping in front of me and saying scary things about "the what ifs" in life, I just say, "Get out of my way cause I'm coming through!" Each time I do that, each time I think positive rather than negative, each time I choose life, my physical body heals. I was crippled and now I'm running (figuratively)! How sad that I let my mind and my fears rob me for so many years. That's the past though and I don't live there anymore! All that stinkin thinkin effected my health and it's amazing to me now that by just changing my thoughts and choosing life....I'm feeling wonderful and my heart is filled with hope!

Beloved, it says in Proverbs that a happy heart is like good medicine. Choose forgiveness, humility, joy and love over holding a grudge or believing that someone actually wins when there is a test of wills. It's all a waste of time and life. Let Christ into your heart and mind and let Him change you into His image. It's the only winning solution....trust me. We can't do it perfectly but we can desire it and work at it. My husband's brother who is "special in needs" lives with us and his upbeat, happy, funny and positive ways challenge me daily to get over the small stuff and just smile instead! I was terrified at first to become his full-time caregiver but now I can't imagine life without him. It's like having a life size teddy bear who is always happy, thoughtful and funny. Our fears are just doubts in action, so don't fuel them anymore. Choose your attitude wisely because your mind-frame will set the stage for your life's play!

Psalm 84:5-6, Blessed are those whose strength is in the Lord....As they pass through the Valley of Baca (the valley of weeping), they make it a place of springs.

For What?

Yesterday I was really wiped out physically from all the packing. I'm doing all this with a couple bruised ribs and of course, my lower back went out on top of it. So, I chose the wise thing to do and I rested. I've had a blog post started for about a week now and didn't have time to work on it so what better time to focus and finish it. I spend all day and labored over this precious message that I know God himself gave to me. It was clever, poignant, and full of meaning....and in a matter of a second.....it was erased. My computer froze and in the process of re-booting, the entire post was wiped out.

At first I was in shock that a piece of my soul, mind and spirit, not to mention the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, just evaporated. Then, sorrow paid a visit and I could feel the tears burning as if they were rising from my gut. How could this have happened? Why? Why Lord, would you let all that effort and blessing from Your Holy Spirit just disintegrate? As the evening went on, it all turned into anger, then rage, as I visualized me hacking up my computer with a sharp axe! I couldn't let go of it and it was eating me up.

A good night's sleep guided me to the morning and of course, the first thing I thought of was, the lost blog post! I could feel my jaws clench and my attitude grow sour as I recalled the event of the previous day. "There's no way I'm going to carry this another day Lord. Help me." and I grabbed my daily devotional. Why am I surprised that it spoke directly to my heart? Every time I turn to God, He meets me right where I am and meets my need completely. Every time, and this morning was no different as the words on the page jumped into my heart and mind with accurate aim and healed my bitter soul. The reading went on to speak of a preacher/missionary who gave his life to God but died very young. The gist of it was...."Where was the purpose in the loss?"

Loss...it's such an awful word, and my least favorite word in our vocabulary. Loss is painful, grueling, it seems to be not fair, full of bitterness and the embryo to pain. My loss was insignificant when compared to what the victims of Storm Sandy are going through. It is a spit in the bucket when I judge it next to what my sister is going through with her husband's kidney failing. But, loss is loss, and all loss needs to be grieved! No matter how small or seemingly insignificant it is, we must respect it and grieve it or else it gets buried deep into our psyche and only causes deeper problems.

Although our losses are to be dealt with on a minute by minute basis, allowing God to comfort us and heal us, it is the collateral damage of the loss that needs to be released. Carrying bitterness, anger and resentment only causes us to break down and renders us ill in the matters of healing. Letting go of the barnacles that grow upon our spirits is crucial to being able to handle loss. They serve as only weights that pull us down and leave us drowning in emotions. I found myself this morning asking, "For what?", "Why should I bother pouring my heart out through the written word to just have it consumed by a technological entity!" But God spoke to me this morning telling me through His written word that He has a higher purpose. My lost blog post was lost to Him and it wasn't in vain if I choose to do all things for His glory and not mine.

Beloved, whatever your loss is, loose it unto Him. His mighty, loving hands hold all our sorrows and He saves every tear. He has a higher intention and until we learn to trust Him in all things we will just go about life carrying a sad sack of regrets. Today I choose to see the lost words of my heart laying at His feet. I choose to trust Him and surrender my anger, knowing that He cares for me. I choose to not run to the alter of pride and entitlement but lay prostate before the King of Kings and let Him love me. There are two directions we can go, one is to self, where we focus only on our needs and the other is to God, where all our needs are met. The only true loss is the surrender of our desires, yet, He will fill us and move us forward to do His will....not ours.

Carry on Christian soldiers, unhindered and unafraid.

It matters not how the battle goes, The day how long; Faint not! Fight on! Tomorrow comes the song.

Isaiah 45:11, Concerning the work of my hands command ye me.

Hard Won

Great truths are greatly won, not found by chance, nor wafted on the breath of summer dream; but grasped in the great struggle of our soul, hard buffeting with adverse wind and stream. Author unknown

I awoke this morning as I have been the last few days, at 5 am. The emotions are running high due to the impending move across country. I chose this day though, to arise to a crisp early morning and go to our quiet family room and turn on the warm light, look at some country decor books and read my daily devotional. My expectations were high of having a cuddly serene time on my couch with my cup of coffee and the peace of being alone. Within moments my dogs were rustling and my adorable little Yorkshire Terrier started crawling all over me acting strange. Then as she looked up at me with her sweet face, she threw up all over me and the couch! Within a few minutes my husband came out of the bedroom to start his day and all I could think was, "Seriously!" All I wanted was some serene time in a picture perfect setting and BAM, life was rolling!

I could feel a spirit of anger and frustration come over me as I scrubbed the couch and myself. My quiet morning now had the sound of  dishes being washed and the smell of cleaning products! I wanted to scream, "Can't I even have two minutes to myself!" but instead I chose to go sit outside for a few minutes and pray. "Lord", I said, "I am so tired and stressed from packing and all I wanted was some peace! Can't I have a little normal?" As soon as I murmured those words I heard the sweet voice of the Holy Spirit in my heart whisper, "This is normal."

I have lived my life with the notion that "normal" was something that was realistic and attainable. The events that happened this morning were actually a blessing to my soul. God gave me a lesson and I realized that this lesson will carry me when I otherwise would choose to fall. Normal is all the clammer and happenings that go on in a day. Abnormal is when they aren't happening as part of our life! It's really the abnormal that we should be desiring! The gifts that God gives us are not uninterrupted moments but moments that we allow Him to interrupt! Our greatest blessings are found in Him through the distractions of life.

How many times in our life can we look back on and say, "I wish I did that different." How many times have we let the distractions, mishaps and interruptions of life cause us to take our frustrations out on our loved ones, friends, co-workers or even strangers? I have a quote over my desk that reads, "This is not a disaster....it's an inconvenience!" Friends, let's learn to take a deep breath when life goes awry. Let us learn from the Master, Jesus, who longs to teach us how to take life in stride and keep our peace of soul composed when life becomes bumpy. Pull away from the circumstance and draw near to the Prince of Peace. Women who have children tugging at you, secure the kids and then take even a couple minutes to put some Christian music on in the house. Go and hide in the bathroom for a few moments and keep a daily devotional in there or a bible or journal. Men, go out to the garage or take a short walk before your fuse hits the powder. Anything is better than hurting ourselves or someone else with words of anger. Breath and pray.

Ephesians 6:12 states, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." This paragraph goes on to describe to believers how to put on the armor of God. I suggest reading it for it is our only hope in a world of constant attacks. Satan's only goal is to get people to believe that God won't help them. That they are alone and helpless with their life. Don't let that lie rob you of all God wants for you. When life goes crazy don't blame God, blame the evil one that seeks only to rob and destroy. God is our refuge and He came to save not tear down the ones He loves.

Another thing that I learned this morning is to laugh more. Life and all its troubles and frustrations can weight us down to a point where we become cave dwellers. Laughter lifts us up to the sky where there is fresh air and views of hope! Learning to laugh and smile helps us to not take ourselves or inconveniences so seriously. Pride and entitlement can be an awful trigger to anger and selfish behavior! Change your pride to prayer.

These battles are not easy, they are hard won. But, with a commitment to choose God in the ludicrous events of life we can find wisdom rather than foolishness, peace as opposed to frustration and joy instead of anger. Beloved, in every trial and situation there is a sweet lesson from God that can take our character from one of poor stature to one of integrity. Choose this day who you will serve, the god of this earth who brings frustration, anger, malice, pride, regret, sorrow, shame....OR the God of love, who desires to transform you into a person gifted with wisdom, adorned with honor, instilled with peace and overflowing with joy. Knock each small frustration down with a prayer before they build up and make you act unbecomingly.

1 John 3:1, "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" 

Prince of Peace

God is so good! He assuages our fears and replaces our anxieties with His peace. One prayer at a time He is faithful and powerful to lift our spirits by filling us with His Spirit of comfort and strength. How many moments in our life do we waste because we hold on to our worries and not set them at His feet of grace?

Last week we went to NY and visited our son and his family. While there we ended up buying a house! In a matter of a few days we had made a decision that would change every paradigm in our lives. Needless to say, the anxiety started rolling over us like category five hurricane winds. The old me would be curled up in a ball mumbling like a shell shocked soldier but God knew what was in our future and I can see so clearly how He prepared me for this monumental change. I trust Him now like never before and truly believe that all His intentions for me are good ones. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I (God), know the plans I have for you, they are plans to prosper you, not harm you, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when u pray, I will listen. You will find me when you seek me, if you look for me with all your heart." There has never been a time when I sought God and He wasn't there for me!

Our new journey will bring waves of doubt, fear, anxiety, confusion, exhaustion....but our God is bigger than all those things, even if they all hit at the same time! Isaiah 41:10 says, "Do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Zephaniah 3:17, "I am with you, I am mighty to save. I will take great delight in you. I will quiet you with My love. I will rejoice over you with singing." Beloved, God is singing over you!

Before we left for NY God gave me a scripture that proved to be a lifeline! I read it from a book and forgot where it was exactly in the bible but memorized it, "For I am the Lord your God who holds your right hand, and who says to you, "Do not be afraid, I will help you." Through the entire week I paraphrased it as if Jesus were standing right next to me and looking down at me. I kept looking up at Him and picturing Him smiling down at me saying, "Come on little one, I'm your God, take my right hand, don't be afraid because I'm with you all the way and I'll help you with everything." The Sunday after we got to NY I decided to stay home (at my son's house) and just rest with the Lord while the others went to church. I took my son's bible and opened it and there was that scripture! Isaiah 41:13, the Word that God had personally given to me was right there before me! That was not a coincidence! Our God is a personal God who speaks to us if we seek Him!

As I read many chapters in Isaiah, God spoke to me in waves of love as He unfolded scripture after scripture to me of His great and powerful promises. Isaiah 26:3,4 - Isaiah 45:3,4, "I have carried you since your birth...I will continue to be with you and sustain you, even when you are old. I will always carry you; I will always sustain you; I will always rescue you. Keep your mind focused on Me and I will keep you in perfect peace." I encourage you to read the book of Isaiah in the Old Testament, chapters 40-66 and glean from it what God wants to say to you personally. Underline the parts that speak to your heart, write some on note cards and put them in your car, on your bathroom mirror, next to your bed, by your kitchen sink or on your desk. Let God's Word sink deep into you and grow deep roots that no storm can uproot!

Do you need peace? Then seek the Prince of Peace and He will be right there to rescue you. Matthew chapter 14, verses 23-33, Night fell, and out on the lake the disciples were in trouble. For the wind had risen and they were fighting heavy seas. About four o'clock in the morning Jesus came to them, walking on the water! They screamed in terror, for they thought He was a ghost. But Jesus immediately spoke to them, reassuring them. "Don't be afraid." He said. Then Peter called to Him, "Sir, if it is really you, tell me to come over to you, walking on the water." "All right," the Lord said, "come along!" So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But, when he looked around at the high waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me Lord!" he shouted. INSTANTLY, Jesus reached out His hand and rescued him. "O man of little faith," Jesus said. "Why did you doubt me?" And when they had climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. The others sat there, awestruck. "You really are the Son of God!" they exclaimed.

Beloved, If you cry out to Jesus, He will be there instantly to rescue you. It may seem as though your circumstances aren't changing sometimes but think of how many ways we need to be rescued!  He will lift your head when you feel downcast, fill your empty soul, quench your needs, carry you through, give you peace in the storm, send a kind person, give you a worthy task to keep you busy through a mentally or emotionally trying time....He will always be there.

Prince of Peace, Lover of my Soul,

There is no place You will not go;

To rescue me and comfort me,

Whatever my fear, I am not alone.

I will keep you in perfect peace if you will keep your mind steadfast on Me and always trust Me...I am a Rock you can always stand on. Isaiah 26:3-4

Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength!