Forgive! Why?!

Luke 6:45, "A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you speak flows from what is in your heart."

We are not even aware of how deep our emotions are embedded in our hearts. This labyrinth of hurts, twists and turns within our hearts to places hidden from our own minds. In good conscience we try to forgive as to set our minds free of turmoil but beyond our efforts the sticky emotions of past pain find recesses that are beyond our reach. These deep-seated resentments tune our hearts to play a low and distressing song which reveals itself in our personalities. Most often it takes a word or situation to set these particles of pain into a tornado of speech that spews from our lips. In the aftermath we ask ourselves, "How could I have exploded like that?" or "Where did that come from?" These questions of the heart should be taken to God for only He knows the way to these dark places and has the love to heal them.

Most people shake it off and board up the entrance to the dark mine from which those unmentionables came from. "That will never happen again.", we tell ourselves. But, the God who loves you does not want you to live with unsettled pain that can be triggered. He wants to set you free (John 8:31b-32), "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." The crippled emotions that hide deep within us can define us and skew the image of Christ that is seen in our lives. Or, they can be healed, allowing a clear view of our loving Savior and the freedom He brings His children.

In one scenario we live our lives and are viewed by others as chained dogs that scratch and bark for freedom. We are bound to a stake in the ground and those viewing us see no freedom gifted to us by our Redeemer. We speak of a God who sets us free yet we live in bondage to matters of the heart that spill through our lips. Our actions and words display brokenness, anger, bitterness, jealousy, and a myriad of strongholds. Some dig in their feet and fight the Savior, blaming Him for their uncontrolled emotions. They convince themselves that it is God who has made them this way and will not help them. Others may curl up and give up, living a life of depression and hopelessness. They feel unworthy of God's love and become martyrs of self-pity. Most though,  just choose a life either absent of God or a life of mediocrity, a lukewarm existence of turning your face away from any dealings with God.

There is a better way though and it leads to freedom. No more depression, self-pity, anger outbursts, bad habits ... just a journey of dropping baggage and acquiring new garments. Taking off the grave clothes and putting on a robe of righteousness. It is a journey that is uphill but it will build new character, new muscle, new joy. The defeated way only offers atrophy of mind, body and spirit. A disintegrating life that keeps you walking the same circles but with less integrity each time. True freedom is when we allow the Master to go where only He can go and heal what only He can heal. Followers of Christ know that it's through being broken and rebuilt that we find our true selves in Christ. Going through this life trying with our own might to repair ourselves only proves futile when those broken areas after time reveal their weaknesses again.

Do I sit here writing to you as a perfect person who has the right to preach to others about their brokenness? I am not perfect, far from it, but I can talk from my heart to you about anger, shame, bad habits and so much more because all of those things have been my struggles. Yet, I attest that they are so greatly diminished in my character because of God's grace. I stopped fighting Him and I'm finally letting Him have His way with me. Surrender is the key. Loosening our grip on the injustices that we hold so close to our hearts is the first step.

Isaiah 61:1b says, "He (The Father) has sent me (Jesus) to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners..." Our pastor spoke on this Sunday and explained this verse. Prisoners are held in chains for wrong doing whereas captives are held in chains by an oppressor. Christ offered not freedom from chains to the prisoner but freedom from darkness. Although they have to serve physically for their crime they do not have to serve a spiritual sentence. Their hearts can be set free from their bondage of sin even while incarcerated physically. A pure heart of repentance is all it takes.

On the other hand, a captive for example, could be someone affected by the criminals actions and the hate and unforgiveness in their heart holds them captive to an unsettled heart and mind. The inferno of contempt eats them alive and they suffer not only spiritually but mentally, emotionally and physically. They harbor revenge which makes their entire being a cauldron of seething anger. They are  consumed with the injustice while their heart and mind slowly dims of the light of peace.

Whether a prisoner or a captive, Christ offers to bind up our broken hearts offering us freedom from the deterioration of sin. Unforgiveness is as inexcusable as murder to God. Each is unacceptable and must be dealt with. Our choice is to take responsibility and accept God's offer to heal us or the other option is to hold on to our sin and let it be dealt with when it's too late for our souls to be set free from it.

Matthew 6:15 says, "But if you do not forgive others of their sins, your Father in Heaven will not forgive your sins." Deuteronomy 32:35 states, "Vengeance is mine says the Lord..." Children of God, You can "control" whether you forgive, BUT, if you choose anger, then you have handed control over to satan. You will be a captive and live a life unfamiliar with God's grace and peace. Forgiveness is hard but all Christ requires is a heart that desires to want to be obedient to Him in this area. Go to Him with only that and He will do the rest. There was no more unfair circumstance than when Christ suffered for our sins, yet, He forgave.

Luke 6:45, "For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart."

Isaiah 41:18b, "I (the Lord) will turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs." God can turn our hardened hearts into lush fields of peace. Could you use some peace?

Suggested reading: How to Forgive When You Don't Feel Like It, by June Hunt

Wash Me

Have you you ever wished that God would shower you off on the inside? When life's pressures, pains and sufferings mount up in our minds and spill into our emotional pool, we feel a film of dirt on our soul that robs our peace. Situations in our environment convolute our clear thinking causing us to muddle our thoughts with worry, anger and regret as we go through our day or try to go to sleep. Our minds become a sewage processing plant and no human effort can stop its churning.

Over the weekend I worked in the garden and needless to say I was covered in dirt. I couldn't wait to conclude my day with a cool, soapy shower. I love the whole process of "dolling up" sometimes but there's nothing like a simple good scrubbing and then gobbing lotion all over clean skin and leaving it at that. As I was showering and thinking about some current problems, my mind thought of how nice it would be if we could just scrub our consciences and thoughts, then, rub a healing balm on and just start anew.

May times my mind feels like a pinball machine with constant action going on. Relentless thoughts and worries about safety issues, salvation for lost souls, fear of the future, shame of the past, current sufferings... I find my body exhausted while my mind races on. Not every moment is like that but when it does get in that state it seems impossible to put the brakes on.

The current terror event in Orlando, Florida, where 50 people were shot to death and approximately 50 more hospitalized was a stunningly shocking jolt as the details reverberated through news and social media. No matter how far removed you are from such horror it still haunts the mind and emotions. There is an inner disturbance of the soul as our minds try desperately to make sense of the senseless. Our children ask questions and in our attempts to calm them we drink from the cup of our condolences just to relieve our own confusion.

This world is like a tsunami of unreasonable circumstances that keep our minds in constant flux about whether to exhale or hold our breath. We ask ourselves if it's alright to relax and feel joy or should we be on guard not only in our physical world but also in our prayers. Our eyes jart about in suspicion while our minds teeter with the thought of whether today we will live or die. Our souls are dirty with the realities of evil, mud smeared windows that we are forced to look at life through. Because we are lovers of life and appreciate the gifts of hope and peace, these lovers of evil, who live to destroy, then die, are nothing more than stains that won't come out.

Can God keep our windows clean when mud is constantly being flung at us? Can our souls know purity and peace in a filthy world? Can we live a life of joy when wolves are prowling around us?  Of course. Our choice with no uncertain terms is to live free, experience every moment, have laughter on our lips and joy in our hearts and we can live this way by casting our cares upon God (1 Peter 5:7) "Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you."). Moment by moment, every day, week after week for the duration of our grace given life. Soaking ourselves in Gods beautiful Word, dwelling in His presence through prayer, our fellowship with other believers are all blessings that loosen the caked on mud. John 14:27 says, "My peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Just as we would soak our bodies in a bath tub, we are given a spiritual bath to soak in through Gods Holy Spirit. As our thoughts become consumed through the news of evil encroaching, we can process that information for the purpose of offering prayers while at the same time soaking in Gods Word so that it doesn't stain our souls. If we try to live absent of practicing these blessings that God has given to us then we are just children covered in the mud of fear and worry.

Psalm 92:4-8, For You make me glad by Your deeds, O Lord; I sing for joy at the work of Your hands. How great are Your works O Lord, how profound Your thoughts! The senseless man does not know, fools do not understand, that though the wicked spring up like grass and all evildoers flourish, they will be forever destroyed. But You O Lord, will be exalted forever.

Wash us Lord, from the inside out with the anointing of your Holy Spirit. I know this world and it's sinful ways grieve your heart, so let your tears of compassion for your children also wash us clean. Don't let the stains of this world askew our view of the blessings and joys that you want us to see. Use even our own tears to wash us as we are moved to great emotion over the cruelty in this world and disregard for life. Wash us clean Lord, with the tears of those who who hold us and comfort us in our times of pain and sorrow. Wash us, O Lord.

Matthew 8:2, A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. "I am wiling." He said, "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.

Thank you sweet Jesus for making us clean.

Vortex

I remember as a kid we would play in my neighbors above ground, round swimming pool. We would run along the inner side, pushing our legs through the water until we created a vortex that swirled counter clock-wise, then, we would lift our feet and let the current pull us around. After a few minutes we would then start running clock-wise and push with all our might to reverse the spin to go the opposite direction. This metaphor is a perfect example of what we should do with our torrential thoughts when they get us swirling.

The enemy of our souls works hard by infiltrating our mind with thoughts that God will not be there for us. We are all familiar with sleepless nights and long days of worry. It feels as though our minds are being carried off in a riptide and the panic of drowning takes over all our senses. I'm familiar with the experience of almost drowning and it's terrifying. The currents were like invisible vines that wrapped around my extremities, pulling me down while I realized that there was nothing to grab onto! The waves relentlessly crashed over me, wearing me out and I remember my last word before going under, "Help!" Within seconds my friend Daniel had swam to me and rescued me from the oceans grasp. There will be circumstances where we can firmly plant our feet and then begin pushing in reverse by using the tools that God has given us to fight with. Then, there will be times when a trauma renders us paralyzed and only a call out of "Help!" to the Savior will deliver us. Matthew 14:22,23 tells the story of such a time.

Under more manageable situations we can determine in our hearts to push against the mind-sets that the enemy tries to plant. Through daily devotion with God we can accomplish that behavioral change and live a more victorious life. But, in this sinful, treacherous world there will be riptides of terror, illness, lost loved ones... that simply cannot be managed but require a Savior to plunge His hand of mercy into our turbulent waters and rescue us. Only Christ can calm the seas, (Mark 4:35-41).

Asking Christ to calm our seas can go a few ways. Jesus can literally calm a storm in it's tracks which He did in the presence of His disciples as told in Mark chapter 4. Christ can also calm our fears through a storm by giving us assurance during our storm, as told in Acts 27, when the Apostle Paul was assured of deliverance for himself and his ship mates. Then, there is the command of peace to be made evident through obedience. Philippians, 4:6,7 instructs us, "Do not be anxious about anything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Our ultimate peace though is our hope of eternal salvation. The confident, bold assertion of the gift of eternal life through our Lord Jesus. Whether Christ literally calms our storm, gives us a promise of deliverance or commands us to calm down and accept His peace that is beyond our own understanding, our last and final peace comes in the recognition and acceptance of Christ's words to a repentent thief hanging on a cross next to Him at Golgotha, "This day you shall be with Me in paradise." Matthew 10:28 solidifies our eternal promise, "Don't be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body." (by our rebellion of unrepentance).

Sisters and brothers, you are not at the mercy of this worlds vortex. Christ is our Savior, our hope, our anchor. Hebrews 6:17, "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Let us in all things be sure, that we never set sail into our day without Christ in the boat.

Proverbs 21:30, "There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord."

Psalm 130:1-2, "Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; Hear my voice. Let Your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy."

John 16:33, "I (Jesus) have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Fake Fear

Often when we look at a situation in our life, its appearance seems overwhelming and too daunting to overcome. Our mind begins the dance of reason as we tell ourselves that what lies before us is too much for us. As my husband and I stood looking at our vegetable garden the other day we felt this inner struggle. The weeds had literally taken over the garden path and all of the raised beds. Even considering the thought of taking on this task was depressing us. But, we determined in our minds to start with one corner and just give it a try.

I took the spade and loosened the edges of one planter and began to pull on the garden invaders. To our surprise the weeds pulled out with ease and before we knew it the first bed was cleaned out. Together we went from bed to bed and were amazed at how what we thought was going to be horrible turned out to be laughingly easy to accomplish. In God's humorous way He began to speak to my heart about the lesson buried in my garden.

He spoke to me about the similarities between the garden soil and my hearts condition. If our hearts have good, rich soil that has been prepared by God's Holy Spirit then no matter what Satan tries to plant there it will only be an illusion of daunting fear. Satan can only try to scare us with overwhelming circumstances, he has no power to actually overwhelm us! As children of the living God, we can, in reality, only be overwhelmed by God's beautiful power! It's all determined by where we choose to gaze.

When our hearts are rich with God's truth, the weeds of Satan's deceptions cannot take root, they can only give the appearance of fear. Each day the enemy scatters his lies, yet, when we DAILY feed our minds and hearts with God's truth through His Word, fellowship and prayer, we tend the garden of our souls so that the fake fears cannot grow.

After eradicating all the weeds in our garden it became crystal clear what the purpose of the garden was. Apart from spiritually weeding our hearts garden, we cannot know our true purpose in this life. The weeds of lies and deception crowd out our true purpose. It is imperative to weed out our minds and hearts daily and then let God's Holy Spirit plant His garden of fruits in us. If our gardens are not tended then the weeds of our enemy will take over. Our lives will produce, despair, confusion, fear, selfishness, depression...BUT, if we commit ourselves to tend our gardens then God will plant love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Life is not easy but the lessons in our toil are priceless if we seek God's truth. Weeds will always come but they can only take over if our soil is untended. Let us not be defined by Satan's fake fears but let the world see the fruits of our Living God displayed in the gardens of our lives!

Galatians 6:7, "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Matthew 7:15-20, "They will know you by your fruits."

Small Steps

I woke up early but my mind just would not engage. I felt as though I was sleep walking as I roamed around the house. My only desire was to go back to bed BUT, I forced myself to go out to the garden and work for awhile. After about an hour and a half of diddling around in the sun I could feel my mind and body thanking me for pressing through. There was an evident accomplishment from my efforts that brought satifaction and that surge pushed me on to go take a vigorous hike. It was a beautiful day and the trail at the park was bursting with buds and bird songs! My morning gloom and weariness had transformed into gratitute and joy.

Making that transitional choice delivered unto me a blessing. I chose not to succumb to my desire to isolate but instead I chose to step out and see what God could do with my weary body and mind. Needless to say, when I arrived home I was tired, but it was a good tired, not a useless tired. You know the difference. Each day God gives us choices of whether to rise or fall, serve others or self-serve, rejoice or complain, accomplish or surrender... It's not to say that God doesn't have days for us to rest but will we choose a collape into exhaustion or choose to have a peaceful rest? Purposing in our heart to trust God even when we don't FEEL like it can bring joy where depression wants to linger, service where isolation is more comfortable, health where deterioration would rather settle in.

It all starts with small steps of faith.

His Offering

God's comfort, although unseen at times, yet, felt so deeply, is like that of an unexpected cool breeze or an icy drink offered on a blistering hot day. Its can bring us to tears because the relief moves us to such deep gratitude, and the kindness felt by our soul is unmatched by any earthly treasure. The sufferings are assuaged by God's grace, either through His Spirit or delivered through the hands of one of His children. The touch of God and the realization of His deep love for us is His offering of a small taste of heaven for our hope. That blessing will always remain as a hot spring of healing in our thoughts when our souls are feeling so cold.

God has given me some wisdom as to why I felt so alone and why He felt so far away. Although I couldn't feel His presence, I still claimed His love and promises because my faith had grown through my many difficulties. I read the devotion in my book this morning and it's message lifted my heart to go on with a faith that transcends my feelings or circumstances. It read: "When nothing on which to lean remains, when strongholds crumble to dust; when nothing is sure but that God still reigns, that is just the time to trust. It's better to walk by faith than sight, in this path of yours and mine; and the darkest night, when there's no outer light, is the time for faith to shine."

This morning brought a new perspective to my mind and a light burst into my darkness that cast God's image of hope before me. He revealed to my spirit that this coming year would be one where His presence would not be so evident but that He was going to go on ahead a bit and call to me to follow Him in faith. Just as a healing soldier needs to push on through physical therapy, a child needs to crawl to develop muscles that will make them able to walk or a butterfly must struggle to emerge from it's cocoon so it's wings are strong enough for flight.......we must develop our faith in order to be able to handle what life has in store for us. God is not absent when hard times come, it is during those times when it is only His wisdom that can strengthen our weary souls and make warriors where there was once only fearful, complaining and doubting children.

We all want to think that life is like a Norman Rockwell painting or a fairy tale but we must grow in our faith to come to terms with the fact that life is hard. There will be losses, heartbreaks, challenges......and without mature faith we will crumble. It's those hard times that will build our spiritual strength so that we can go on, not just for our own good but for the uplifting of others. Faith is a muscle that must be strengthened and developed so that we don't go through life as weak and ineffective soldiers for Christ. We can not remain infantile, broken or immature in our faith, God is real, and just as our body grows so must our faith. We must believe even when we can't see Him........we must trust although everything around us appears hopeless and we must love even when we feel unloved, because He will be our unseen source of all we need and our full portion forever.

Perhaps you, too, have camped by such sweet waters,
and quenched with joy your weary, parched soul's thirst;
to find, as time goes on, your streamlet alters,
from what it was at first.

Hearts that have cheered, or soothed, or blest, or strengthened;
loves that have lavished unreservedly;
joys, treasured joys have past, as time has lengthened,
into obscurity.

If then, O soul, the brook your heart has cherished,
does fail you now - no more your thirst assuage,
if it's once glad streams have perished,
let Him your heart engage.

He will not fail, nor mock, nor disappoint you;
His comfort and care change not with the years;
with oil of joy He surely will anoint you,
and wipe away your tears.

J. Danson Smith

That Stretch of Road

Has your road become weary with no end in sight? Do you feel like the leaves will never return to your trees and their barrenness are a daily discouragement that spring may never come? Each morning you sigh at the lack of hope?

Years ago my brother and I drove across country in the month of July. I decided to move back to California and since I had some belongings we decided to pack up my old Cutlass Supreme and make a road trip out of it. My sister had flown my infant son there already, so, jammed between my brother and I was a car seat with my purse and food packed in it. We couldn't see out the back window because so much of my stuff was smashed into that car. But off we went on our cross-country journey.

I have to mention that my brother is an A to B type person whereas I'm an A, B, C, D...type. His primary goal was to get from point A to point B in as little time as possible where I would have loved to mosey and see things along the way. I like to talk to everyone I meet and stop at antique stores... but on this trip, he was the captain. We drove like maniacs as we took turns at the wheel, making hurried pit stops to get gas and use restrooms. He did most of the driving so I had the opportunity to view most of the United States first hand.

I remember how gorgeous Kentucky was with its vast green hills and horse farms. Missouri for some reason really caught my eye as we drove through it as the sun was at an angle. The shadows from the tilted light gave the terrain a picturesque quality along with the scattered solemn trees that stood on the hills. The heartland's beauty kept my soul filled and my mind occupied as the journey stretched out.

Then, came the Mohave desert with its barren, dry and relentless obscurity. We headed into it with determination as we sang Beatles songs out loud together. The old Cutlass had no air-conditioning and the desert offered no radio reception so our self entertainment was all we had. We drove for miles as the temperature climbed to 120 degrees and the floor of the car was like a bon fire under our feet. It didn''t take long to realize the monotonous boredom and discomfort that the elements were creating. We would literally drive for miles and miles with the only goal of getting over the next horizon with the hope that the desert would end. But, it never relented, over each horizon was just another long stretch of barren desert. It was like groundhog day in hell!

My mind began to feel hopeless as the miles of blistering heat wore my senses down. "When will this end?!, I can't take anymore!!" Was the mantra cycling through my entire being. Reaching another horizon to only find a repetitive stretch of desert reaching out before me again, made me think that I was going to die there. We were racing at 100 miles per hour with our feet blistering from the fiery tar that was burning up the tires. The scorching hot wind from having the windows down seemed to be searing our reasoning powers. Just when you think that God has abandoned you, when you think that God will allow your tires to disintegrate and you will suffer a slow death on the scorching tar...Hope arrives.

The desert finally ended. The freeway opened up and there were towns, commerce, provisions. "Thank you Lord", I kept repeating over and over. The temperature lowered and relief began to enter our consciousness. After a stretch of crowded freeway the road dipped down and then rose up to heaven. There was the Pacific Ocean before us with it's cool breeze and sparkling waves. Hell had transitioned into heaven, despair into hope, roaring heat into refreshing cool air.

THAT STRETCH OF ROAD that seemed to never end, ended. The hopelessness of the mind, now had hope. Hearts that were weak now raced with energy and our flesh found renewal. I will never forget the lesson of the desert and how it positioned me to handle so many "desert experiences" that were still yet to come in my life.

Dear ones, are you in a blistering, lonely desert right now? Does it feel as though God has deserted you and that all hope of ever feeling the coolness of joy has escaped? Is your dilemma or trial appearing endless and you're feeling like each horizon just ushers you into more pain? The Israelites, in their desert of discontent asked, "Can God spread a table in the desert?" I tell you, YES HE CAN. He brought forth water from a rock for them. Not just cups of water but a gushing, over abundance of water! God also rescued Elijah in his desert (1 Kings 19), and Hagar in hers (Genesis 21:8-21), and so many others in His great grace.

Your desert will end but never loose sight that God is in the desert with you. It's there where He meets us in the most personal and profound ways. When we adopt the philosophy that comfort, happiness and self entitlement is due to us, then we stunt ourselves from ever growing and maturing. When life gets tough, I seek out tough people to help me through. Christ himself walked through many deserts, ones of tremendous temptation, loneliness, despair and grief. Should God himself suffer while we refuse to share in those sufferings? (Romans 8:17, 2 Corinthians 1:5,1 Peter 5:1). Jesus endured suffering, even to the cross, for one reason, "For the joy set before Him" (Hebrews 12:2). WE were that joy.

Don't try to get through the desert alone but trust and lean on Jesus. He knows the terrain and will supply all you'll need to get through. He will bring you to waters of refreshment, an ocean for your weary soul. In that time of relief you will realize that your experience in the desert, with your Savior, is a gift that will serve you and others on your earthly travels throughout your lifetime.

Isaiah 32:15, "...till the Spirit is poured upon us from on high, and the desert becomes a fertile field and the fertile field seems like a forest."

My favorite place on this entire planet is a forest up in the High Sierras. Yet, I have to drive for hours through the desert to get there. Your desert will end, but, I pray you will get through it with the awareness that Christ is with you. No matter what the elements or lack of scenery or level of discomfort, Jesus has been there and He will get you through.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Carry on.

The Mercy of a Pause

Her name was Abigail and after reading her story I could see myself being friends with her. I could imagine any kind and thoughtful person totally "getting her." I still recall her acts of wisdom and call them to mind when I need counsel. We are made up of many people in our lives, adopting good behavior from some and hopefully rejecting foolishness from others. Abigail is someone who you should mirror and desire to be like.

Her-story is in the Old Testament book of 1 Samuel, chapter 25. Abigail was a woman who was intelligent and beautiful (25:3), I imagine her as one who loved others and found her joy in those around her. She had to, because her husband Nabal was a crude and foolish man. When someone who has a giving heart and thoughtful mind is joined with a stingy, thoughtless person, it will be the kind soul that extends empathy and grace toward others as they cover for the fool. That is exactly what happens in this story. David and his 600 men had taken it upon themselves to protect the interests of a land owner named Nabal. Nabal's shepherds took protection from David and his men during the sheep shearing season and because of this Nabel's estate profited.

David sent messengers to ask Nabal for his kindness toward him and his men by offering hospitality to them but Nabal ignored them for a long time. When he did address them he scoffed at them, insulted David and refused hospitality to them. They returned to David and told him of what happened, which sparked an immediate response of fury from their leader. "Put on your swords!" David told his men, and he himself put on his. Four hundred men pounded toward Nabals estate with a thirst for vengeance. Disaster was inevitable.

One of the servants at Nabal's estate told Abigal, Nabal's wife, the truth of how David's men protected them and how they requested hospitality but got only insults hurled at them by Nabal. She warned Abigal that disaster was headed their way so Abigal wasted no time. She immediately interceded with a plan (which I'm sure she was skilled at since she had to do this many times for her foolish husband throughout the years.) She assembled her servants and engaged with them to prepare a feast of food and drink. She knew words alone would not hinder the path of David and his men but a food would.

How many of us would have the presence of mind to think so clearly when we knew that calamity was heading our way?  Thoughts of survival such as hunkering down or fleeing for saftey would probably be our first reaction. Abigal was of wise character though as she took action without haste. She loaded up donkeys with the delicacies and sent her servants ahead of her with the provisions. She met up with those who went ahead and saw David and his men heading toward Nabals. The scripture clearly paints the picture that David's full intent was to slaughter Nabal and all the men of his household. David's heart was filled with vengeance and fury. He was out of control and completely driven by his emotions.

That day, on that desert road, God intervened through Abigal to protect His servant David from a sin that would have left him covered with shame and disgrace. A sin that would have made David a murderer rather than a noble warrior. A sin that would have kept David from God's plan for his life and his position as the chosen King of Israel.

So many times we thank God for what we have but never take into mind what calamity God has kept from us. Gratitude goes both ways and reminds us not only of the grace that is bestowed upon us by God's gifts but also of the mercy that withholds misfortune. Our emotions can drive us to say things that can never be taken back as well as actions that are devastatingly irreversible. God's grace and mercy can save us from ourselves if we would only accept "His Divine pause."

Abigal presented a pause for David as she delivered a plea to him. She descended from her donkey, hit her knees before him and spoke reason to him. She humbled herself and begged him to listen to her. The smell and sight of the provisions she brought along with her beauty and wisdom stopped David in his tracks. She had the ear of the future King and the Divine Pause was achieved. Abigal was a living instrument in the hands of the God.

So many times we allow someones actions or words to get us to react in ungodly ways. We argue back, we curse them, we crumble in tears of self-pity, refusing to even attempt to see what God is trying to accomplish. That's why God so desires for us to want His heart within us! Because if we have His heart then He can complete His good works in all of our lives. Most of what we blame God for is a direct result of our disobedience.

After David hears Abigal out he responds to her, "Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak." Then David accepted her gifts and sent her home with a blessing of peace. "I have heard your words and granted your request." David told her. The Divine Pause changed all of history.

Abigal returned home to find her husband Nabal drunk so she waited to tell him of the events that took place until morning. Another act of wisdom attributed to the humble woman of God. The next day she told him everything and he immediately suffered a stroke. About ten days later Nabal died. God upheld David's cause and delivered His justice to the foolish and wicked man. David went on to marry Abigal.

The Mercy of a Pause. How dangerous to disregard it or refuse to see it. The legacy of our life and the lives of others depends on our willingness to take that pause!

Ephesians 4:26, "In your anger do not sin..."

Bottom Cry

When you encounter someone who is emotional, edgy and spiraling downward try to remember that it's not our job to put all their broken pieces back together, it's Gods. We are not saviors, Christ is the Savior. We need to humble ourselves before the Lord and be servants to His work. When He has dealt with me, I recall His stillness and sense of peace as He would listen to my lamentations. In His wisdom He knows that all the words we're crying out are coming from a deeper place, our BOTTOM CRY. His love sees straight through to the heart of our pain and it's from there He wants to begin healing us. Only God can love and heal at that level.

He does use us though, to be His hands, eyes, ears and mouth. We need to be a source of God's love for the hurting and use our arms to hold them, our eyes to relate to them and our ears to hear them. We need to let Jesus love through us. BUT, we have to pray for wisdom regarding Gods perfect timing! Nothing can replace the sacred time that a soul spends alone with their God. Many times prayer is our only current duty but so many times we take the wheel from God and try to fix everything in our timing. In those times when darkness overwhelms, it is only God who can work in the dark. In the book of Job 38:2, God says to Job regarding a friend who is trying to counsel in the darkness, "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?" Read Job, chapter 38-42, you will be blown away by the rebuke of God to those who try to do His work as oppose to the work God instructs them to do!

I've always been a fixer, someone who jumps into another persons mess with my opinions. Yet, as I mature in the faith, I am learning to just be available to God and to stop blocking Gods work. His timing is perfect, not mine, and I can do irreparable harm by jumping in front of Him. We would be shocked to death if we truly understood the damage that is done when we talk over God! (Seriously, read those chapters in the book of Job!)

The Bottom Cry is a wailing from the soul that only God knows how to comfort and guide. Let people know that you are there, whether it be at a distance in prayer or just to sit and listen...but don't counsel until they ask or until God's Spirit moves you. More of God's love shines through our actions than our words. People need what only God can offer yet we try to take over and it only hinders the work of grace and healing. Our responsibility is to get our own hearts right with God. We cannot comfort or offer wisdom to someone unless we have layed ourselves out before God first. It's so easy to work on other people because we think if we shine a light on them then Gods light will be off of us.

The rawness and vulnerability of our bottom cry is a beautiful thing and we shouldn't be in such a hurry to get away from that place. We try to rush others into comfort as well as ourselves because we fear the place of sorrow. But, Jesus was a man of sorrows (Isaiah 53:3) and He doesn't want us rushing to feel good, He wants us to sit with Him so He can comfort, counsel, empathize and heal us from the inside out. The bottom cry, the place of sorrow is Christ's wheel-house, it is in His embrace where we must begin that journey. Then, at the perfect time He will call us to reach out to someone.

Psalm 4, "Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer."

John 13:23, " John, leaned in and put his head on Jesus' breast..."

Cornered

Life is a game of power and control that can suck even the humblest of souls in at many levels. What do we do when someone check mates us and they appear to have all the control and we are imprisoned, cornered and see no way out! Well, there are three choices that we have at that point and it takes a soulful decision that will determine the outcome.  

The first choice is to refuse the other two options and to choose hopelessness then death. Isaiah 40:27 reads, "Why do you say and complain, "My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God?" A person whose mind sees no hope and their heart does not believe that God will rescue them will choose this option. They simply do not see any way out.

The second option is ingrained in our flesh and it is to fight with fury. Pull out all the weapons of our rage and seek to destroy. The problem with that option is it will not only destroy the opponent but it also destroys us in the process. We live through the battle but we are decimated in character, shackled with bitterness and live a life with a soul that is diseased and shriveled. We also leave the stench of our ungodly behavior in our wake and it follows us where ever we go, repulsing those around us. It's not a win but a massacre and we are left covered with shame. A chain of resentment, anger, rage, stubbornness, bitterness, emptiness...is placed around our neck by our own self as a congratulatory metal but it weighs us down and cripples us. Our pride puffs us up on the outside but makes us too bloated to enter into any grace. A sick and twisted victory that even the survivor can't live with. Yet, so many take this wide path out of the corner because it is the only path that is wide enough to carry all their ugly, clanging plunder through.

There is a third option but it is narrow. In order to escape this way one must lay down all that is not righteous. The gate to this path is shaped like Jesus and until we surrender our self-righteousness we cannot fit through it. We must sacrifice our own desires for revenge and take on His character of humility. Romans 12:19,20 reads, "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written, "It is mine to avenge, I will repay, says the Lord." On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on their conscience." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Being trapped and cornered is usually looked at as a horrible thing but quite the contrary. That is a place of repose and freedom, if we allow God to shape us there into His image. There's an old saying, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way." Most humans choose the hard way. Like a fish on a hook being reeled in, we will writhe, contort, lash about and buck His every attempt to calm us and transform us. He knows though, that if deep down you weren't willing you would have chosen option #1 or #2 already. So God waits, and waits until we wear ourselves out.

I recall the time my three year old granddaughter came to California from Belgium. She was exhausted and her little mind could not adapt to the time change. In her frustration she became uncontrollable and inconsolable to the point that she had no wits about her. So I took her into the bedroom and tried to get her to sleep but she was having none of it. I held her in a loose hold in my arms as she fought me every inch of the way with her body and full spirit. I sang songs to her, prayed over her and just kept telling her that I knew what was best for her and she had to trust me. Well, two hours later she relented in my arms and finally exhausted herself. She slept for 19 hours and woke the next day fully refreshed and being her old cute self again. Not one remnant or memory about the wrestling match remained, only the fact that I was Nana and I loved her. That memory always served as a reminder to me that God knows what's best for me. I can fight Him or I can relent and let Him have His way with me. His way is always best.

Choosing humility is NOT EASY, so how do we do it? The first step is to get all our injustices layed out before Jesus (He certainly understands injustice.). Psalm 22:24 says, "For He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; He has not hidden His face from him but has listened to his cry for help." Lay it out, wrestle with God, cry, lament, scream... get it out of you and before Him. Does it all feel too dirty and vile to expose it before God? He already knows your thoughts so get over it and throw it all up in His lap, He can take it. Calm your spirit.

Second, set a time limit of how long you are going to wallow then stick to it (unless you want to release yourself from it sooner). Don't let your emotions own you by giving them an open ended ticket to reside in your being for as long as they want. It's okay to have a pity party but all parties must end at some time. Calm your mind.

Third, stop pacing like a wild animal that wants to hunt but can't because it's in a cage. Calm yourself and let the zoo-keeper bring you food and water. God did this for Elijah in 1 Kings, chapter 19 when he provided Elijah with nourishment and refreshment and rest after he ran from Jezebel's wrath and wore himself completely out. Calm your body.

The fourth step to humility is to make the conscience choice to engage with a trusted confidant who will listen hard and long and who you know will offer you sound, Godly wisdom. Opening ourselves up to accountability is difficult because then there is someone out there who not only knows our mess but is going to offer encouragement at a time when all we want to do is to tell everyone to shut up and back off. Isolation is the devils playground and as much as we want to wallow, trust me, it's God's playground you want to be in when your vulnerable. Calm our pride.

The fifth step is to WANT to get out by the narrow path. Posture yourself for that, determine it in your whole being. Be a drill Sergeant to yourself and have a plan. Let true conviction steer you to the complete commitment that you are going to de-bloat yourself of pride and take on the garment of God's righteousness instead. Begin to pray again, trust God again, read His Word and LET HIM love you! Mother Theresa said, "It is never about you and another person, it is always about you and God." Let God deal with the vengeance so you can focus completely on finding some peace through your storm. Opponents love it when we are reactive but they despise when we have peace. Calm your demeanor.

Being cornered is an AWFUL feeling! Christ knows exactly how you feel. Remember Him begging His Father in the Garden of Gethsemane to release Him from the cross experience? His anxiety broke the blood vessels in His face and He literally was sweating blood. Yet He told His Father, "Your will not mine." He set His pride aside to be obedient to His Father. Will you make that choice? The choice to love God more.

Psalm 25: 1-5, "To you , O Lord, I lift up my soul; in You I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is put in You will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long."

Luke 13:24, "Make every effort to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will try to enter but will fail."

True Joy

Thoughts on Eden


On my desk is a prayer notebook with names of people listed inside. Some I know but many are strangers that I've met and took the time to ask them if there was anything I could offer up in prayer for them. It always amazes me how everyone has a prayer request. The human heart wants to believe there is a loving God that cares for them amidst all the pain in this world. All souls desire hope.


As I was looking at the names in my book I recalled a young woman that I had met in a drug store. She immediately engaged in conversation with me which led to the topic of God and church! She was so full of joy and wonder as we talked about deep things. After about 20 minutes of talking I saw her facial muscles go down and a look of despair come over her face. I asked what she was thinking and there it was...the dichotomy of what we know is God's will and what we desire in our own hearts. She asked me my opinion regarding a choice that she was struggling with and I told her that I would not tell her what I thought but what the bible says about it. It is sin just as so many other things in our hearts, minds and lives are. Its no different than a heart filled with unforgiveness or a mind that dwells on worshipping nature above the Creator. God's desire is that we choose to remain in His flock where we are safe and not wander out into territories of our own desires. Her demeanor changed instantly to a combative stance and I could see instantly that this was an area of her heart that she wanted her desires and not God's. It is at those precise moments where we choose WHO God IS or we make up our own version of a god to suit our desires.


We all have our "Eden" moments when we are not satisfied with all that God has given us but we yearn for the fruit that is forbidden. I believe the first thought that leads our minds to wander to the forbidden tree is, "I'm not happy." As soon as we let our eyes wander beyond the flock of God and not "Hold every thought captive unto God." 2 Corinthians 10:5. The pull on our hearts begins and our minds are hooked and begin getting reeled in.


Why was Eve even near the forbidden tree? She had the entire lush garden of delights and God's blessings all around her and available to her yet she wandered toward the forbidden tree. She gazed in it's direction and wondered if there was MORE. She allowed herself to go closer because she kept looking in that direction. Rather than keeping her eyes on God and all the goodness He gave her she chose to let the lure of MORE cast its hook through her focus. The mind and the heart are connected and where the mind goes the heart follows. So she went closer.


The closer we get to something the more of our visual span is consumed by the object. We can satisfy more curiosities. As Eve allowed herself to draw closer she was now able to hear the sounds that surrounded the forbidden tree. A voice whispered, too low to fully hear it she leaned in. The hiss spoke, "Did God really say, "You must not eat from any tree in the garden?" The woman replied, "We must not eat from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die." Eve is now engaged with "The Hissing More" and he has all of her attention. "You will not die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." Eve now directs her focus to the fruit and reckons in her mind that it is good for food, pleasing to the eye and desirable for gaining MORE wisdom, so she eats of it. Her heart took what it wanted.(Adam was with her but that is a story for another day.)


Our craving for MORE starts with looking in the wrong direction. God wants our focus on Him and His goodness but when we choose to let our eyes wander it's then that our mind begins to toy with the object of desire. Like a cat who settles for a ball of yarn when its owner has so much more to offer. That playful ball of yarn doesn't offer us food, water, hugs, love, protection, true companionship...yet the eyes of the cat cannot resist it's appeal. We then throw our heart with wreakless abandon to the lure. Whether it be drugs, adultery, idolatry, sexual immorality, unforgiveness, a haughty spirit, gossip...we now have a new master. One that is fickle, two-faced, conditional and offers no long-term affection or safety. We are now at the mercy of the ravenous wolves and elements. Our souls are exposed to a master that cannot be trusted.


Just as the Apostle Peter sank when he took his eyes off of Jesus as he was called out upon the stormy seas (Matthew 14:29), we fall into cold, dark waters when we take our eyes off Jesus and choose our own way. But, praise be to God our Savior who will hear if we cry out, plunge His hand down into our darkness and pull us back into His presence of safety and goodness! Into His unconditional love.


There are foxes, coyotes, bears...out there my friends who are just waiting for a wandering lamb to leave the fold. When we choose to leave the presence of our Shepherd we are exposed and vulnerable to the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual attacks that shred our souls. I recently read a quote from the Dalai Lama which said, "The purpose of our lives is to be happy." As I chuckled a bit and then felt sorrow for those who believe that, I realized that it is that exact mind-set that causes our eyes to look beyond the flock. If we cannot be happy with the Shepherd then God help us when we look elsewhere! The seach for happiness due to our discontent is just The Hissing Voice telling us that there is MORE out there, but there is not.


The "MORE" that we need is in Christ! Finding Joy in all our circumstances, experiencing His grace and compassion when we deal with loss, forgiving and reconnecting, loving more deeply, having a whole and healthy soul that is free of shame, families reunited or rebuilding a new family after the wreckage of divorce, sweet sleep, a calm and peaceful mind, a happy home, peace regarding our eternity, a body free from anxiety...


Little lambs, what your soul needs is not OUT THERE, it is in the fold. Our Shepherd promises us that no matter what is in this world that He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). That doesn't mean that bad things will not happen but it does mean that it will all happen in His sovereign, merciful hands. Many people have seen horrors that this world dished out and as long as we are on this planet of discontent sin will continue. Our choice though is will we stay near to the Shepherd or will we run with the wolves till they themselves turn on us.


I know temptation and every time I followed it I left it's presence broken, filled with pain and shame. I was wounded there and it took many years for those deep wounds to heal. Outside the flock I numbed my pain and distracted my shriveled soul so that I could cope in the environment. When all the while I could have been with my Shepherd, my Savior, where I would have been safe and loved. My heart would have experienced true joy and not the unsatisfying pursuit of fleeting happiness. Read the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32. When we make up a god who fits into "our" lifestyle we then have a distorted image of our perception of God. This invented idol lets us down, turns on us, leads us into paths of destruction and pain. We then question the real God's love when in truth it was our "idol of self desire" that disappointed us. As long as we want what we want rather than what He (Christ) wants for us, we will never know true joy or satifaction.


Cry out to Jesus little lamb for you are not out there in the darkness alone. He has come after you and is waiting on your cry for help. He will not turn from you but He will reach down and raise you up to His chest. In His great mercy, grace and love He will hold you tight and bring you home to the flock. There He will cleanse you of the scarlet stains and make you white as snow.


Isaiah 40:11, "He (God) tends His flock like a shepherd, He gathers His lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart."


Keep your gaze on Jesus.